my potty humor

I thought that I would devote a post to explain the background behind my bathroom humor. I like to joke that my family is anal. quite literally. The majority of my family members have issues with their bowels. I was always embarrassed when my grandmother would ask me if I had had my bowel movement for the day. She was always so concerned with that. She would always ask my brother too. So in order to not take these issues seriously, my family has to joke about it. My mom and her brother, when they were kids, would always call who got the bathroom first when opening the front door on their way back from church. They would call first, second, and make their mom say terd instead of third.

A lot of my humor was formed by my brother. He would always make me laugh by having his pants fall down. You would think since I was the oldest that I would have been more of an influence on him. He just has more of an influential type personality. Most of what I think is funny has to do with what he thinks is funny. He and my dad would typically fart and burp at the dinner table. My mom would get on to them, probably out of obligation. We all thought it was funny.

My potty humor is what makes me unique. It is so ingrained in me that I could never deny it. This is who I really am.

Golden the rocker

Last night I was reflecting on why I like the band Evanescence. I don't look like the type of person that would typically like this band. Amy Lee, who sings the vocals, really plays up the goth look. When I see someone who has the pale skin, dark hair, dark makeup thing going on I tend to get kinda scared of that person. I think of someone like that to be mad at the world and a rebel with a cause. I just described most of my previous friends. Their absurdity somehow draws me in. It makes me laugh and want to get to know them better.

As Dust and I were watching the music videos and concert, we discussed what we liked about it. Dust said that the band/music/performance has a blend of both feminine and masculine qualities. I like the way that Amy can really belt her voice. She has such a beautiful voice too, with crystal like qualities. The guitar and bass parts are really awesome too. I love the fact that they bring out a grand piano for Amy to play her "slower" songs. What other heavy rock band brings out a grand piano? (I know of two people who would know the answer to that question)

There is not one song of theirs that I don't like. I can't say that of too many other bands that I like. Most of the songs bring you along on a roller coaster ride. I believe Amy wrote most of the songs and she really pours her soul out. A lot of it has to do with her soul too. And I might add, T, I can understand the majority of the words she sings. : )

It was quite an experience seeing them live in concert. Dust and I went with BB and Wah-Wah a few years ago. There were times that I was scared being in the center of the crowd. There was one guy who had too much to drink and I was worried that he was going to fall over on me. I think I may be getting too old to go the concerts, but I will still be a fan.

I think this band would appeal to new christians or non christians who are struggling or searching for truth. (Wake me up inside, and My God, my tourniquet, return to me salvation)

This again was my 2 cents.

Happy Birthday, Dust!

This morning I gave Dust his card and gift. There are some pretty lame birthday cards out there, so I decided to make his card. When Dust read it he said, "See, you can be funny." (After all the discussions about humor lately) We like to read the "Pearls before Swine" comic strip in the Sunday paper, so I decided to make it after that. The crocodile is always trying to lure the zebra over to his house to try to eat him. He talks in a lisp, sounds like one of the guys on "Fat Albert." (I had a zebra and crocodile sticker, luckily.) My card said, Hey, zebaa neighbaa, I ba heara you ba turnba 26! Come over so I can ba eat ba you. I mean so I canba eatba cake with you ba.

I am sure Dust enjoyed listening to his new Evanescense CD on his way to work. I know I'm going to enjoy the DVD of the concert that was with it. If Dust would like to share. : )

guilt driven

Do you ever feel like you have to "put in your face time" with certain family members? We have several family members that are always asking when we are going to see them next. It's not that we don't want to see them. It's just that Dust and I are driven by guilt.

Dust and I went to his cousin's wedding Saturday night. It was an outside wedding in the 90 degree heat. Everyone sat in white chairs and the vows were exchanged under a gazebo. When the minister was speaking, sweat was dripping from his face onto his book. The whole wedding party was glistening. The bride felt really bad about everyone having to be in the heat. The D.J. annouced that there was bottled water in a cooler at the end of the table. There was a dinner reception that included BBQ. As we were going through the buffet line outside under a tent, the weather changed into gusts of wind. Paper plates, napkins, and light weight stuff went flying.

The good thing about the wedding was that we got to spend some time with Dust's grandma and aunt. It had been awhile since we had seen them. We got caught up on what was going on on that side of the family. It was good to get some face time in.

stupid, stupid, stupid

Everyone has one of those friends that can be talked into doing something stupid. I was one of those friends in college. I can be manipulated very easily. Here are some examples:

My friends and I were eating at the "Joust". (the alternative to the caf) Lisa says, "Hey, A., I dare you to turn off the television." A football or some other game was on and there was a group of jocks sitting at a table, kinda watching it. I said, "Ok, sure I'll do it." I blatantly walk over to the television and turn it off. When I turned around to find my friends, they were all gone. The jocks just thought that was weird and one of them got up and turned it back on. I found my friends behind the corner laughing their heads off.

