contraband heater

It is very cold in the office building that I work in. There is no thermostat in our suite to control the temp. Apparantly, the temp. in the whole building is controlled by maintenance. My co-worker has called to complain about the air many times. They are usually nice about it. They turned the temp up a degree for us. (She asked about space heaters and they are not allowed)

Last Friday, when I was off work, the building had trouble with the thermostat. My co-worker said it was 50 degrees. Our friends on the first floor went out to get space heaters. They blew some fuses in their office because they had several of the heaters going.

We knew the heaters were illegal, but our boss said that we could have one anyway. I have been nice and toasty warm with my heater. Sitting by the window makes it very cold. When I came into the office on Monday, I noticed that my heater was hidden in my bottom desk drawer. I asked my co-worker about it, and she said our boss wants us to hide them each night.

December stinks!

I don't look forward to December. It is the busiest month of the year. There are a million Christmas parties to go to where you have to bring a gift and meal. There is always a work dinner. Somewhere you have to fit in Christmas cards and buying gifts. We always travel to see both sides of the family. (I should explain that I get panic attacks when I think of everything that has to get accomplished.)

I would complain some more but I am feeling a little better about things. I think I have my Christmas shopping done! We did a lot of ordering online this year. We aren't buying as many gifts either as last year.

I am looking forward to seeing Roamer and Dar. Their party won't be so bad or stressful.

NJ

I haven't done a baby post in awhile. So, here is a NJ update. NJ turns 5 months old tomorrow! He has already started on solid foods. He doesn't seem too thrilled about the rice cereal though. I am going to try a different type of cereal soon. I am also considering starting him on some baby jar foods. I have noticed that NJ likes his formula and cereal made with warm water. He will not eat or drink anything that is cold. I am the same way! I have been heating his cereal up in the microwave before I give it to him.

NJ has the best laugh! Dust likes to push him up in the air and say "Whose the baby?" That usually gets a good giggle out of him. I got him to laugh really good today. He was lying down on a blanket and I would get right up in his face and say "Whose the baby?" He likes the inflection of the voice going up and down. He started touching my face when I was leaning over him.

When I change NJ's diaper, he likes to grab my arm. He will grab about anything in front of him. I have to watch my hair if it hangs down close to him. He likes to pull hair!

no tree

I am considering not putting up the Christmas tree this year. It is a lot of work putting the fake tree together. There is the lights, garland, and ornaments also. I don't know when I would have the time. I don't know when I am going to find the time to shop for Christmas presents either.

We will be going out of town for the holidays, so it somewhat seems pointless to put a tree up. We will be gone for 11 days. Then there is the work of taking it down.

I helped decorate my parent's Christmas tree over Thanksgiving. I secretly still view my parent's tree as my Christmas tree. It has all of my ornaments that I got growing up on it. : )

It basically boils down to the fact that I am lazy. I am ok to come out and admit that I am extremely lazy. : )

Nine years ago today......

Nine years ago today, Dust gave me a note that said he was interested in me. It was also miss carisma's 15th birthday! Happy Birthday! Dust told me that his sister was turning 16 and wanted to know what to buy her. I was messed up on miss Carisma's age for awhile.

Anyway, back to the story behind the note. I had started my work-study job cleaning the Academic Building. I was vacuuming a room on the first floor, when I saw my friend Pete in the window. I went out to see him and he told me to follow him because it was his job to distract me for awhile. Dust was supposed to leave the note on the floor. I ended up seeing him and he handed it to me and Pete and him ran off. The note said, "Golden, I wanted to let you know that I'm interested." He attached his school picture to the note. I was so excited! I couldn't wait to get off work. Dust started work an hour after I did. He cleaned the carpets in the cafeteria. When my friend and I walked back to the dorms after work, we stopped at the cafeteria door. I jumped up and down and waved at Dust. He waved back. I wanted to give him a note in return. I took my name plate that was attached to my dorm door by a magnet off and taped it to a note. I wrote the "feelings are mutual." My friend Pete stuck it in his mailbox at the dorm. Dust came back from work and Pete told him to check his mailbox. We met in the study room and Dust asked me out on a date for Friday. It would be a double-date with Pete.

The rest is history....

the maintenance guy

On the show "Scrubs" some of the doctors are "friendly" or friends with the janitor. I had a hard time believing that until recently. I just couldn't see where the doctors would have time to get to know him. I guess it's really the janitor that "bothers" the doctors.

My coworker and I have gotten to know the maintenance guy from our building. He gets bored and chit-chats with the office workers. The maintenance guy is named Rob. He remembered that I was pregnant and asked how the baby was when I returned from maternity leave.

Rob knows everything that goes on in the building. We told Rob that our boss's Wall Street Journal gets stolen about twice a month. (All the papers for the building gets tossed in the doorway on the first floor) He told us that he knows who does it but he wasn't going to tell us who it was. He came back after an hour from talking to us and brought us our Wall Street Journal. Rob had a talk with the person and told us that this person wouldn't do it anymore. This person thought that we had taken his by mistake. Rob told him that noone from our company gets to the building before 9 am, so that is why ours is always lying there. We were glad that the case was solved. This person is going to call the Wall Street when he doesn't get it. We will see about that.

what smell do you leave behind?

One day this week I was waiting to get on the elevator at work. I was going down to the first floor to pick up our mail in the mailroom. A man in a suit walked out of the elevator. As I walked by him and on to the elevator, I smelled wintergreen gum. The whole elevator smelled of the mint gum. I thought it amusing that one person and one stick of gum could leave that smell behind. That's when I wondered what kind of smell I left behind. Sometimes I smell like formula if the baby spits up on me.

Smells certainly get people's attention. If I asked you to name someone that wears heavy perfume/cologne, I bet you would have no trouble naming them off. We all know some guy that smells like he bathed in cologne. When I pick NJ up at the nursery at church, he reaks of ladies perfume. He gets a new scent each week because a different lady holds him each time. I smell the perfume all day on him if I don't change his outfit.

I hope I leave good smells and not bad smells.

independent thought

I was telling Dust the other day that I don't think that I have ever had an independent or original thought about anything. Maybe it's because I'm apathetic about almost everything. I have an "I don't care" attitude. I know that's bad, but it's hard to change.

Dust was laughing because at my job, independent thoughts are discouraged. Usually those would be encouraged at a job. My boss doesn't take well to new ideas. He has said no to almost everything that my co-workers have asked.

Maybe I have a hard time thinking outside the box. With accounting there isn't much outside the box thinking unless you refer to "creative bookkeeping". ( "Sure you can write that item off.") I love rules and I love staying within those rules. I find safety in what I know to be true.

I always had trouble in school when an assignment asked why you thought what the answer was. Somehow I always got marked wrong for "I don't care". : ) I always knew the answer to the question except when they asked why it was so. Maybe my legalistic upbringing had an effect.

Baby Jesus

It is Halloween night and I just got back from the Hallelujah House at our church. It is a walk-through the Bible event with skits and candy. A Halloween alternative. Anyway, NJ was baby Jesus in the Nativity skit. He did pretty good. He had his bottle and then fell asleep during it. He got fussy around 7:30 and I decided it was time to get him home to bed. They were going to use a doll for baby Jesus after we left.

I got NJ's acting debut on video camera and the digital camera. Dust was in class so he didn't get to see it. I am sure the grandparents will enjoy the pictures and video also.

jealousy

Everyone at one time or another goes through jealousy of another person. I don't consider myself a jealous person though. I usually tend to be genuinely happy for people when they get something that they have wanted. What I want to talk about is other people that have been jealous of me.

I have lost friendships with others because they were jealous of me. I have the tendency to let my friends know all the good things going on with me and hide the bad. A previous friend of mine once told me that she wished that I would have considered her a friend in all seasons whether good or bad. This friend seemed to always have bad luck. She couldn't take hearing all the positive things that I had to say about my life. I didn't want to complain. And I don't brag about things either. I usually state facts and try not to gloat or brag. Also, there are things that are too personal to even tell your best friend.

I have been doing better with letting friends know when I am going through a hard time. I still like to be optimistic and positive about things though. It's a hard balance for me. I guess because I am such a private person.

Tigers or Cardinals?

For the last couple of weeks, I have been watching the playoffs for the World Series on tv. I haven't watched baseball on tv in a very long time. It has peaked my interest because my family are Detroit Tigers fans. Over the last couple of years my brother has become a huge St. Louis Cardinals fan. He even bought season tickets this year for the Cardinals. He has been selling the ones that he can't go to on Ebay. So, my brother is a bit torn about the World Series. He grew up a Detroit fan, and still is one. But he is also a Cardinals fan.

My brother and my Dad will be going to one of the World Series games. He said he wants to wear a Detroit hat with a Cardinals jersey. My brother wants my Dad to wear his Detroit jersey with a Cardinals hat. He thinks that will make a great conversation starter. I told him he might get taunted or yelled at. Especially if he is sitting in the area of the season ticket holders for the Cardinals. I think my Dad is rooting for Detroit. He grew up in Michigan. My brother is so excited about going to the World Series. He said it is the perfect father/son event.

candy corn

When I was a little girl I loved eating candy corn. My grandma always had candy corn around her house and I always ate it there. For the last few years, I have noticed that my grandma keeps giving me candy corn as gifts around the holidays. I never understood why. I had forgot that I loved candy corn as a girl. She still thinks that candy corn is my favorite thing! I don't have the heart to tell her that I 'm not crazy over candy corn like I used to be. My grandparents told Dust this weekend that Golden's favorite candy is candy corn. And they asked him what his sweet tooth was. : )

There is a particular way that I like to eat my candy corn. My OCD habit is to try to bite down on each individual line on the candy corn. I eat the white top of the triangle first. Then the orange middle, and last the yellow bottom.

grandparents

My grandparents are coming to visit this weekend. My parents are driving them up here. They live in Michigan, but they drove down to where my parents live to stay with them for awhile. My grandmother also has a sister that lives in that area and they were going to stay with her also.

