I have been thinking about how my faith appears to other people. Do I come across as a genuine person living a consistent christian life? I hope so. Am I letting God use me when He needs me? Or do I rationalize not doing something or saying something for Christ because of fear?
I was listening to Greg Long's song, "Fifteen" yesterday and it made me cry. Usually I just think these type of songs are cheesy sounding. "If it takes fifteen times to hear about Jesus, for someone to believe. I may be the 3rd, I may be the7th, there may be years inbetween. What if I'm fifteen?" I think there were times that I may have been and I didn't come through. I then started thinking, why would God keep me around if I'm not doing anything for Him? I am just taking up space.
I really want to be useful. I think I have been lazy lately. I want to be different.
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A nickname my mother gave me... a synonym for my name.
6 comments:
This is something that I have thought about lately. How I use to actively pray and pursue opportunities to share my faith and now I am much more timid and lacking the boldness that I once had.
I struggle with the whole selling salvation thing. I care about people, but I know I don't feel cared about when someone tries to convert me to their way of thinking.
I doubt I'll never be a hard seller because that's not how I was made. That doesn't mean I should hide God.
I think the trouble is that we are prone to go to either the extreme of being preachy or cheesy, or the other extreme of hiding our faith. I think there is a good middle ground.
Hearing about t-bop's death hit me hard. Heart attack at 42. I believe Dust and I did what we could to show him God's love. He used to be an A/G youth pastor. I wonder where he stood regarding God when he died.
For me, the largest hurdles have been the emotional responses that I would characterize as guilt, responsibility, and holiness. If I set those aside and head into the spiritual fray of loving people, I no longer worry as much about my own shortcomings.
I think there are a lot of people just "taking up space". I don't want to be one of them.
I'm afraid I hold back too much too. I agree with Dust, it seems to be preachy or hidden. Also in the post-mod way of thinking everything is okay, I wonder how to convey Christ without sounding so absolute. I don't like to argue and I use that as an excuse for not saying what I believe sometimes. It's so hard - I think people really just want others to be real with them.
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