On Valentine's day, one of my friends was bored and said that I needed a perm. She had decided to color her hair and so did some of my other friends. So, of course I needed to do something with my hair also. "Ok", I said and let her give me a perm in the dorm room. Lisa freaked out when she saw Autumn giving me a perm. That in turn freaked me out worrying what it must look like. It turned out ok.

I think it was Lisa who said, "Why don't we all get dressed up in prom dresses and go to Price Chopper?" "Ok" There were six of us who scrambled around the dorm trying to find a dress to wear. We practiced our strut and tried it out in the second floor lobby. We took a picture of all of us lined up.

"Hey, A. why don't you dress up like a gangster and run around the dorm outside." "Ok, sure." Some other friends followed. We put black markings on our face and had a handkerchief around our heads. We also had flannel shirts and made guns by pointing our fingers. We ran around and tapped on the windows of the guys that we knew. Of course they thought we were all crazy.

Some friends and I had just walked out of the caf and it was pouring down rain. "Hey, let's run around the entire campus in the rain." "Ok" We ended up going into one of the piano practice rooms and Tim played for us. There were four or five of us sitting in one of those small practice rooms soaking wet.

A bright idea at around 2 am was, "Hey, let's try to sneak out of the dorm." "Ok" If anyone opened the doors after curfew, the alarms would go off. So, here I am on the first floor lobby trying to sneak out the window. "I think you can fit, A." I got paranoid the RD would come out and didn't do it.

Do I really need to say that all these events happened my freshman year? They all scream out hey, I'm a stupid freshman. Still at age 27, I can be talked into doing stupid things.

favorite and not so favorite

Actors. Actresses. You either like them or you don't like them. I know some people could care less about famous movie/t.v. stars. Dust makes fun when I have Access Hollywood on. I want to share some opinions on my favorite and not so favorite stars.

Actresses I don't care for:

>Angelina Jolie. She makes me sick. She comes across slutty. I don't like watching movies that she is in. However, I did have a change of heart when I realized how much she cares about hungry children that are dying. It was a moment when God was convicting me about what I am doing for Him. (The Wednesday night after we talked about faith vs. works. We all came to agree that if we have faith we will have works.)

>Catherine Zeta-Jones-she really doesn't have much of a personality. She seems stuck up and stuffy.

Actresses I like:

>Sandra Bullock-she seems down to earth. She seems like the girl you grew up with in high school. Maybe that's just the roles she has played.

>Kate Hudson-again a seemingly down to earth person. Funny, outgoing. Even though her style is a bit hippy.

>Renee Zellwegger-could be that I like all the roles she has been in. A bit quirky, silly, and funny.

>Jennifer Garner-she also seems down to earth. But also very cool. She has a way of acting cute.

Actors I don't care for:

>Pierce Brosnan-he isn't funny. I can't remember seeing him smile.

>Richard Gere-seems a bit creepy to me. not funny.

Actors I like:

>Johnny Depp. mysterious yet cool. quirky and funny.

>Orlando Bloom. looks better with black hair. (not the long blond elf in Lord of the Rings) He was good in Pirates and Troy.

>Jim or James Caviezel.-great in dramas. plays emotional roles well.

>Ashton Kutcher-hilarious. I am growing out of his high school type humor though.

I realize that the descriptions I gave is how they are portrayed in movies/t.v. They probably are not that way in real life. I tend to not like slutty and stuck-up roles. Funny and silly roles are a favorite of mine but I can still appreciate a good drama. This was my 2 cents.

To join, or not to join, that is the question?

Dust and I have been trying to decide whether to join Netflix or the BlockBuster online thing. I was dissappointed last week when I got out my $4.29 for a rental at Blockbuster and the checkout person said $4.61. I know it isn't much of a price increase, but it did tick me off. That event kinda prompted us to look into the online thing.

It looks like with the $9.99/month contract that you only get to have 1 rental out at a time. I really don't think that is a good option. I wouldn't want to have to wait for my next rental. I do like the idea of having 3 out at a time. There won't be any lag time, and you would probably always have a movie to watch.