This will be the first time my grandparents see NJ in person! They can't wait to meet their first great-grandchild. This will also be the first time for them to see our house. And the first time for them to visit our church. So, on Sunday we will be going to the first service-the traditional one. They have stated how they hate contemporary services. They can't stand up the whole time and they don't know the songs.

I hope the weekend goes well.

Oobi

Have you seen the Oobi cartoon on the Noggin channel on cable? I can't believe that is a show! Or maybe it's just a skit that is part of another show. An Oobi is just an adult human hand with two eyeballs on top! Did they not have money for material to make a puppet?

I can't believe that it made tv. Imagine hearing the idea of a hand talking as an idea for a kids show. I would have said that it would never have made it past the idea stage.

Do you ever have those thoughts about other tv shows or toys? Shows and toys that become popular sometimes amaze me. Like who would ever have thought talking vegetables would be a successful cartoon for kids-(VeggieTales).

my office

I just realized today that it was my first time to work alone in my very own office at work. When our company moved to a new suite, I was training someone to do my job. We worked together. She quit and I had to train someone else. Then we worked together until I had the baby. Last week, I just watched her do my job. I sat behind her at her desk. Today I got to fully enjoy having an office to myself.

It was so nice to not have someone watching me do my job. And it was nice to not have to watch someone else do my job. I love working when it is quiet and peaceful. It was so much easier to concentrate on what I was doing.

Now all I have to do is to get my co-worker to quit coming in my office and talking to me. : ) I don't mind the occasional chit-chat. It is all the ideas that she has on how to do things differently that bothers me.

back to work

I have survived my first week back to work. My boss wanted me to watch my co-worker do my job to jog my memory. So, this week I just sat back and watched. My boss demands perfection, so I can see that he wouldn't want me to mess anything up. Everything came back to me. I even remembered some things better than my co-worker. But again I have worked there 2 years and she has only been there 4 months.

I have felt a lot better this week. NJ is sleeping more hours straight, so I am too! It is nice to have a break from taking care of him. I was going a bit crazy caring for him 24/7. I had had several crying breakdowns. I am happier than I have been in awhile. I do miss NJ though during the day. I am excited to be able to spend a day home with him tomorrow!

my last weekday

This is my last weekday home with NJ before I go back to work. Yes, I am a bit sad. I am devoting this day to spoiling NJ. He is in my arms as I hunt and peck the keys with one hand. He fell asleep on my chest after I burped him. I wanted to keep him upright so he wouldn't spit up if I laid him in bed. I should lay him down right now. But, there is nothing more precious than a sleeping baby on your chest.

I will have Fridays off work, so technically I will still have one weekday home with NJ. The other four days I have superb childcare by T. That makes going back to work easier for me. It comforts me to know that NJ will be in the comforts of his own home. T and NJ will do great together.

On another note, NJ slept 5 hours straight last night for the first time! Yay for him and his tired mommy!

Bad day at SDC

Last Thursday, my mom and I decided to go to Silver Dollar City. It was a last minute decision we made around lunch time. My mom decided to take the shortcut to SDC on a new highway called the high road. She made a wrong turn which cost us a bit of time. We pushed NJ in his stroller into the park. We both realized that we were very out of shape. We were completely exhausted when we entered the park. We couldn't ride the tram because of the carseat/stroller.

We stopped at the bakery and fed NJ a bottle. We also got a snack. It was hotter than we thought it would be outside. Probably in the '80's. My mom was nervous about NJ getting overheated. She took the cloth diaper I use for a burp rag and got it wet and draped it across the car seat. It blocked the sun and hopefully provided some moisture. NJ was fussy in the General Store and it made my mom nervous which makes me nervous. He continued to be fussy in this big red barn that had a pony show going on.

My mom took a picture of NJ and I by a cowboy statue. She put her camera back in her purse. She doesn't remember if she put her purse back in the stroller or not. About 10 minutes later, my mom asked me to get the SDC brochure out of her purse and we realized that her purse was missing. We traced our steps and asked every beverage stand if someone had turned in a purse. We checked the lost and found and noone had turned a purse in. Our next thought was that it must have been stolen from the stroller. I had remembered a lady bending down suspiciously to look at NJ and make over him. Everyone wanted to look at NJ and say how cute he was.

I had my wallet in my diaper bag, so I was able to pay for some early supper for us. The cashier overheard us saying that my mom's purse may have been stolen and she called security. The security guard took our info. and said that he would look for the purse in the trash cans around were we last remember having the purse. I gave him my cell number to call if they found it. Just as the park was closing at 6pm, we got a call on my cell phone. Someone had turned the purse into some beverage vendor outside the barn. We must have missed one of the vendors. Nothing was missing out of my mom's purse thankfully. My dad was on his way to bring some keys to mom's car. We called him and caught him before he had driven to far.

I was bummed that in all the panic of the situation, I didn't get my kettle corn or big cookie. We had a terrible time. I did get to see the new kids section of rides though. Lesson learned-don't take a baby to SDC with your nervous mother.

my trip to see my parents

I am overjoyed at the bonding that NJ has had with his Grams and Gramps so far. Gramps has walked NJ around the house when I needed a break in the morning to take a shower. Grams has rocked him in the recliner and given him some bottles. They love to make over their grandbaby.

I have gotten some needed sleep since I have been at my parents house. My meals have been made for me. I feel really spoiled.

We went to the restaurant that my brother works at on Saturday. The cajun food was pretty good. My brother was our server, and he came and sat down with us for a second because he only had one other customer.

We might go to SDC later this week. I can't wait! We will also visit some friends and family and show off NJ

Labor Day weekend

I loved the Deanna Rose Farmstead when I went last Thursday for Mops, so I decided to show Dust and Miss Carisma what it was like. We have pictures of NJ in his stroller asleep by goats. I can't wait until he can have a pony ride or go fishing in the pond. The weather was awesome.

We found a 50-75% off sale of baby clothes at Penney's. Aunt Miss Carisma wanted to spoil her nephew NJ. He got a cute onesie that said chick with a magnet picture. : ) His Grampa will love the brown camoflouge outfit with a moose on it.

It was great having Miss Carisma entertain NJ while I slept or did housework. She was great at keeping him from crying. She did a lot of walking him around the kitchen which he seemed to enjoy.

This afternoon NJ has his 2 month shots. DTP-Tetanus, Pertussis. He won't be a happy camper tonight. Remember us.

upcoming events

Since I have been at home with NJ, all the days seem to run together. It's the same old same old. Don't get me wrong, I love being with NJ. We eat, sleep, poop, and watch tv together. I try to get out of the house once during the day. Either to Target, Wal-Mart, Hy-vee, or Osco Drug. NJ usually has a crying spell in the middle of the store. I am usually able to contain it with the pacifier. Anyway, I don't have much to look forward to except some future visits and trips.

Thursday, I am going to the MOPS outing at the Deana Rose Farmstead. That should be fun. I will enjoy pushing NJ around in his stroller. And it will also be nice to socialize. Friday night, Dust's sister, Miss Carisma, will arrive for a visit. This is her first time to see NJ. Also, I will be visiting my parents for one week, beginning Sept. 8th. This will be a fun bonding time for us with NJ. I can't wait!

Survey says..

I signed up for some more online survey sites today. They are free. One of them pays out cash to your paypal account and the other one gives gift certificates. Lightspeedpanel.com, Vindale.com.

I am a sucker for these things. I have been a member of Mypoints.com for several years now. They send me emails of websites to go to and I receive points. Once I earn so many points, I can pick out a giftcard. You can also earn points by purchasing items online. I usually get a $10 gift certificate at Target every few months. I get excited when I see my gift card in the mail.

I know there are scam survey sites out there, so I have to be careful. I do not give out any important info. about me.

tv

I have been watching more tv shows now that I am home during the day. I have noticed there are plenty of '80's sitcoms on cable. I watched an old episode of the Cosby show the other day. It got me thinking about how there aren't many family centered sitcoms anymore. One new one that comes to mind is "The War at Home" on Sunday nights. The parents on the show are pretty bad at parenting. They are extremely open with their kids about everything. The sad thing is that there are probably families out there like this one.

Another show that I watched was "Quantum Leap" with Scott Bakula. I used to love this show.

One program that I am looking forward to this fall is 'til Death with Brad Garrett from "Raymond" It looks pretty funny. The popular tv shows now seem to be dramas. With all the medical and law programs out there.

cry free dinner

Dust and I went out to eat at Olive Garden for our anniversary. We took NJ along with us. We wanted to go to a kid friendly restaurant. Also, a restaurant that wasn't so expensive that people would get angry at us for bringing a crying baby while trying to enjoy a $100 meal.

The hostess asked us if we wanted an infant sling. We both looked at each other and said yes. We didn't quite know what an infant sling was. Apparently it is a "hammock" of sorts for the infant car seat we brought. It worked out great. NJ was awake when we got there but quickly fell asleep. He didn't make one peep the entire time. Dust and I were a little nervous though that at any time he would wake up and start crying. We ate somewhat quickly.

We both realized that it isn't worth going out with NJ if we are nervous the entire time. So, from now on it will either be take-out or find a babysitter and dine in.

"trash to treasure"

I have been watching a lot of the decorating programs on TLC. "Trash to Treasure" and "Decorating Cents" are my favorite. Yesterday, on Decorating Cents, a guy found an old basketball hoop rim in the dumpster. He spray painted it silver and put hooks on it. He turned it into a pots and pan rack for the kitchen. Doing that kind of stuff sounds fun to me. I think it is in my blood.

