week 31

I have 7 more weeks until the baby is full term. I am hoping that she is born mid-November rather than late November. My belly is so huge that I am starting to look like a freak show. My belly sticks out way too far. Everyone thinks that I am due any time and they are shocked when I tell them that I have about two months to go. I will have to post a pic when I am able.

Think of me. I am miserable. I am having trouble sleeping at night. I am so ready to have this baby.

baby girl

Last Tuesday I had a second sonogram. The doctor found a problem with the baby's kidneys. The valve between the kidney and the bladder either have not developed or aren't working properly. So, her urine is coming back up from the bladder into her kidneys making them enlarged. The doctor assured me that this is common and to not worry about it. There is nothing that they can do right now. When our baby girl is 6 weeks old, the dr. will probably do an ultrasound on her kidneys to see how they are doing. Please keep our baby girl in your prayers!

organizing

I used to think that I was good at organizing things in the house and office. For the last year or so I have realized that isn't the case. I think when you have a child there is definitely a lot more clutter. You have to be in a constant state of transition of baby stuff to toddler stuff.

Dust has mentioned that we are in the process of moving our office to the basement. We have gotten rid of some stuff. I am proud of Dust for throwing away two drawers of computer stuff. We have bought some new organizing containers for the desk. We have been analyzing ways to consolidate. This process has been good. I feel like we will be more functional as a household. We used to have piles and piles of stuff in the office. I want to make sure that there will be no more piles!

beat the heat

NJ and I wanted to go to the pool today, but when we got there at 10 am it was closed. I guess the baby pool at Marty Pool isn't open anymore at 10 am?? We sat in the parking lot for a little while just to make sure we weren't too early. I guess I should have looked up the hours on the website. I didn't want to come back at noon. It is supposed to get to 100 degrees today.

We were in a pool mood, so I told NJ we would put up the baby pool in our backyard. I filled up the pool and put his slide down in it. He had a great time! There is a hole in the waterhose so when I turned on the water, the water shot out of the hose like a sprinkler. I let the water run so NJ and I could run through "the sprinkler".

We had a picnic lunch outside. NJ has a little picnic table with umbrella that I put up. He enjoyed eating at his table outside. I sat on our picnic table beside him. It was already pretty humid by then and about 94 degrees, so NJ and I went inside. He wasn't happy with that. He can stand the heat better than I can!

another week off

Dust is taking next week off from work because his parents will be staying with us. Dust will turn 29 for the first time this Sunday. : ) Happy Birthday Dust! It will be nice to have him around.

I have been cleaning the house in preparation for Dust's parents visit. Cleaning is much more tolerable when I am listening to my i-pod. Hopefully NJ's nap will last long enough today and tomorrow so I can get stuff done. Better get back to work.

it's a surprise

Dust and I have officially decided on a name for our baby girl. But, we are keeping it a surprise! Sorry to dissapoint anyone. I know we told everyone NJ's name, but I want to build up some anticipation. It seems like there are quite a few people at our church that keeps the baby's name a secret until it is born.

I do enjoy going through the book of baby names. I was surprised at some of the meanings of names. There were some meanings that turned me off from the name entirely. Take Emily, for example, it means flatterer. Being a flatterer isn't a positive thing as far as I'm concerned.

Stay tuned until November when the name will be revealed at the baby's birth. : )

It's a girl!!

Most of you know already that we are having a baby girl! I e-mailed most everybody yesterday when we found out. I am so excited! I feel really blessed to have one boy and one girl now.

There are so many cute baby girl clothes now. I have been looking at girl nursery room colors for crib bedding. Now we can focus on girl names now.

Today is Nathan's 2nd birthday! My little man had a Diego birthday party for lunch. His Aunt Carissa has been here to help celebrate. He was spoiled in the present department. He is taking his nap now and later we will probably go to the pool.

Happy Birthday Nathan!

the pool

Today was NJ's first experience at a public pool. He had a blast! We went to the Marty pool which has a "kiddie pool" for 7 yr. old's and under. It was really neat. NJ liked the fish slide. I was surprised that the slide didn't land you into any water. There was some poles in the middle that had water that shot out of it. What did surprise me was how brave NJ was. He wanted to go into the deeper water.