What would the drawbacks be to joining Blockbuster or Netflix online? Would I be getting my money's worth or would it be cheaper to not join? Sometimes we go through a time where we don't watch many rentals. As far as the summer has gone so far, we have watched maybe 2 rentals/month. If we did join, I would feel like I would have to be constantly watching movies in order to get my money's worth.

I know Dust has talked to some people that have joined Blockbuster and some that are doing Netflix. I think he is going to ask them a few more questions, and then we will decide.

On a whim

I am usually the type of person that likes to plan outings in advance. I usually like to know my schedule for the upcoming weekend ahead of time. The plans don't have to be detailed. Just knowing who I am spending time with is enough for me. Here lately, it seems like Dust and I have been doing things on a whim. Going to the drive-in movies last Friday was a decision on the whim.

There is a process that I go through when the whims happen. At first, there is a slight grievance of the things that I had in mind of doing. I am reminded of the "you do not own your time" chapter in the Screwtape letters. "I am not the sole ownership of 24 hours" If the whim is my idea, I do not have much of a grievance. If it was not my idea, there is a bit of a feeling that I have lost "my time." After I have gotten over that, there is a bit of excitement about the possibility before me. I realize how fun and spontaneous it would be. At that moment it seems like I have done a 180 degree turn. I have an attitude of "we have got to do this or else."

This whole process sometimes takes only a few minutes. Dust must think I'm crazy for going through all these moods right after another. It really isn't pms . . . . all of the time.

toy story

Most of you know that I have a toy collection. Yes, I am one of those weird persons that never got rid of any childhood toys. My collections include Garfield, Care Bears, Strawberry Shortcake, Pound Puppies & Kitties, Cabbage Patch, troll dolls, Wizard of Oz, Sylvanian families, and much more. Now that I have kept these items so long, I just couldn't bare to get rid of them. In Sunday School when everyone named a prized belonging of theirs, I said my Garfield collection. In trying to decide what my prized possession was in a matter of minutes, I figured it had to be an item that I would be devasted to loose in a fire. Of course photos would definately be number one. There are just a lot of memories that are attached to photos and my toys.

What really makes me happy is watching other kids play with my toys. It is neat to share a memory of my past with them. (Although one toy in particular can get pretty loud-clackers) One time I found Garfield miniatures hidden behind pillows and different items around the room. I got a good laugh out of that. My brother and I used to hide the Garfield miniatures in our Christmas tree. We also used to hide the "Barrel of Monkeys" in the tree also.

Maybe I am just a kid at heart. Maybe I like the idea of toys. It is a world with no responsibilities and you can get lost for hours in a world that you create. What I do know is that I will never be too old to play with toys. I also have never been selfish with my toys. I believe that they should be played with and not kept somewhere where they can collect dust.

Music and Human Videos

I first started listening to music in 1990 when I was in 6th/7th grade. I remember my father bringing home a christian rap cassette tape. He was the youth pastor at our church at that time and I believe that he was going to use it for a service. It was a tape by Stephen Wiley. I was singing the lyrics to Dust the other day. "I'm Stephen Wiley, and I'm rated highly, and I rap to a T, come listen to me as I rap religiously." Kind of cheesy looking back at it now. Dust cringes because his roommate used to sing those lyrics to him also. "Shake this nation, as we learn the words from Genesis to Revelation."

The youth group at church tonight did some human videos that they used in their Mexico missions trip. The three songs were the typical ones that I heard close to ten years ago when human videos were popular. "This Bloods for you" by Carmen and "I'm running to the mercy seat." It sounds like these songs are still effective in ministry. The visual of Jesus being beaten for our sins transcends the language barrier. It is hard for Dust and I not to have a cynical attitude about the whole cheesy human video thing. Has there not been a decent song that is fairly new to do a human video to? This may be effective in Mexico. And human videos may be effective for people who have never heard of Jesus. There has to be something more creative out there to reach the young people of America. Sorry if I have offended anyone. I'm just throwing some ideas out there.

rude people

One of my pet peeves is people that don't give you the courtesy of a response when you talk to them. Here is an example: I walk over to a woman and try to be friendly by small talk and say something like, "Hey, I heard that (fill in the blank) is going on , wouldn't that be fun to do?" Her response is nothing. She just looks at me with a blank stare and walks away. This was an actual event that happened to me recently. She could have at least given me the courtesy of a smile or nod. That is all that I ask. What hurts me the most is knowing that this person is typically a talkative person. There have been several instances after this one where I only got a blank stare after talking to this person. They were all one on one conversations and not with a group of people standing around.