My grandfather was a "junker" when he retired. He went to auctions, bought items, fixed them, and sold them at the next auction. He had a workshop with all kinds of neat stuff lying around.

My parents love to go to garage sales. My mom has been buying wood pieces-furniture, shelves, and picture frames, and either paints, stains, or spray paints them to match her different rooms. This has been her new hobby since they moved into a new house.

I wish I had some time to do things like that.

"baby person"

I was talking to a lady at chuch who said that she was a "baby" person. She recently adopted two children and both were past the baby stage. She was upset by that because she enjoys the "baby" stage. She was looking forward to being awakened during the night. And loosing sleep. She told me that she would love to watch NJ anytime. Wow, I can't fathom wanting to go through the sleepless nights.

I realized that I am not a "baby" person. I can't wait until NJ can tell me what's wrong with him. I am more of a toddler person. I can't wait until NJ is running around saying and doing cute things. Although, I have been warned about the terrible two's.

I never enjoyed playing with baby dolls as a little girl. It never interested me to give a doll a bottle or change its diaper. I was given dolls, but they just sat on my toy shelf. I preferred stuffed animals. They were low maintenance. : )

Eating out and shopping

Dust and I have done a lot of eating out this past week. A lot of it had to do with his parents staying with us. We took his parents to Zarda's, Applebees, Sweet Tomatoes and Chipotle. Dust's mom cooked us a roast for Saturday supper. I felt like I should have been a better hostess and cooked more meals. But, I did just have a baby 4 weeks ago. And, they were here to help and see the baby.

Dust's parents left this afternoon. We decided to go shopping at Best Buy and Babies R Us. I used up a gift certificate. Dust didn't find what he wanted at Best Buy. He is going to order it online with his gift certificate. He wants an old X-box game that wasn't in the store. For supper we had Winstead's take out. The new orange cream shake is yummy!

help

I have a hard time asking people for help when I need it. I usually begin in denial that I actually need help. I always try to do things myself first. Then pride seeps in and I am unable to ask for help. I feel bad asking people for help. I hate to bother people.

As time goes on, I hope that somebody notices that I need help. If someone else sees the need and offers, I have no problem with accepting help. I am thinking back to when I was teaching Stars. I needed help and there were several people that noticed it. Many people would look into my class and say, "Golden, is there anyone helping you?" Sometimes my answer was, "Yes, they are chit-chatting down the hall." Anyway, I finally had to quit. I usually come to a breaking point with my need for help. I let it go too long, and become an emotional basketcase.

I really want to change. I am going to try to accept help. And accept that it is ok to ask for help. My help with the baby is arriving tonight. I know Grandma will be thrilled to hold NJ while I take a much needed nap. : )

over the weekend

NJ had his final weight check on Friday. I had to keep taking him to the doctor until he regained his birth weight. Last Monday he was 6 lb. 1 oz and Friday he was 6 lb. 4 oz. I am glad to be done with those doctor visits and glad that NJ is gaining weight.

Also on Friday we had a new front door installed. It looks a lot nicer than the wood door with the window we had. We also got a new storm door. The main door is stainless steel, white, with a silver doorknob. NJ slept through all the noise of putting the door in. He was fussy however when I had to pay the guy. A woman from church was over at the house and she held him for me. She had brought supper over for us and had come to sit with me for awhile.

Dust and I took NJ to Chipotle with us on Saturday for lunch. This was our first visit to a restaurant with the baby. We took the stroller in and pulled it up by our table. We also took NJ to Home Depot with us. On Sunday, NJ got to go to Target. We were down to one diaper left!

please pray for my daddy

I got a call from my Mom around 5 pm today. She said that my Dad had been vomiting all day and had pain in his lower left back. They had a doctor appt. at 3 pm and a urinalysis showed that he is passing a kidney stone. My Dad was given a shot for the pain and was sent to the emergency room. My Mom said that the emergency room was packed. She wanted me to start praying. She said that she was unable to use her cell phone while there and that she would call me back later when they knew more.

It is 8:20 pm right now and I haven't heard from my mother yet. I will call soon and leave a voicemail because I am sure she had to turn her cell off. My father has never been admitted to the hospital before and he is very rarely sick at all. This is very weird. My Dad has hardly ever taken a sick day at work. I wish I could be with my family right now.

giving your kids attention

Dust and I just watched the movie "WinterPassing". It was very melancholy. It was about a girl whose parents were both authors. They neglected her growing up because they were both doing their own thing. The girl was an actress who desparately wanted attention. She slept around looking for the love that her father never gave her. The story was about her coming to terms with all of that after her mother passed away.

The story got me thinking about how important it is to give your children attention. The girl in the story complained to her father about how he never attended any of the plays she was in. I thought about how my parents went to every concert or play that my brother and I were in. They were very supportive of everything that we were involved in.

I know also that there needs to be a balance between "making your kids your life" and having a life (job, hobby, etc.) of your own. I know some stay at home moms make their children their life and that can be both good and bad. What happens when the kids are grown? The key is finding that balance.

building muscles

Yesterday and today I had to journey out of the house with the baby by myself. I had practiced getting NJ in the car seat and loading the car seat in and out of the base. I didn't have any problems in that area though. The hard part was carrying the car seat from the car to the doctor's building. NJ had a doctor appointment yesterday and I had one today. The parking lot was packed and both times I had to park out farther than I have ever had to in the past. My doctor commented to me that I would be building muscles that I never knew that I could have with carting the baby around. I said that I really should be building my muscles anyway.

I didn't do much exercising while I was pregnant and I am supposed to be taking it easy right now. I have noticed that I have lost all muscle tone in my legs. My legs are basically skin and bones now that I am not swollen from pregnancy. I think my whole body is in lethargy. I want to slowly get my strength up again.

Regarding the car seat---I should have put it in the stroller. Duh! It didn't occur to me until I saw another lady with her car seat/stroller in the doctor office. It would have been hard to maneuver up the steps to the building though. I always seem to make things harder for myself. : )

learning as we go

Dust and I have had some sleepless nights this week with little NJ. The night of the 4th I got maybe 2 hours of combined sleep. Last night was a whole lot better though. I slept for a few hours after Dust got back from Homers. Then I took the next shift so Dust could go to sleep. If I can get at least 2 or 3 solid hours at a time, I can deal with things much better.

Here are some things that I realized this week:

• Our friends were right about not being able to complete a tv show or movie without being interrupted by cries, dirty diapers, you name it!
• I totally understand the family bed thing now. NJ slept with us in bed one night. I had made up my mind before he was born that we would not do that.
• Always get a burp cloth on before you start burping the baby. : )
• The vibrating baby bouncer is a good bowel stimulator for baby. (He had gone over 24 hours with no poopy diaper)
• There are some weird tv shows on at 3 am. Last night the science channel had a show about a hick town were people were turning into zombies.

another false start

I went to the hospital last night with contractions happening every 5 minutes. I had been timing them for over 2 hours so I was pretty confident in calling my doctor. I was given the go ahead to be admitted to check my progress.

Dust and I had been spending some time with his college roommate. We had a nice sized dinner at Chili's. I had a sirloin steak. We had some ice cream later at Dairy Queen. I was distracted during our social time because I was timing my contractions every 5 minutes. We had to cut the evening short with Dust's roommate.

I started having lower back pain. It made me think that maybe this is the real thing. My dilation was checked and I was at 3 cm. The nurse told me to walk around the hallway for 40 minutes and she would check me again. So, from 12 midnight to 12:40 am, Dust and I walked the floors of the maternity wing. Unfortunately when I was checked again, I was still at 3 cm. The nurse told me to go home, take a shower, and get some rest. So, here we are in the waiting game again. I am supposed to call the doctor back when I have contractions that take my breath away. I shouldn't be able to talk through my contractions. The doctor still thinks I am going to have the baby sometime before the 4th of July, though.

Have a good 4th of July everybody!!! and think of me possibly going into active labor at some point.

striking a chord

Do you ever have a quote or message from a movie stick with you the next week after watching it? Kind of like how something from a sermon will strike a chord with you. I seem to grow more personally and spiritually by quotes/themes/messages in movies. Here are a couple that I have been thinking about recently.

I watched the "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" yesterday. Lena reflected about how two people in her life who had lost a parent at a young age seemed to have so much love to give to others. Lena realized that she had lost nothing and yet held back on loving others. I realized that I hold back on loving others also. It is hard for me to tell people that I love them.

In the movie "Underworld: Evolution", Selene made a comment to Alexander about how he could have killed his son before his son got that evil. Alexander had just been stabbed by his son Marcus and was about to die. Alexander said that he couldn't kill his own son. It made me think of how we might "kill" Jesus with the things that we do yet He will not harm us. With me having a son on the way, I can't imagine harming him no matter what he does.

Choices

I have always tried to make wise decisions throughout my life. Growing up I was always worried about screwing my life up by making bad choices. I would hear family members talk about other people or other family members and how they had messed up their lives by either drinking, smoking, drugs, pre-marital sex, being an unwed mother, dropping out of college, not going to college, not keeping a steady job, etc.

At this point in my life, I can say that I have no regrets. I have a college degree, a wonderful husband, an ok job, a house, and a baby on the way. Nobody has really disagreed with my decisions. I know that it is inevitable that some day my family or friends will disagree with my choices. Most likely it will be with how I raise my children. I know that it will be very hard for me to have an opposing opinion on how I should run my life.