Some other MOPS moms and kids showed up and we ate our sack lunch at the picnic tables. After lunch, the big pool opened. I decided to go check it out for a little bit. I loved the fact that the pool sloped off from the sidewalk area. It was real easy to walk around in the shallow area. There wasn't a defined ledge. The 3 ft. and under was roped off. NJ loved the big pool! He kept laughing at the other kids swimming under the water. Some had goggles on and swim gear. He really wanted to go in the deeper water but I kept him back where it wasn't over his head. The pool was such a hit with NJ that we are definitely going back. I might consider getting a pool pass. Other moms loved watching how excited NJ was!

Grams and Gramps' house

We spent the weekend with my parents to celebrate Father's Day. We didn't do a whole lot. The purpose was to let my parents watch NJ play and to play with him. We grilled some steaks and made homemade ice cream. We played in their backyard.

NJ likes all the toys at Grams and Gramps' house. He especially likes the Sesame Street house with furniture and characters. NJ said Bert and Ernie's name this time. My brother and I played with the Sesame Street house when we were little. So, I have a lot of fond memories. The new toy NJ got to play with this time was a "popcorn popper" mower type push toy. My parents got it at a yard sale. I am just glad that we don't have one of those at home. : )

this weekend

Today NJ and I went with the MOPS group to Deanna Rose. We had a nice time. NJ loved the playground and the John Deere tractors that you can ride on. The weather wasn't too hot because of the storms we had last night.

Tomorrow, we are going to have a yard sale. It is our neighborhood sale so hopefully there will be a lot of traffic going by. A few years ago I had a yard sale that only made $20. I didn't have any "big ticket" items like furniture. This time I do have some furniture--kitchen table & chairs, coffee table, and bar stools. Hopefully, I can make more money this time.

vacation time!

I am so excited about our trip to Omaha, NE this weekend. I am calling it our vacation even if it's only for 3 days. We desparately need this relaxation time. Dust needs it more than I do. I don't mean any disrespect with this statement---we will not be visiting family members on this trip! This is a trip just for us where we can spoil ourselves and do whatever we want!! Don't get me wrong, I love seeing family. Everyone just needs a break once in awhile.

I am sure Dust will be giving you the play by play while we are gone. He is bringing his laptop and will probably be posting from our hotel room. Pray that NJ will sleep well in our hotel room. He hasn't done so well in the past. He prefers his crib to the pack-n-play.

almost 19 years later

In a section of our bookcase is a collection of books that I had as a child. My parents bought me the "Little House" books that came in their own cardboard case. For some reason NJ has taken a liking to the collection of books. He pulls out each individual book from the case and then puts them back in. When I picked up the "Little House on the Prairie" storybook, I noticed that there was a bookmark inside it. The bookmark was an admission ticket to the Laura Ingalls Wilder home and museum in Mansfield, MO dated July 22, 1989. I got the books at the museum.

I was a little disappointed in myself to realize that I had never finished reading all the books in the Little House series. I only got halfway through the second book. At that moment, I decided that I would finish reading the books right where I left off. Dust thought it was funny that I didn't just start from the beginning of the book again. I kinda skimmed the first half. It is just Laura talking about Pa building the house. I started on the chapter where the family all had fevers. I am really looking forward to the last books about the romance between Laura and Almanzo.

When NJ is playing downstairs, I have been pulling out the Little House book and reading it while he plays. Maybe 19 years from now I will finish the books that I recently stopped reading. This gives me hope that I really can finish books. I am not just fooling myself when I think that I will eventually finish "so and so" book.

Kangaroo Climber

We bought NJ a slide a couple of weeks ago. It has a door in the back that he can open and close. There aren't any steps to the slide. It has a platform that he is supposed to climb or push himself up on. There is a circle cutout on the side that he can climb through to go down the slide. He loves doing that!

Sometimes we start our day going down the slide. He is able to see the slide through the window on the french door. So, if he sees it, he wants to go outside or else!

