Friday, October 14, 2005

my revelation

I had a revelation about myself last night. It came while I was watching the Apprentice. Torral had thought the "blondes" were out to get her. They all clicked together perfectly but her and Rebecca were on the outside. I think Torral must have had bad experiences in the past where she was excluded. I had a bad experience where I was excluded from a group. Because of that one bad experience, I sometimes think I am excluded from a group when maybe I'm not. If I am around the type of girls that excluded me the first time, I think that they will behave in the same manner. It is almost like a self-fulfilled prophecy. I may think certain girls are mean and out to get me and maybe after the way I behave, they will be mean back. I think I perceive things that aren't actually happening. That one bad experience has scarred my social life ever since.

Another thing I have realized is that I have an overdeveloped sense of empathy. I have too much of a good thing. I feel other people's pain as deeply as they are hurt. I am not trying to brag or toot my own horn. I feel sorry for people that maybe aren't feeling hurt. I am sad when I see someone eating alone at a restaurant. Maybe this is a gift that God gave me. God gives everyone different gifts.

Hope I didn't reveal too much of myself and scare people off. : )

4 comments:

roamingwriter said...

I'm amazed at how much I keep discovering about myself. Seems I should have had me figured out by now but no so!

T said...

I think your poop stories scared me more! :) In case you wondered! But I love all of you
Golden, you are awesome! Let's keep discovering together!

gigi said...

Thank you so much for such an honest post. This is something I bet we have all struggled with at some point.

shakedust said...

What struck me from watching the episode was that Toral was right that the women were out to get her, but she had no sense of how to deal with it. Had she taken a leading role, or made a stronger attempt to help, then someone else would have gotten fired. Part of business (and life) is learning how to work with people who are not at all like you.