If I disagree with a choice someone has made in their personal life, I usually don't say anything. Who am I to judge what is right for them? I don't like to get into debates with people so I never start anything. It is probably bad that nobody ever knows how I truly feel about a subject. Only Dust knows my true opinions. Maybe that is how things should be.

the waiting game

I will be full term-37 wks starting this Sunday. So, I am in the waiting mode right now. My hospital bags are packed and all the baby stuff is in place. I feel like I have been playing the waiting game for the last 3 wks with the false labor scare. It is starting to get real old.

I don't feel comfortable being at work anymore knowing that I could go into labor any time now. Today I was having about 2 0r 3 contractions per hour and that got me worried. I was the only one in the office. (My boss was out of town and my coworker was at a Quickbooks class) I was trying to get some work done at my desk and didn't really have a good place to put my feet up. I rested them on the computer tower underneath my desk. I am going to talk to my boss tomorrow about wanting my last day to be Monday. I really don't want to work much next week.

I didn't want to blog about my pregnancy again. I have had a one track mind lately focused on the baby. I couldn't think of anything else to write about. I can hardly think straight at all anymore. I am getting some major bags under my eyes also!

remembering a friend

A friend from college called me a few days ago. I have been thinking back about the fun times we had together. We used to work together cleaning the Academic Building. It was a work study job. You would pick a partner and pick a floor to clean. Everybody wanted the third floor because the science labs obviously didn't have carpet to vacuum. Anyway, once we were done cleaning we would find a place to hide to goof off until time to clock out.

We would find another one of our friends that we worked with and we would prank call people at the dorms. I had never realized that prank calling could be such fun. We would laugh about the stupidest things. Our friend Sonya would call people and say that their llama was running around her room and to come get it. I may have mentioned this on a previous post, but the three of us would take a poop at the same time once the bathrooms had been cleaned. We thought that was hilarious!

This friend was also a good friend of Dust's. She hung out with us a lot when Dust and I first started dating. She can be very blunt sometimes, and that always made me laugh. We loved being lazy together. One of the first conversations I had with her and Dust was about the "process" of getting ready for bed. Dust said he hated getting ready for bed because of having to brush his teeth and change clothes, etc. I told them the same thing--that it took me too long to get ready for bed. Our friend said that she just plopped into bed without doing any of those things. She didn't change clothes or wash her face or brush her teeth. We got a good laugh out of that.

new restaurants

Dust and I went to a pizza place that we had never been to before on Saturday. It was called Stonewall Pizza and it wasn't too far of a drive from our house. The restaurant was in an old house. There was another house next door that was a restaurant called Stonewall Inn. They served BBQ. In front of the pizza place was several picnic tables. The majority of the customers ate outside. It was a real cute mom and pop type business. They served New York style pizza by the slice or by the pie. The combo came with a side salad, drink, and slice of pizza for $5.50. That's what Dust and I got. It tasted good and it wasn't greasy or oily like some pizzas can be.

We tried out RJ's BBQ or Bob-B-Que today with friends. I had had the meat once before but not the whole meal deal. My burnt ends sandwhich was pretty good. The cheesy corn bake serving was very small though. I still like Jack Stack and KC Masterpiece better, but this was a nice cheaper alternative. And without a waiting line.

back to work

Yesterday my doctor took me off bed rest and said I could go back to work. I have to admit that I was a little dissappointed--I was enjoying being at home. Anyway, I went back to the grindstone today. My co-worker had a list of questions and problems for me to answer. We went through each mistake, so now she knows how to deal with it in the future.

I was hoping for a stress-free day. My co-worker is behind on doing my daily tasks. (which is now her tasks) I usually get all the invoicing done on Fridays. She only got half of it done on Friday and finished it yesterday. My boss did the bank reconciliation today and had some questions for me. I told them both that I only could work three or four hours and I ended up working five & 1/2. I was weary and having a hard time staying awake. I finally got out of there and went home to crash on the couch. I had been napping for about five minutes when I got a phone call. My co-worker had another question that my boss wanted answered immediately. I know that I have explained to her how to fix the problem several times. She has even written it down in her notes. The extent of the solution in Quickbooks is Edit, delete payment. How hard is that? My co-worker had entered a deposit twice.

I am hoping for a more relaxing day tomorrow. But, I won't hold my breath.

the last few days

I have somewhat enjoyed my time at home these last few days. Despite going to the bathroom every 30 min. to an hour and the occasional contraction. I have watched a couple of movies--The Family Stone and In Her Shoes. I finished my thank-you cards from the baby shower. I have even opened the baby's gifts and organized them in his room.

Dust went to the grocery store for the first time without me yesterday. I made a list for him and tried to put the items in order according to the layout of the store. He called me three times while he was at the store with questions. "What is the sour cream for, and what size of container should I buy?" "What flavor of hot pockets do you want?" "There isn't a Dove brand deodorant in travel size is the Secret brand ok?" He did a good job though with buying groceries.

Dust did a great job doing the laundry, getting the trash together and taking it out, and mowing the lawn. He even had time to relax on the recliner with his laptop. I didn't like the recliner. My belly was putting too much pressure on my back being reclined. I have been on the couch.

hospital stay

If you have read Dust's blog, then you know that I was in the hospital yesterday. I have never been admitted to a hospital before. It can be scary. Especially, when they ask questions like, "Do you have a living will?" Or, "Are you an organ donor?" I know those are just routine questions, but still.

I realized yesterday that you really have to take your own life into your hands. The squeeky wheel gets the grease. I had a hard time convincing two nurses on the phone that I was having contractions every 5 minutes. They said it was just Braxton Hicks and just wrote me off. I finally got an appointment and the nurse said, "Wow, it was just like you said." You really are having contractions every 5 minutes." "Duh," is my immediate thought. It was interesting being hooked up to a fetal monitor. The baby's heartbeat was fine. The graph that showed my contractions had consistant spikes every 5 minutes. The good thing through all of this was that I had not dialated. Because I was not going into active labor, the hospital released me after about 4 hours. I was dehydrated and I have a UTI, so that is the likely cause of contractions.

I am on bed rest until Monday. My doctor will re-evaluate me then. I can do light activity around the house. I plan on finalizing my hospital bag with everything. I am glad that I will probably have a little more time to get prepared for baby. There was a real chance that I could have had the baby yesterday. The nurses had prepared me mentally for that scenerio.

Keep me in the little one in your prayers!

is it or isn't it. it is.

I found out something today that kinda surprised me. My doctor asked me if I had been having any Braxton Hicks contractions. I told her that I didn't know. She said that I was probably having them without knowing it. She looked at my belly and said that I was having one right then. I had thought that it was just the baby stretching out. Apparently not.

It kinda scares me that I didn't realize that I was having a contraction. I am glad that it happened at my appt. because otherwise I would still be clueless. I had noticed my belly tighten at times though. I just thought the baby was growing or sticking his butt out at me. I enjoyed the thought that my son might be mooning me. : )

My doctor now thinks that I will have no trouble having the baby on my own (no inducing) around the first week of July. She thinks I will most likely be two weeks early. She didn't use the words that the baby has dropped, but she said that his head is probably as low as it can get right now. And she said that means that I would probably have the baby in four weeks. Wow.

showered

I was showered with baby gifts yesterday. Our church has a baby shower for all moms on the first child that they have while attending the church. I felt really thankful for all the efforts put into the shower, the gifts, and the love and support from friends. I was humbled by the number of women that did attend the shower. Not to mention the many gifts there that were from women that could not attend. I have verbally thanked a lot of people and I will also send out thank-you cards.

It seems like this summer is filled with wedding and baby showers at our church. It can really put a crunch on your budget/finances. I kinda feel bad about accepting gifts because I know it can be a great sacrifice.

Thanks to T, Wah-Wah, and Vernal for everything they did for me and gave to me!

jell-o fruit salad

Does anybody actually eat the jell-o fruit salads that you find at the beginning of a cafeteria style buffet restaurant? I know my grandparents do and sometimes my parents will get the fruit salad. Do people in my generation eat the fruit salad?

I was thinking about this recently because my new co-worker eats a jell-0 fruit salad almost every day. It looks like she makes it herself in individual tupperware servings. Every day she has a different flavor of jell-0 along with various fruits. I have seen pecans and something that looks like cottage cheese in one of her salads. When I look at the jell-o salad it makes me want to puke. It does not look appetizing at all. It actually looks like something someone threw-up. There are items in the salad that I cannot identify.

My co-worker asked me if there were certain foods that made me sick/throw-up with my pregnancy. I wanted to say, "Well, your jell-o salad makes me want to throw-up just looking at it."

productive weekend

I love it when I can get a lot accomplished in a weekend. It's hard getting errands done on weeknights. We both are usually wiped out. Not to mention that we both like to be lazy. There is usually only one thing that can motivate me to get things done around the house---having company over.

We invited some people over for a BBQ at our house Sunday night. In preparation for company, I spent more time on house improvements than on the actual food prep. I wanted the nursery to be more complete, so I washed the crib bedding. We put the crib sheet on the mattress which was a feat in and of itself. The fitted sheet was extremely fitted. I put the bumper and bed skirt on. I had Dust take a big free standing mirror out of the room. In the kitchen, we replaced the trays under the oven burners. They were really nasty looking. We still need to replace the actual coil burner on the back left. I accidentally melted some plastic on it a long time ago and have just never used that burner.

Dust spent a couple of hours Saturday mowing the lawn and weedwacking. It was really humid out which slowed him down a little. Our lawn mower is in the shop getting fixed, so he borrowed a mower from a co-worker. It's smaller than ours, and he has to bag more frequently. Dust also hosed down the patio furniture and most of the siding on the house. It was covered with dirt and bird poop. We also finally put up the umbrella on our patio furniture. The base to it was hollow, so we had to buy some sand to put in it to weigh it down.