I have actually enjoyed his love of the slide. I usually sit with my feet up at our patio table. We have had some nice weather, between all the rain, and I have soaked it in. The slide is the perfect entertainment for NJ as my pregnant belly gets bigger. I will enjoy sitting outside watching NJ. I am looking forward to the rest of the spring and summer.

release from perfection

A speaker at the MOPS conference mentioned that the slogan is "better moms make a better world", not perfect moms make a perfect world. I like that. I am tired of trying to be perfect. I don't know why I have felt like I had to be. For some reason it seems like a lot of people have the perfect house, the perfect kids, the perfect hair, the perfect clothes. I am sure there are some assumptions that are wrong or have a wrong attitude behind it.

I feel more comfortable letting people know the real me. I don't have energy to clean my house, so if we have company, I'm not going to stress out trying to get the house immaculate. Maybe it's because I'm pregnant that I'm just tired. I am done with trying to be perfect.

Julie Barnhill is the author of "One Tough Mother". We watched her video at MOPS. She basically said that being perfect isn't helping anyone else out. It isn't an encouragement to other moms to see a spotless house when you have three young children at home. She joked about the "Christmas letter" that people send out. It is usually a list of how perfect everyone is.

I think being authentic is what people want to see and hear. People love hearing funny stories of how I messed this up or said so and so. I want to be honest with my imperfections and laugh at them. And give someone else a laugh in the process.

MOPS-(Mothers of Pre-schoolers)

This coming Saturday I am going to a MOPS leadership summit. I will be the finance coordinator for the MOPS group at our church this coming fall. I thought it would be a good idea to attend the conference. It is at a church fairly close to our house so I won't have to drive too far.

I don't really see myself as a leader because of my quiet personality. I guess to do finance you don't really need a charismatic personality. : ) My responsibilities include taking attendance and collecting the dues. I do see myself as a nice person and I know that's important because I will be one of the first faces the mothers will see when they walk in. This is a ministry that I am really excited about.

So, remember Dust this Saturday because he will be taking care of NJ by himself from 9 am until 3 pm.

Baby #2 is on the way!

I am pregnant again! Dust and I are excited about our second child on the way. My due date is November 30th. I have had some naseau, but not too bad.

I am fine with either a boy or girl. We won't keep trying for a girl if it's another boy. Two kids is enough for me.

plans for spring/summer

Today's high is supposed to be around 70 degrees. NJ and I have already played in the backyard. When he gets up from his nap, I want to take him for a walk in the stroller. This nice weather makes me wonder about what NJ and I are going to do this spring and summer.

We are considering getting a membership at the Matt Ross Community Center. It has an indoor pool and exercise equipment. This would be a nice family thing to do on the weekends. Maybe I should get a membership at the local swimming pool? I am not really a pool type person though. I have to be careful about the sun because of my weird moles. Maybe we should buy a swingset and slide for the backyard? I really don't know what to do. But I do want to do something.

Any ideas?

obligation versus love

I want to share something that struck a chord with me while reading, "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World." The basis of the book is about the sisters Mary and Martha in the Bible. The particular chapter was about service. "Service without spirituality is exhausting and hopeless. But in the same respect, spirituality without service is barren and selfish. Martha was doing a good thing in regards to the kitchen work she was doing for Jesus, but she missed out on the spiritual side. The "better part" was not taken from Mary as she sat at Jesus' feet. I kinda feel like maybe I have been selfish for awhile in regards to ministry/service. I don't have a specific ministry that I am doing at the church right now. I have given meals to some moms and babysitted but that's about it since NJ has been around.

The book quotes the book, "Love Adds a Little Chocolate" by Linda Andersen. "Duty can pack an adequate sack lunch, but love may decide to enclose a little love note inside...Obligation sends the children to bed on time, but love tucks the covers in around their necks and passes out kisses and hugs....Duty gets offended quickly if it isn't appreciated, but love learns to laugh a lot and to work for the sheer joy of doing it. I received an attitude check from God. I have had a bad attitude about serving my family in regards to all the housework that I do. I need to serve my family with love and do things just because I love my family.

thoughts on starting a new decade

Tomorrow is my first day as a thirty-something. Actually just thirty without the something. It was a huge deal to me when I turned 20. I was leaving my identity as a "teenager" and I felt really old. Dust and I were dating at the time. It was raining that night and I thought it would be fun to run around the college campus in the rain. Dust humored me, but I know he didn't really want to get wet.

