A speaker at the MOPS conference mentioned that the slogan is "better moms make a better world", not perfect moms make a perfect world. I like that. I am tired of trying to be perfect. I don't know why I have felt like I had to be. For some reason it seems like a lot of people have the perfect house, the perfect kids, the perfect hair, the perfect clothes. I am sure there are some assumptions that are wrong or have a wrong attitude behind it.
I feel more comfortable letting people know the real me. I don't have energy to clean my house, so if we have company, I'm not going to stress out trying to get the house immaculate. Maybe it's because I'm pregnant that I'm just tired. I am done with trying to be perfect.
Julie Barnhill is the author of "One Tough Mother". We watched her video at MOPS. She basically said that being perfect isn't helping anyone else out. It isn't an encouragement to other moms to see a spotless house when you have three young children at home. She joked about the "Christmas letter" that people send out. It is usually a list of how perfect everyone is.
I think being authentic is what people want to see and hear. People love hearing funny stories of how I messed this up or said so and so. I want to be honest with my imperfections and laugh at them. And give someone else a laugh in the process.
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7 comments:
Since no one is perfect, what's the point of pretending? Anyway, you're as close to perfect as you can get. :)
I think a lot of moms try to be perfect. There usually the best ones vs the ones that could care less. Being a mom is a tough job. It's 24 hr/ 7 days a week. It's crazy to try to be perfect at it.
I learned a long time ago that my kids like me a lot better when I'm not pushing to be perfect, but just accepting who I am. I guess it's because I'm a lot happier when I'm in that state of mind then when I'm working so hard to be something that I think others need me to be.
I never tried to have the perfect hair or clothes or house. I did try to have a perfectly clean house when Woogy was first born, but I have long since gave that up.
I know the moms you are talking about, usually being a mom is their identity. I don't want to dish on them, if that's what they want but I can't imagine trying to be perfect. You are definitely better off not trying to be like that, just be yourself.
That is the perfect approch to being a mom.
As I said before, you are perfect from my perspective.
I've given this some thought and I am starting to think that the drive to be perfect has to be a serious psychological issue. It can come in several forms (like the type of perfection that you talk about), but almost none of the motivations for earning perfection are noble.
If it's so you can be superior to the people who are less than perfect it isn't good. If it's so others don't judge you, then you are letting others rule your life.
Anyway, I am very happy that you are taking this approach. It reminds me why I love you.
This is a great post. I need that reminder. I tend to try to please everyone which is ultimately trying to be perfect because it's not possible. I'm trying to get better at telling myself good enough and who cares what "they" think?
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