We did the routine cleaning around the house. Vacuum, mop, dust, clean kitchen counters. But before that happened though, Dust made his famous potato salad. He loves making it! I almost didn't want him to because of all the dishes he would dirty in the process. And it is such a process!

Everything turned out well and we had a fun party! Not to mention a lot of leftover hamburgers and hot dogs!

contrasting personalities

Monday night Dust and I took a tour of the maternity wing of the hospital. There was a group of couples seated in the lobby of the hospital and every woman was pregnant. I assumed that we were in the right place. Our tour guide (the night pre-admin nurse) arrived and boy was she loopy! She was over the top cheerful and cheesy. As we all got into the elevator, I laughed to myself. I was thinking, "How many pregnant women and spouse's can you fit into an elevator?" That could be the start of a good joke. In our case, it was 10 people total.

The tour guide talked like she should be reading a fairy tale to a bunch of kids. I couldn't get over the way she was acting. Mostly in part because her personality was the exact opposite of the other pre-admin nurse that we had dealt with the week before. There is a day shift pre-admin nurse and a night shift pre-admin nurse. The day nurse that I did our paperwork with was extremely sarcastic and jaded. Very pessimisstic, but still kinda funny in her own way. She was ticked because the night pre-admin nurse had misspelled our last name. Now that I have met both of them, I really wonder how they can work together. I guess that is way they have alternating shifts. : )

Red Robin

Dust and I tried out a new restaurant this weekend. Red Robin. I had never heard of them before, but Dust had. The atmosphere was nice and the place is kid friendly. One thing that stuck out to me was that the majority of the servers/hosts were young teenagers. The hostess led me to the table and told me that Monday nights are kids nights. Then she felt stupid and embarrassed for telling me that. Well, she could tell that I have a bun in the oven, but obviously I had no other kids with me. It didn't bother me. Our teenage girl server was very odd. A couple of times she just stood at our table without saying anything at first. After a minute, she would say, "Oh, would you like a re-fill?"

I did enjoy my gourmet cheeseburger and steak fries. I had the speckled lemonade in a cool twisted glass cup. "Speckled" just means that it had strawberries in it. After she brought me my drink, I was worried that people might think I was drinking an alcoholic beverage while pregnant. I hid my glass behind the cardboard stand- up menu.

Training your elders

Training two women that are old enough to be my mother at work has been an interesting experience for me. Both of the women are entrepreneurial types. They have both had many more years of experience than me in an office environment. They both have had ideas on the way things should be done. This has been extremely frustrating to me. I have had a hard time keeping my patience.

The first lady quit, so now I have been training the new lady. She has been full of questions! She talks non-stop! It drives me crazy! She has dominated the training time. I have to keep saying that for time's sake, just watch me do it and listen to me. Her questions have not been pertaining to the issue or task at hand. She likes to show me how she used to do it. Or tell me a better/quicker way to do it. I have told her that this is the way my boss trained me and he has the final say in the mattter. I think she got the picture.

On a personal level though, I do like her. She is a christian and we have both talked about our churches. We have taken some time here and there to get to know each other better.

Both ladies have told me that I have been a good teacher. I have wondered if they were just being nice. But, they didn't have to say that at all.

Another thing that the women had in common was that they never gave birth to children. I wanted to ask if it was a matter of fertility. The first lady had a step-son that was 18 years old. She had married his father when the son was only one year old. The new lady told me that she divorced her first husband and that they just never got around to having any kids. Her second husband and her got married later in life. I have felt guilty about being excited about my pregnancy around them. I tried to only talk about it when they brought it up and asked me questions. They both seemed genuinely happy for me.

Crib

Dust put together the baby crib yesterday. He started before the Survivor finale, took a break to watch the shows, and finished it late last night. I was really excited that he took this initiative on his own. I had scheduled for him to put it together this coming Saturday.

I think the wood color and design matches well with the rocking chair. A mobile came with the crib and it has three bear stuffed animals attached to it. I think I will keep it up for now. I probably would have preferred a plane or train mobile.

We need to go and buy the mattress for the crib. It kind of slipped my mind because we were so concerned about getting the crib box and changing table box out of Target.

Now, Dust just has the changing table to put together. : )

aaah!

I have the same feelings about my house that Seminole does about hers. And since T brought up whining, I am in the mood to whine. I am really exhausted! I can't remember the last time that I cleaned the house. It has been that long. I haven't vacuumed in around two-three weeks. I want my house to be cleaned and organized but I just don't have the energy.

I have been working more hours than usual because I am training yet another person to do my job when I am on maternity leave. It is taking me longer to get my job done. I hate being behind on my work. There is no way that I am going to get everything done this week and I am just going to have to accept that.

I had a dr. appt. on Monday and I have another one tomorrow. I have another one next Tuesday and another one the following Tuesday! (pediatrician consultation, pre-admission for hospital, another sonogram)

I feel overwhelmed with everything that needs to get done before the baby gets here. I need to have a really good cry, get over it, and plug on. Thanks for letting me whine. I wish that made me feel better.

outside of our comfort zone

Dust and I went to a breast-feeding class on Saturday that was 3 and 1/2 hours long! I apologize in advance if this makes some people uncomfortable. We were definitely uncomfortable during the class. The lady that taught the class seemed a little too excited about the subject. She was extremely loopy. She had a fake stuffed breast that she demonstrated on by putting it right on top of her own breast. She used a balloon to demonstrate how the different breast pumps worked. I was surprised that the balloon didn't pop.

The teacher passed around different styles of nursing bras for the class to look at. It was funny because the husbands handed them to their wives without looking at it. She also passed around "Soothies" for us to look at. They are jelly like inserts to relieve soreness.

We saw pictures of inverted and engorged nipples. It was disturbing looking at so many pictures of nipples. The pictures were of the teacher's patients. These women actually volunteered to have themselves photographed for a slide show that would be used for years to come!

We practiced holding baby dolls the correct way. At least I learned something there. Dust even had to practice with the doll too!

There were a lot of funny jokes and comics that were in the teacher's powerpoint presentation. That helped everyone deal with this embarrassing subject. We really needed some comic relief.
Got Milk?

finding the right card

I have found that it is hard to find a good mother's day card. I usually go to several stores before I find a decent one. Grocery stores never have any good cards. Last year I went cheap and bought the 50 cent mother's day cards at Deals. I didn't want to go that cheap again this year. Those cards were a little lame. Our mothers and grandmothers expect cards. My grandmother prefers the ones that say grandmother on them.

I hit the jackpot at Target. They have really good humorous selections. My mom has said that she wants the funny cards. I used to buy all of our grandmothers the same card. This year I tried to match their personality more. I was quite proud because I think I nailed it. It takes me awhile to find the right one for Dust's mom. Dust said that I made a good pick.

The prices for some of the cards that I saw were outrageous! There was a grandmother card for $4.99! It came with a bookmark. I try not to buy cards that are over $3. The cards I bought were $2.59, and $2.99. Not bad.

Out of the mouth of a boss

Actual quotes from real-life anal, OCD, narcissistic bosses. These are scenerios that happened in an office environment that I witnessed.

• (Boss in the office kitchen yelling to the receptionist sitting at her desk) Could you pull out the paper towel rolls to the front of the cupboard so I can see them? They were shoved to the back. (And why can't you take the few seconds to do it yourself?)
• "After putting each check in an envelope, walk to the mail drop with it. Don't make a stack of envelopes on your desk to take all at once to the mail drop." (Can we say ineffecient?)
• "Could you bring me a cup of coffee?"
• "Check your calculations on the calculator three times." (Is three the magic number?)
• "Run the dishwasher every afternoon, even if there is only one cup in it."
• "Please don't write on the desk without having something under your piece of paper."
• "Don't run the envelopes through the postage meter. Use the blank stickers provided by Pitney Bowes and run them through the machine."
• (on the phone with a Wendy's manager) "Your Wendy's burger gave me food poisoning. I want to file a complaint."
• "There is too much of a time delay before someone can leave me a voicemail after hearing my greeting." Phone technician says, "There is nothing we can do about that. The length of time is standard."
• "Order the Hinckly Springs bottled water cooler service. Make sure it is spring water. I can tell the difference. No mineral water."
• "Let me see the address label on the envelope to see if it matches the invoice address before you seal it and put it in the mail." (Do you think I am that incompetent?)

secret music

Does the sound of silence ever drive you insane? I never thought that it would but it has recently. Since our company moved into it's own office space, it has been extremely quiet. There is just three of us in the office. My boss is out of the office for the majority of the day. My co-worker and I decided that we needed music or something so that we wouldn't go insane.

Dust gave me the idea of using the Windows media icon to listen to the radio by internet. For the last few days, I have been listening to .977 the Mix. The best of '80's, '90's and today. My coworker has been listening to a "boomer" radio station. We haven't mentioned this to our boss though. He is very controlling and anal and most likely would not let us listen to anything.

Today, my boss left and said he would be back in 30. I immediately turned on my radio station. It had only been 20 when he came back. After he passed my office, I quickly turned the volume off on my speakers. I keep the volume down so low that you would have to be inside my office to hear it. It has been fun keeping our music secret. My co-worker said, "We are so bad."

test results

I came home from work today and saw that we had a message on the answering machine. It was my doctor's office. They gave me an 800 number to call to retrieve a message from my doctor. I guess doctors can't leave medical information on patients' answering machines anymore. I was a little nervous.

The doctor said that my glucose levels came back normal but the test showed that I was anemic. She said she could call in an iron prescription or I could just buy an over-the-counter iron supplement. I'm going for the over-the-counter option.