Really, turning 30 isn't a big deal to me. I am kinda looking forward to it. I want to embrace it. I got my hair cut a little over a week ago. It is just a bob, but it is cut at an angle with the back a little shorter than the sides. I felt like I looked too young with longer hair. I feel like I have a little more self esteem. I have more confidence.

Starting a new decade in life kinda feels like New Year's Day. I feel like I have a fresh start. I can make new goals and change whatever I want to change. I have the typical resolutions that most people have on New Years Day: eat healther and exercise. But this time, I have more realistic changes. With Dust's eating/health issues, we definitely need to change things as a family.

My twenties gave me a husband and a child. I will look back at my twenties with fondness. I wonder what my thirties has in store for me? I don't want to rush them. I am going to take one day at a time.

visit from family

I am looking forward to this weekend. My parents and brother are coming up to celebrate my birthday. I love having my family stay with us. My father is really handy around the house (he is an electrician) and he usually takes care of a few projects. He is going to try to put an outlet in the bathroom. When we took down our old bathroom light, we lost the only outlet in the bathroom. Hopefully, we will also get to put up a chandelier in the kitchen.

I want to take my family to the Legends shopping area. There is a restaurant called Saddle Ranch Chop House. My family LOVES steak places and they have a bit of country in them. I have never been to the restaurant..so I hope we are not dissappointed. Maybe Dave & Buster's would be a better choice? I know since it is my birthday that I should pick the restaurant....but I usually choose something that I think everyone will enjoy.

Happy Valentine's Day!

So far this has been a good day. Dust had a card, balloon, and 3 roses for me this morning. We celebrated Valentine's Day last Friday. We ate out at The Cheesecake Factory near 119th St. It was a good meal and I enjoyed the atmosphere. And I enjoyed the fact that I got to complete a meal sitting at a table and not rushing through it. We saw the movie 27 dresses also. Thanks to Dust for letting me see a chick flick. I was impressed with the movie-good storyline, funny, and happy ending.

I went to MOPS this morning. Rhonda, from our church, who is a personal trainer, spoke to us about healthy choices and fitness. I learned some things and I am motivated to start eating better and to start exercising.

I plan on picking up one of Papa Murphy's heart shaped pizzas for our dinner. (is that a healthy choice?) oh, well. Dust has a class tonight, so we need to have a quick dinner before he leaves. I hope everyone has a great Valentine's Day!

not a finisher

It's hard to admit my weaknesses. Especially, when I thought for so long that I didn't have this weakness. I have a hard time finishing things. The things that I seem to not finish are: reading books, projects around the house, and eating everything on my plate.

The type of people that I thought were not finishers were people that dropped out of high school or college. I just knew that I was a finisher because I graduated from college. I realize now that I can be a non finisher in other areas. I start a lot of projects and I don't complete them. In the back of my mind I know that the projects are there and I rationalize that I will get to them someday. I have accepted now that I just won't get back to reading the several books that I have started. I keep meaning to put up some curtains in NJ's room and the living room, but I probably won't get around to it for some time. I mean we have been in our house for over 4 years now. How embarrassing!

spy

I know I have mentioned before about spying on my neighbors. And that I am already the nosy old woman that is always looking out the window. : ) I have started noticing the lady that lives caddy-corner behind us. On Monday, NJ and I played outside in the backyard because it was close to 60 degrees out there. I noticed the lady watching us play and I smiled at her and she smiled back. She was very obvious about staring at us and it made me feel a little weird. She was leaning against the door frame with the door open.

The last two days I have looked out our back door and have noticed the lady standing with the door open again. It has snowed and has been very cold. It doesn't make any sense to me to stand with the door open. She has a long red housecoat on which I think would be cold too. Has she done this wondering if we were going to come outside and play? Or is this something she always does around 10 in the morning?