When I am spoken to, I try to at least give a nod or smile. I figure that is only the polite thing to do. I am shy and I can at least do that. I have a cousin who is more shy than me. He can hardly look at me when I talk to him. This cousin lives in Michigan and I don't see him very often. I think he has social anxiety disorder but I have been too afraid to ask. I think I have social anxiety disorder but have been to scared to go to the doctor and get checked out for it.

Sorry, I got sidetracked for a moment. I have another example of people not giving the courtesy of a response. I went to a small college and everyone knew everybody at least by the face. Most people would say hi to anyone walking down the sidewalk. I remember several people that would not acknowledge when someone would say hi or wave to them when walking by them. How rude is that! How hard is it to say hi? or wave or nod your head?

I guess what it boils down to is that I can't stand rude or snobby people. I probably should never live on the east coast. I had a roommate in college from New Jersey. She was extremely rude and obnoxious. She told me that in Jersey you never look people in the eye when you walk by them. She told me that I would be eaten alive up there.

Ducks, Phantoms, and pizza

Dust and I have spent the majority of the last 4 days with his family. We went to a Japanese stroll garden on Friday. The landscaping was nice and it had a pagoda and a tea hunt along the pathway. There were 3 ducks that followed us around the garden by means of a pond. It cracked me up! One duck looked like he had a mohawk. The ducks knew where all the duck food dispensers were. Of course I caved in and fed them.

I got to watch Phantom of the Opera again on DVD. Still lovin' it. When we went to Wal-Mart, I just had to buy the Phantom soundtrack. I told Dust that today should be CD day where we both get to buy a CD! He agreed to buying Phantom because he could appreciate it too. But when we went to Barnes & Noble he found some books to buy instead--Sherlock Homes & a dot.com bomb book. I need not mention what the music was for the drive home. : )

A first for us was trying Papa Murphy's pizza. It had a good flavor, and in my opinion was just right.

I almost froze to death in the balcony of E.T. on Sunday am. (Dust's sister's church) It was almost the temperature of a meat locker--a side of beef would not spoil there. I prayed to God to help me get through the service. Luckily, I had brought my jean jacket. Dust's mother had Dad go out and get her sweater from the trunk of the car.

We are going to try to see some of the fireworks either from our yard or maybe walk down the street. Happy 4th!

fun times

The day that our friends Dar and Roamer will be departing approaches us soon. I would like to dedicate this post to the fun times that we have had with them. Here are some highlights in no particular order.

> Playing Apples to Apples at Dar's "Halloween" birthday party. Also playing Apples to Apples with the girls after the Christmas tea in Roamer's basement.

>Roamer wearing an old bridesmaid dress for one of the parties

>Kerry for President stickers-Election party

>roasting marshmallows in their backyard-using the fireplace thingy (forgot the word for it)

>Roamer being a wonderful hostess for the Christmas teas. I remember a lot of giggling going on during the speakers' speaches at most of the teas. (Verna, L.L., M.L.) : )

>Girls night out at Oklahoma Joe's. Fever Pitch was hilarious.

>Girls coffee night at Borders. Girls coffee nights on the last Tuesday of the month at Homer's.

>their decorated sump pump at the Love's Command X-mas party. T received it.

>playing poker with Roamer and Dar. Roamer not wanting to bid before seeing most of the cards in Texas-Hold-Em.

>being in Love's Command class with Dar and Roamer

>guys coffee night every Thursday night at Homer's

>putting socks on their furniture legs so they won't scratch in the container

Feel free to comment on your most memorable moment.

gifts vs. acts of service

Not another quiz or test...some of you are probably thinking. Yes, I took another quiz. And made Dust take it also. At our last home group, we were talking about the five love languages. I had never read the book before or taken the test. Everyone seemed to know what their love language was. Just by listening to the list, I could guess what mine would be. Gifts.

When I first heard of the book, I thought it might be another cheesy, overmarketed, gimmick. I have been somewhat skeptical of the new, cool, christian books that come out. (Dust's influence on me) I haven't read Purpose Driven Life yet, but maybe I should.

I took the love language test and sure enough gifts are my language. Dust is overly excited about that one. : ) I should have known what Dust's language would be. When he gets comfortable in his chair at night, he always asks me if I could get him a bowl, and spoon, and milk, and cereal. I am constantly doing things for him. Dust's language is acts of service. This means I have to clean, cook, and do most things for him. Well I pretty much do that anyway. Recently when he asked me to do something I replied with "yes I will do that because you need acts of service." I should at least give him a hard time about it.