No wonder I've been so tired lately!

woes of pregnancy

I am trying not to talk about baby stuff on every post that I do. My pregnancy does consume most of my thoughts and actions throughout the day, though. Last night I had a hard time sleeping. I woke up at 2 am and found Dust still awake with the tv and laptop going. I was having heartburn. The baby is putting a lot of pressure now on my rib cage and sternum. I also haven't been able to sleep on my left side. My left hip really hurts and it makes my leg numb and tingly when I sleep on my side. I have decided that I can't sleep in the bed anymore like it is. I have tried two pillows but I don't think it's good enough. I am going to start trying to sleep on the couch or recliner and see how that works.

Monday morning I have to take the glucose tolerance test. I am not looking forward to it. I have always struggled with blood sugar problems. I am a little nervous about the outcome, but I know I can deal with it.

Our last childbirth class is Tuesday night!! We are going to talk about caesaren births. Last week we talked about epidurals. An epidural scares me a little. I do want some kind of pain medication though. I have a lot to think about. I have been doing a lot of reading about the subject.

Sequels

I recently watched the Prince & Me. It starred Julia Stiles as a pre-med major that falls in love with the Prince of Denmark. Dust started out watching it with me, but then got annoyed with the movie. I am always a sucker for the teeny bopper chick flicks. Someday I am going to have to grow up and stop watching them.

So, I received the sequel, The Prince & Me: The Royal Wedding. It was next on our queue at Blockbuster. It didn't even star Julia Stiles!! Why would you even bother with a sequel if the original actress is not in it? The chick that played her character was lame. I kept thinking the whole time that I liked Julia Stiles playing Paige Morgan better. This other chick couldn't pull of the "edginess" that Julia brought to the character. This chick was too "barbie doll." Now that I think about it, I don't remember the sequel in the theatres. It must have gone straight to video. That tells you something about the movie.

Topeka Trip

Dust and I took a trip to Topeka, KS this weekend. We needed to get away before we have the baby. Dust is also doing a post on our trip but don't worry it won't feel like a repeat. We are doing different pictures and stories. On Good Friday, we toured the KS state capitol building. There were two groups of elementary school students there on a field trip. We felt kinda weird being with the kids tour group. I usually blend in with groups of kids, but my pregnant belly distinguished myself apart from them. The guide talked in a little kid voice and taught them songs. We decided to leave the group and walk around on our own.

Saturday, we went to the Topeka zoo. All the animals were out and about. I think the weather made them all stir crazy because there was a chance for rain. There was a tropical rain forest exhibit inside of a dome. This blue peacock like bird flew out in front of me and landed. I screamed because it startled me. There were a couple of toucan like birds flying around also. It was a cool experience.

We were able to get really close to all the animals. I thought this picture of the hippo was neat. He had been floating around in the water and just decided to get up. Overall, the zoo was really small. We walked around the entire park and was done in an hour and a half. We even went around some areas twice to make sure we didn't miss a pathway to something else. We took our time also. I sat down on at least four benches throughout the park. I liked this zoo more than the KC one. I hate doing a lot of walking. : ) I will let Dust talk about the other things we did. I was very pleased with our little weekend vacation.

birthing video and massage

Last night was the "birthing video" night at our childbirth class. I was so thankful that they were not that graphic. It went through the story of three couples. All the women were covered up for the most part. When the baby was actually delivered, the camera was back far enough that you didn't see too much detail. None of the women were on a surgical table with stirrups. That was always my image of giving birth taken from television. The women were allowed to walk around and change positions frequently. And sitting on the toilet seemed to help some with the pushing part.

After watching the videos, we did some floor work. I sat down on our sleeping bag and Dust sat in a chair behind me. The other two couples there did the same thing. The instructor lead us through various massage techniques that the husband gave to his wife. It seemed a little weird after awhile. Kind of like a guided group make-out session without the kissing. We have been laughing about that situation since last night.

new foods

Last week I tried a food that I had never had before. I never grew out of my kid phase of thinking if the food looked gross it probably tasted gross. I had mentioned to my brother and his friend that I had never tasted shrimp before. I think all seafood looks gross. I was dared to try it and I usually give in to dares when pressured. The shrimp tasted like fatty chicken to me. Eating shrimp wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. Next, my brother's friend dared me to try squid. I told him no because it looked like an octupus. He said how about trying junior octupus. He pulled up a smaller version of the first one off of his plate onto mine. With some more pressure from my brother I gave in and ate it. I didn't quite care for it. I made a face and quickly ate something else to cover it up. I am proud that I tried both of those dishes. Who knows, I might order some shrimp at a restaurant in the future.

country music

I was craving some new music this past weekend. For some reason I have been getting into the music of Johnny Cash. When I told Dust, he said that he liked the song "Hurt." He showed me the music video of the song on his laptop. After seeing that, I bought the Legend of Johnny Cash CD.

I get excited to watch American Idol every week. I learn something new about music every time I watch because I was sheltered from "secular" music as a kid. I am learning what singer wrote/sang particular songs. The theme was country music this week on Idol. I have a question for the country music buffs out there. What does "walk the line" mean? I heard the lyrics, "Any man of mine, better walk the line." And of course the Johnny Cash song, "I walk the line." Does it mean going down the aisle and getting married?

I am planning on renting the movie "Walk the Line" soon.

proof of who you are

I have been considered an independent contractor at my work for the last two years, but now I am going to become an employee. I filled out my W-4 form. Dust asked me if they took a copy of my drivers license and social security card. He said that at every place that he has worked at they have made a copy of his drivers license and social security card. Not one of my previous/present employers have requested a copy. I could be lying about who I am and what my social security number is. It is either very trusting or very dumb that no employer of mine has ever asked me to prove who I am. Maybe if I looked foreign they might have requested ID.

I was just curious about everyone else's experiences. Have you had to show ID when starting a new job?

Visiting

My parents and my brother came to visit today. My brother's birthday was a few days ago and he wanted to go out to eat with the entire family. My mother doesn't want me to travel in a car to come see them until after the baby is born. She was very excited to see the size of my belly.

When my brother comes to see me, he also goes and visits a friend. This friend is in the nearby prison facilities. His friend, "Jon", got busted for drug dealing. He took a longer sentence in order to be in a better facility. My brother is doing a great ministry by visiting his friend in prison. I keep thinking about the verse about the sheep and the goats in Matthew. "I was in prison and you came to visit me." "Jon" was a close friend of my brother's in high school. My brother noticed that "Jon" had an A/G quarterly at school and went to talk to him. They were co-speakers together at their H.S. graduation. "Jon's" life really went downhill after that.

My brother always wants to eat at BD's Mongolian BBQ when he is here. That is also my favorite restaurant so that works out well. I enjoyed the visit with my family. We had some good laughs and good food.

"I'm still the baby"

I came across the scene to the right just a few minutes ago. I went into the baby's room and turned on the light to find some more hangers in the closet. To my surprise, Autum was sitting comfortably in the car seat stroller. Is she trying to tell me something? I have been telling her the last few months that she isn't the baby anymore. I have a strong feeling there is going to be some jealousy issues.

I keep going back and forth on whether or not to keep Autum. I had my mind set many months ago that I needed to get rid of her. It is becoming harder and harder now to giver her up. However, I am afraid she will get on top of the baby and suffocate it. I worry about this because she sleeps on my head almost every night, but I am able to move my head. A baby can't. Aah! What do I do? Does anybody want a cat?

My weekend

Friday night Dust and I watched the movie Elizabethtown. I enjoyed the story. And also the actors: Orlando Bloom, Kirsten Dunst, Susan Sarandon. Dust usually watches one of his movies after we have watched an "us" movie. I went to bed and he watched Doom.

Saturday Dust did some touch-up painting on the baby's room. I was very anxious to get the wallpaper border on. I decided to hang it on the middle of the wall. We have never put up wallpaper before, so it was a new experience for both of us. It was prepasted which made it easier. Dust has a very good eye for lining things up straight. We marked on the walls with a pencil on where we wanted it. I let him guide and position the paper while I helped hold it up. I am very pleased with the outcome. We watched yet another movie Saturday night. Shanghai Noon with Owen Wilson, Jackie Chang, and Lucy Lui. I liked it more than I thought I would. I tend to like some western movies because I was predisposed to them by my father.

Sunday morning we went to two Sunday School classes instead of going to the main worship service. The parenting class was interesting even though we haven't experienced parenting yet.

Sounds like an uneventful weekend. At least we accomplished getting the painting/wallpaper done. And watched some movies.

the "new" smell

The company I work for moved into its new office suite last week. When you walk in the door, you can smell the "new" smell. The space was newly renovated and all furniture and appliances are new. I have a new chest of drawers for hanging file folders and a new desk. I also have a 15 inch flat screen monitor and a Dell computer. There are new black leather chairs in the waiting area and also the conference room. The kitchen has a new black dishwasher and fridge. Black is the common theme throughout the office.

It has been fun putting new office supplies in the new furniture. I filled my desk drawer with pens, notepads, white-out, highlighters, paperclips and etc. It was also fun organizing what files go in what drawers. The fridge was filled with pop and water. There are actual dishes in the kitchen cabinets that we can use.

I think I have learned how to use all the new gadgets. Most office phone systems are similar. The copier looks like any other copier that I have used. The Pitney Bowes postage meter was real simple to use.

Today we had Quickbooks 2006 installed in our computers. Now I have new software to learn. It operates the same as the older version, but has more cool features. Also, I can now fax from my computer without having to get out of my seat! I am definitely getting spoiled.

"The Benchwarmer"

I saw previews last night for the new movie "The Benchwarmer." Dust said to come to the tv because I would probably like this movie because Jon Heder from Napoleon Dynamite is in it. I did like what I saw.