Sometimes I wonder if I should have been a spy. Maybe I am too obvious at spying and would never have been a good undercover agent. I think it would be cool to be on a stake-out. Some may think it would be a little boring. I am a boring person though. I think I will stick to watching my FBI tv shows and movies.

at least we have a pot to pee in

Dust has been working on the bathroom for almost two weeks now. Our house has been in disarray. We have been brushing our teeth at the kitchen sink. That is where our toothbrushes and toothpaste live now. Dust shaves in the shower. So his shave gel, mirror, and razor have been on the tub. We had emptied the medicine cabinet and vanity drawers into a box that had been in the office. We would dig through the box to find the item we needed. Last Saturday, Dust hung our new cabinet on the wall. So, it was nice to organize our stuff into that. Our upstairs toilet has been sitting in the area above the stairs by the door to the garage. I am thankful though, that we have a 2nd toilet in the basement. It has been cold to go down in the basement to use it. Sitting on the cold toilet seat is sure to wake you up though!

I really don't want to complain. I know that soon enough we are going to have a nice bathroom to use upstairs. I don't like the inbetween stages though. I have had some interesting living conditions in my life. I lived in a farmhouse in elementary school. My brother and I shared a room for awhile and a closet. In sixth grade, we made the upstairs attic room my bedroom. It was too cold to sleep in during the winter, so I slept on the living room couch. We had a wood stove for heat. In the summer, we spent most of the time in my parents bedroom because that is where the only air conditioner for the house was. I feel really blessed for the house that we have now. I feel ashamed for not being content with it sometimes.

rough week

We all have colds in our family. It has hit us all hard. NJ had a fever for about 3 days. My body has ached and I have no energy. NJ has been extremely clingy and wants me to carry him around the house all day. So, I haven't been getting the rest that I need. Poor Dust is going to work with his cold. We have plans to re-do our bathroom this weekend. I am going to tell Dust to rest as much as he can.

Last weekend, Dust painted our bathroom a medium brown color. He put up a new light fixture and mirror. This weekend, we need to put the new sink/vanity in and put down tile flooring. I had debated on whether to get a pedestal sink and decided against it. I want a cohesive look in the bathroom and had a hard time picking out individual items that matched together. Our mirror, vanity and cabinet unit that goes over the toilet matches. It is a cherry wood, which I usually don't like. I am using three different shades of brown in the bathroom. I hope the finished product looks put together.

a lesson in sharing

Yesterday, I babysitted two little girls. They came over to my house while their mother went to a doctor's appt. The girls were 2 and 3 1/2 years old. The girls made themselves right at home and started playing with NJ's barnyard playset. That didn't set well with NJ. He started crying the minute that they were there. I hugged one of the girls to comfort her from her mother leaving and NJ looked at me with eyes of betrayal. He cried when one girl sat in his blue Thomas the Train chair. The youngest girl picked up his beloved horse stuffed animal and NJ yelled, "Neigh, Neigh." (The horse's name is Neigh)

NJ was pretty upset the entire time that the girls were here. I had to comfort NJ most of the time so I wasn't as available for the girls. I kept an eye on them the entire time though. The girls sat very well at the table and had a snack and played with some toys. They were both content to find a toy for awhile and play with it. They were very low maintenance.

I think the whole experience was a good lesson in sharing for NJ. He needs to realize that there are other kids besides himself and it is ok if they touch his toys. I know this will be an ongoing lesson especially if he has a sibling someday.

dig deeper

Dig deeper. This is my motto for 2008. Let me explain. I was reading an article in MomSense magazine titled Stuck Places. It is about feeling stuck in your life when you have little control over the circumstances. Winter weather and sick children can make you feel stuck at home. There was a story about a woman that went to a retreat center to get "filled up". The woman told the nun that she felt dry and empty. The nun replied, "You know that when the well runs dry, the farmer doesn't refill it. He digs deeper."

Yesterday on the drive home from our Christmas vacation, I kept saying to myself dig deeper. NJ was extremely fussy and uncomfortable. The portable DVD player wasn't helping him any more. He had a hard time falling asleep for his nap. I tried not to get frustrated as well because I was tired also. I had to tap into my inner resources and with God's help, I didn't loose my cool.

This stage of life is only temporary. The way it is now isn't the way it will always be.