Out of the mouth of a boss

Actual quotes from real-life anal, OCD, narcissistic bosses. These are scenerios that happened in an office environment that I witnessed.

• (Boss in the office kitchen yelling to the receptionist sitting at her desk) Could you pull out the paper towel rolls to the front of the cupboard so I can see them? They were shoved to the back. (And why can't you take the few seconds to do it yourself?)
• "After putting each check in an envelope, walk to the mail drop with it. Don't make a stack of envelopes on your desk to take all at once to the mail drop." (Can we say ineffecient?)
• "Could you bring me a cup of coffee?"
• "Check your calculations on the calculator three times." (Is three the magic number?)
• "Run the dishwasher every afternoon, even if there is only one cup in it."
• "Please don't write on the desk without having something under your piece of paper."
• "Don't run the envelopes through the postage meter. Use the blank stickers provided by Pitney Bowes and run them through the machine."
• (on the phone with a Wendy's manager) "Your Wendy's burger gave me food poisoning. I want to file a complaint."
• "There is too much of a time delay before someone can leave me a voicemail after hearing my greeting." Phone technician says, "There is nothing we can do about that. The length of time is standard."
• "Order the Hinckly Springs bottled water cooler service. Make sure it is spring water. I can tell the difference. No mineral water."
• "Let me see the address label on the envelope to see if it matches the invoice address before you seal it and put it in the mail." (Do you think I am that incompetent?)