I then told Dust that I was a benchwarmer also. I played on a softball team in sixth grade. It was extremely embarrassing because I was consistently the benchwarmer alongside with the girl from special ed. The special ed girl, Paula, always made me play catch with her before the game. She threw really weird and I always had trouble catching the ball. That made me look even worse as a player. She was left handed which maybe contributed to my problem in catching the ball.

There was one game that I actually got to play in because a lot of girls were absent. I covered third base. To everyone's surprise, I actually caught a fly ball hit to me which gave the other team an out! I did ok covering third base also. I hope the coach felt bad about leaving me on the bench all season.

"Silly Old Bluebirds"

I struggled a bit on what color to paint the baby's room. I was going back in forth between "Bibbidi Bobbodi Blue," "Blustery Day" and "Silly Old Bluebirds." These were the names of the Disney brand paint colors to describe a sky/periwinkle blue. Dust was a bit sarcastic about the names. I settled on "Silly Old Bluebirds" and I am glad that I did. It looks like it will go well with the wallpaper border I bought.

Dust and I were a great team in painting the room. I did some of the rolling with the bigger paint rollers and Dust came behind me with a brush and did the borders. My sinuses were so bad that I couldn't really smell the paint. We opened the window and had the ceiling fans going for air circulation. I was a little nervous about painting because people have mixed opinions on whether you should paint when you are pregnant. The mothers that I talked to had painted their babies' rooms when they were pregnant.

It didn't take us long to get the room painted. I think we officially started painting at 11 am on Saturday and Dust finished around 3:45 pm. We still have to put the wallpaper border on. I thought we should give the room time to dry out before we did that.

A-choo!

Dust told me this morning that I sneeze pretty loud. It is not a normal sneeze. It is a big production of AAA-choooo! I admit that I did put a bit of drama into it. It feels a lot better to do that than to try to hold it in. I have been battling a cold since last Saturday. Yesterday it felt like it turned into really bad allergies. I have been so miserable I can hardly stand it. I feel like I need to whine and complain about it. : ) I told Dust that I wanted to stay in my bad mood. He sorta told me to take my bad mood to another room.

You might be a redneck...

My mom and I were looking through some old pictures about a month ago. I came across one that really cracked me up. It was a picture of my Dad's birthday party. I was about 3 1/2 and my brother was about 1 1/2 years old. All three of us are sitting around the kitchen table with no shirts on. My mom was the one that took the picture. It probably was a hot day that September. Dad was holding up his homemade birthday cake. The picture looked so white trash to me. We were poor but happy.

If you sit around the kitchen table without a shirt on at a birthday party......you might be a redneck.

Anger management

Have you ever wanted to yell, "I quit," to your boss? I think most people have that fantasy at least once in their life. I know I scared Dust when I told him that's what I wanted to yell at my former boss and supervisor. It also scared him when I would say that I could really chew somebody out right now.

I have a tendency to bottle up anger inside of me. Sooner or later it all comes out at once. When I get angry, I prepare what I am going to say ahead of time. Sometimes that helps me to calm down. Today, I was angry and had my angry speech all prepared. If my boss happened to mention something again, I was going to tell him how I felt. He didn't bring it up and I didn't either.

I made a stupid decision today at work. When I realized how stupid it was, I immediately called my boss. He always wants me to call him on his cell if anything important happens. I told him what I did, explained that I wasn't thinking clearly, and apologized. He was really angry, which I could see why. What made me mad was that he didn't really accept my apology. If someone admits a mistake to me and apologizes, I would say I accept your apology or that's ok, I understand. He probably thinks I am a complete idiot. It's just the pregnancy hormones because I haven't been able to think clearly at all lately.

Accents

I like listening to people who talk with an accent. I get a real kick out of the southern accent. There are two contestants on American Idol that talk with a deep southern accent. I believe they are from Kentucky or Tennessee. Kelly Pickler couldn't pronounce calamari and had never eaten it before. Bucky wanted his sweet tea. He said he didn't understand the menus in Hollywood. The only things he recognizes on the menu is vegetables and rice. They call their mashed potatoes "smashed potatoes". Crack me up!

I heard so many different accents in college. E.U. had students from all over the U.S. What surprised me the most was when people said that I had an accent. I realized that I have a tendency to hold out vowel sounds in words. Dust laughs when I say the word cement. Think of how the "Beverly Hillbillies" pronounce their "cement pond" in the backyard. That is how I say it.

I have some relatives that live in Michigan and I always enjoy talking with them on the phone. They do not hold out the vowel sounds at all. My grandfather who is still living resides in Michigan. He likes to go fishing a lot. I crack up when he pronounces the type of fish called croppie. He says crappie. It makes me laugh because he is a minister and some people consider the word crap as a cuss word.

another one bites the dust (not referring to my hubby)

I tried to put on a pair of pants yesterday only to find out that I can't zip them anymore. In some ways that is exciting because that means the baby is getting bigger inside of me. The not so exciting part is that is one more pair of pants that I can't wear anymore. Not to brag, but I don't ever remember not being able to fit in a pair of pants. I must have had that experience as a child or teenager, but I don't remember it. I remember having pants that were too short for me. I know that's hard to believe that I would have outgrown the length. I don't remember not being able to zip up a pair of pants anymore. It is an interesting change.

I always liked having new clothes each school year growing up. I must have gotten rid of the clothes before I outgrew them. Looking back at that it seems a bit shallow. If there was an outfit that I had worn the year before, I usually didn't wear it that often. Now, I can't afford to have a new wardrobe each year.

I have started separating my closet into clothes I can and cannot wear anymore. I know I shouldn't get rid of the clothes I can't wear. I will probably fit back into them by the end of the year.

another year older

My parents came up to visit for my birthday this weekend. We took them to Nebraska Furniture Mart since they had never been. My mom was looking for a blue foot stool and a western type picture. It had been awhile since I had been there. We also went to Cabela's. My Dad enjoyed the tent sale of 75% clearance. He bought some coverralls.

For supper we went to George Brett's on the Plaza. We walked around and went into some stores before we ate. I had a KC strip sandwhich that was really good. I had a birthday cake and cookie at home that we had for dessert. I received some nice presents--pajamas, necklaces, a shrug, maternity tee shirt, baby photo album, and DVD's. The best present was being able to spend time with my family. It really meant a lot to me.

My parents left Sunday morning to go back home. They had to get prepared for preaching and doing the song service for the retirement home that night. We ate at Planet Sub with some friends after church. I wanted to get my free sub for my birthday!

I teased Dust this morning about having a wife that is almost two years his senior. This is the time of year that I feel old and it lasts until Dust's birthday.

liar, liar, pants on fire!

It is true that if you tell a lie and don't confess, then you have to keep telling more lies to cover up the first lie. I have always been embarrassed about how small I am. Everybody always used to make a big deal about it. If someone found out how much I weighed, I would never hear the end of it. So, I started lying about my weight around 6th grade. Sometimes I would add about ten pounds.

The weight issue came up when I got my first driver's license at age 16. The license bureau just takes your word for how much that you weigh. They don't put you on a scale. I lied about my weight on my driver's license by about 5 pounds. Three years later when my license came due, I had to lie again to cover up from the previous lie. I wish I could say that the lying has ended but it hasn't. Two weeks ago, I went to get my driver's license renewed again. The man at the license bureau asked me, "Are you still 102 pounds?" I thought to myself, "I am not that now." He isn't going to believe that I haven't gained a pound in six years. So, I added a few pounds and told him that I was 105. I figure that I will be that weight soon enough and who knows, I might not be able to loose the baby weight that I get.

new office suite and new hire

The company that I work for shares office space with an accounting firm. My boss thought it was time that we get our own office suite. Right now we share a receptionist with the accounting firm. When we get our own suite, we will have to hire our own receptionist. Also, when I take a maternity leave someone will have to do my job.

We were lucky enough to find some space for rent in the building that we currently work. My boss loves the deli on the first floor and he doesn't want to leave it. We are renting a suite on the 6th floor and it is getting renovated as we speak. I will have my very own office! I have never had that before. We will probably move in at the beginning of April.

My boss hired a lady to be our receptionist and to learn my job. She has worked with us two days so far and she is quite interesting. One of the first questions she asked me was: "Was your pregnancy planned or an accident?" I was shocked because I would never even ask my good friends that question! I told her planned. She likes to chat a lot and is very outgoing. She is the exact opposite of me, but I think we can work together fine. I am going to enjoy how my boss reacts to her in the future. He is obsessive compulsive and anal about how things are done. When she was helping me put checks into envelopes, she was making a stack of them on the floor. I looked at my boss and could tell that he was cringing inside. She was also just tossing the check stubs on his desk, and he likes them lined up in corresponding order. I think they might clash. I did give her the heads up on his OCD once he had left for the day.

It's a Boy!!!

Dust and I are having a baby boy!! I kinda knew it was a boy and told people early on that that's what I thought. We got 14 ultrasound pictures of the baby!! There is one that has an arrow that is pointing to it's private parts. The lady performing the ultrasound hasn't been wrong about the sex of the baby for 11 years. I think we can be confidant that it is a boy. We spent about 30 minutes in the ultrasound room looking at the baby from all different views. It is one active child!! It moved positions about 3-4 times during that 30 minutes. Dust and I might have a handful with an active boy on our hands!

Stay tuned....

Dust and I are supposed to find out if we are having a boy or a girl on Tuesday, February 14th at 2:30 pm. It is Valentine's Day, so I know that you all will have better things to do than check the blogs. Hopefully, I will have time before 5 pm to post the results. I can't wait!!!

outward appearances

We had a card in our door from KC Florist.com when we got back late Tuesday night from my grandfather's funeral. The card said that they delivered our flowers to a neighbor's house because we were not home. What kind of a crazy deal is that? Someone could have a dishonest neighbor and say that they didn't receive any flowers.

When I left for work on Wednesday, I drove slow to find the address that they delivered our flowers to. It was two houses down from us. I cringed when I saw what house it was because I am scared of those neighbors. The man has a shaved bald head, earrings, tattoos and usually has a mean look on his face. The woman is a chain smoker in her garage and is constantly on her cell phone. She always has a mean look on her face and always goes inside her house when I drive by.

When I got home from work, I debated on whether or not I should go over to their house. I could hear my mother's voice in my head. "Do not go to a stranger's house alone without Dust. It's too dangerous." Dust doesn't come home after work on Wednesdays because he has a class. I called Dust and asked him what I should do. We decided that we would wait until Thursday so he could go with me.

I was sitting in the recliner watching "Lost" on Wednesday night when the doorbell rang. I still had my work clothes on, but was wearing a robe over them because I was cold. For some reason I knew that I shouldn't change into my pajamas that night. I got scared and ran to a window. I couldn't see a car. I knew the person could hear the tv. My mommy always told me not to open the door to strangers, especially at night. I decided to look through the door window and ask, "Can I help you?" I saw my scary neighbor holding a vase of flowers. I opened the door and told him I appreciated him bringing them over. He didn't sound scary at all. He seemed rather nice. I guess I shouldn't judge people on the outward appearance.

thoughts

I have a lot of thoughts about these last couple of days regarding my grandfather's funeral. I don't want to bore anyone with the details. I also don't want to air all the dirty laundry for all of blogland to see. Here are some random thoughts in bullet form.

• Don't waste years holding anger inside of you. Forgive and forget. It is easier said than done. : ) Reconcile relationships with family.
• Seize the day! Do whatever it is that you have always wanted to do.
• Don't do things under obligation. Get out of things that you don't want to be in.
• Tell your loved ones that you love them.
• There really needs to be a funeral director that directs "traffic" at the coffin at the viewing. There has to be a better system. Maybe the family shouldn't stand at the coffin to greet people. They should stand at the doorway.
• A funeral home employee was at the gravesite after the funeral to catch people that had not signed the guestbook the night before. There was no one else around and I asked her if relatives could sign the book now. I didn't get a chance to sign it the night before. She told me that I could sign it later once we got the book back. How rude! I couldn't believe that she wouldn't let me sign it. Not even ten minutes later, my mother hollars for me to come and sign the book. My father was signing it and he handed it to me. I signed it and handed it back to the lady. I bet she felt stupid.

grief and selfishness

My nerves have been really bad today. I can't seem to calm down. I received a phone call this morning from my mom and she had bad news. My grandfather died this morning. He collapsed in the bathroom and paramedics couldn't revive him. He had been battling cancer off and on for the last few years. The cancer began in his prostate. He underwent treatments and was fine for almost two years. Last November he had radiation treatments for cancer cells in a different part of his body. About a month ago, the doctors found a cancerous tumor on his spine. My grandfather had recently finished radiation treatments for that tumor. In some ways his death was a surprise and in some ways it wasn't.

I was also feeling really selfish today when I found out that his funeral is Tuesday at 2 pm. I had been looking forward for Tuesday at 2 pm because that was my scheduled sonogram to find out the sex of my baby. I have been counting down the days for that moment for the last two/three weeks. I can't miss my grandfather's funeral to go to my most anticipated doctor's appointment. I will be calling the doctor's office early Monday morning to reschedule.

Dust and I are leaving tomorrow (Sunday) after morning church to go be with my family. Dust and I are also taking off two days of work. My grandfather's viewing/visitation is on Monday and the funeral is Tuesday.

lame articles

I know Dust has blogged about ads on the back of cereal boxes before but I can't resist this one. The cereal was a HyVee brand Crispix. There were different articles encouraging kids to go to the library and read books. One headline read: "Hang out at the Library!" "Consider the library the next time you are looking for a place to hang out." What teenager is going to want to hang out at the library? You can't talk above a whisper there. The box shows a picture of two teenage girls leaning against a shelf of books "hanging out." Is that the best that they can do to get kids/teenagers to go to the library? If they want kids to go the library they should make it more relevant. They have the wrong marketing strategy here. Any teenager is going to read that and say "yeah, right." (sarcasm)

On the positive side, an article on the box informed kids that they can check out DVD's and videos at the library. And it suggested that you should join an online book club that some libraries offer. The chapters of the book will be emailed to you.

On a different note, there was a lame saying on the flap of my raisin box. "When you shine, people around you glow." Talk about cheesy.

baby stuff

I was looking through the ads in the paper. A lot of stores are having good sales on baby items. I read a description of a child car booster seat: For children 30-100 pounds. I laughed when I saw that because I am slightly under 100 pounds. I won't be for long, but maybe I need to be buckled in a booster seat. It would definitely help me see better out of the window. : )

Dust and I went to Babies R Us on Saturday. They have a bigger selection of every baby product than most stores. We were mainly looking at cribs. There were regular wood color ones, white ones, black ones, and dark wood ones. I think I like the white ones the best. I want a crib that can turn into a toddler bed. I also want to get a changing table. I liked the ones with rails the best so the baby won't fall off.

I had looked at some of the crib bedding at Babies R Us, but decided to go online also. They had the bedding collections organized in themes. Characters, florals, plaids, cars & trains. If we have a girl, I liked the "Hello Kitty" themed bedroom the best. If we have a boy, I liked the Locomotion themed bedroom the best. Dust has a toy box in the shape of a train and that would work perfectly. I loved "Hello Kitty" when I was a girl, and if I have a daughter she will definitely be exposed to an appreciation for cats.

some observations

I was driving by the mall when something caught my attention on the other side of the street. There was a woman dressed up in an "Uncle Sam" costume advertising for Liberty Tax Services. Do they really think that is a good marketing idea? I wouldn't take that company seriously to do my taxes. I drove by another time and a lady was dressed up as the Statue of Liberty. People dressed up in costumes is a good marketing idea for a carnival or fair, but not to advertise income tax services. Talk about unprofessional.

One time Dust and I were driving home from church and we saw a man on stilts on the side of the road. I figured that some kind of fair was going on. No, he was advertising openings in an apartment complex. Who is actually going to see the man and think, "Wow, I want to live there." Finding an apartment to live in is a major decision. I don't see how the guy on stilts is going to get people to come in and rent an apartment.

not a "finisher"

I am embarrassed to say that I have trouble completing things. I always thought that I was a finisher. Dust brought me into reality and showed me the things that I haven't finished. Here is my list of books that I started reading but never finished: a George W. Bush biography, Shout to the Lord devotional book, The Hobbit, a couple of pregnancy books. I started reading Pride & Prejudice over Christmas but have not finished. I read one chapter of "Searching for God Knows What." I do want to finish that book. I am going through two baby names books.

I started a scrapbook several years ago and quit after a while. I stopped taking pictures.

What confuses me is that I always have a "to-do-list" going and I love to check things off on it. Maybe I should put the books that I am reading on the "to-do-list." Maybe then I will finish my books. Maybe I just have a problem with reading and scrapbooking.

aah! I have my mom's haircut!

I got my hair chopped off yesterday. It is pretty short. It is the shortest that I have ever had it. I freaked out when I saw it. "What did I do?" The salon lady and I had a miscommunication. I did not want it cut short around my ears. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, "I have my mother's haircut!" I called Dust yesterday and told him that I have our mother's haircut. He tried to be encouraging. I wanted to look older since I am going to be a mother but I didn't want to look like my own mother. I am definitely going to have to style it in a more modern way.

On a more positive note, I got a lot of compliments about my hair at work today. Maybe it isn't as bad as I think it is. I just really need to figure out how to style it.

Finally a label for what I am

My mother has diagnosed my father and I with Asperger's syndrome. She has been substitute teaching in a DSL (disabled speech and language) class with kids with Asperger's. In class, they practice having conversations with other kids. There is a script of questions on the wall with topics of discussions that they can use. "What is your favorite color, Bobby?" "Green." "What is your favorite sport, Billy." My mother went through the list of symptoms and was able to answer yes to the majority of them for my father and I. I have to agree with her. I had heard about Asperger's a couple of years ago and had thought that I might have it.

Here is a definition of Asperger's. I copied and pasted off of a website. Qualitative impairment in social interaction, as manifested by at least two of the following: marked impairments in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors such as eye-to-eye gaze, facial expression, body postures, and gestures to regulate social interaction failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental level a lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interests, or achievements with other people (e.g. by a lack of showing, bringing, or pointing out objects of interest to other people) lack of social or emotional reciprocity.

Persons with AS show marked deficiencies in social skills, have difficulties with transitions or changes and prefer sameness. They often have obsessive routines and may be preoccupied with a particular subject of interest. They have a great deal of difficulty reading nonverbal cues (body language) and very often the individual with AS has difficulty determining proper body space. Often overly sensitive to sounds, tastes, smells, and sights, the person with AS may prefer soft clothing, certain foods, and be bothered by sounds or lights no one else seems to hear or see. A few people with Asperger's syndrome are very successful and until recently were not diagnosed with anything but were seen as brilliant, eccentric, absent minded, socially inept, and a little awkward physically.

My mother said that the Asperger's kids have a hard time with abstracts. They need concrete. One boy freaked out because my mom told him to draw a picture of his own house. She had to break it down into: draw a square, then a triangle on top. I have always freaked out with assignments that seemed abstract to me. A cried a lot over homework all growing up. I need specific details given to me.

Asperger's was not known in the U.S. until 1994. There is no medication for the condition just therapy. I really wish that I had known about this earlier. From now on, I am going to blame everything on my Asperger's.