Git-r-done

Dust and I were listening to Larry the cable guy do a stand-up comedy routine on tv. (not Dust's typical humor) I was reminded again that my sense of humor is that of a teenage boy. I laugh at fart jokes. This is something that I am not really proud of. I thought that maybe one day I would grow out of this phase. I can't seem to change that part of my humor, though. We watch Blue Collar tv with Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Envall, and Larry the cable guy. There are times that they might get a little crude, which I don't like.

I also find the red-neck jokes humorous. Maybe it is because I grew up in southern MO. It was pretty much the norm for people to make fun of simple country folk. There are all sorts of hillbilly souvenirs that you can buy in Branson.

I often tease Dust about having a girl sense of humor. I have noticed that women seem to laugh at his jokes and think he's funny. He does a better job than I do at talking to other women. I on the other hand have a typical guy sense of humor and tend to want to laugh and talk about what the guys do. I am trying to focus on talking more girl talk. I don't want anyone to get the wrong impression if I am around other guys.

Git-r-done is a mantra that I have been using when I am at work. It motivates me to plough through my tasks and it gives me a laugh.

Phlegmatic

Since personality tests have come up over the past few weeks, I have gotten interested in taking the ones that I haven't yet. Last week I took the phlegmatic, sanguine, melancholy, choleric test. I made Dust take it also. I found out that I am phlegmatic melancholy and Dust is melancholy phlegmatic.

Everyone knows what their weaknesses or bad habits are even though sometimes we like to deny it. Or we rationalize that we aren't that bad. As I read the weaknesses for phlegmatic personality it hit me hard. I kinda knew that I had those problems but seeing all of them listed before me was overwhelming. I realize that it is just the author's opinion and I shouldn't take it to heart. It doesn't necessarily mean that I am all of those things either.

I just looked up phlegmatic in the dictionary. It said pertaining to phlegm. That definately describes me! I have always had trouble with phlegm in my throat. : ) It also said having a calm, sluggish temperament, unemotional. Well the unemotional part is incorrect for my personality. Dust can tell you that I am definately emotional.

Ode to a Bobber

Hold, release and plop you go
When you will sink I do not know
You look so lonely out in the blue
The fishes below have no clue

My eyes affixed to your slight sways
In a moment you no longer lay
Furiously I try to reel on
Looking down my line is gone

Of all those owned by my father
You were his favorite little bobber
We watched for the place you would appear
But couldn't find you far or near

In the end who is the winner?
If the fish is found it will be dinner

I love your hair

I was encouraged or rather given the assignment to do my creative writing on the line, "I love your hair."

This line means several things to me. One, it is usually an ice breaker for the beginning of small talk. I will let you guys know right now that I tend to hate small talk. I know it is essential in getting to know someone, so I can't dismiss small talk altogether. It does help when you have the awkward silences with people in the elevator. I know I have used the line also with people that I didn't know so well. It can be an encouraging word to make someone's day!

I know we all told Roaming that we loved her new haircut. Those were all genuine compliments because the style looked good on her.

Two, the problem I have with the line, "I love your hair," is that in the past it has been said to me by people that are usually consumed with their looks. It reminds me of something a valley girl would say in the movie Clueless. I know I shouldn't label this line as shallow. I have received genuine compliments from people using that line. I realize now that I can't tell someone's motivation behind saying, "I love your hair." I am probably analyzing this simple statement too much. I have been around Dust too long. : )

Design and Colors

Mr. Sunrise is very talented in design and layout. I realized this again as I watched him arrange napkins at a reception Sunday night. I was just going to place them in a stack at the end of the table. He had the idea of spacing them out in rows and alternate the color in each row. It really did look nice. The shades of yellow and red looked good together. (Spain's flag colors) Vernal did an awesome job with the centerpieces, quizzes, and being the project manager. : )

Should this make me feel insecure as a woman? Since decorating tends to be a woman's thing? I know Forrest hates the men/women stereotypes. I can guess what his answer will be. Mr. Sunrise has done most of the arrangement of pictures and furniture in our house. I am quite happy with what he has done. We bought some fake fern greenery and Mr. Sunrise picked the pot to put it in and arranged it in the green styrofoam.

There is one thing that I can do that the Mr. can't. Tell colors apart. Poor Mr. Sunrise is colorblind. So at least I am needed in that department. I can tell him which colors clash and which ones go good together. The Mr. can tell you that I get excited about colors. It does make me sad though that he can't experience color with me.

The DMV

Today I actually had to step foot in the DMV. There are so many things that you can take care of online or by mail now that I haven't had to go there in person. I did our vehicle registration renewal by mail and thought that I would never have to wait in line there again. Apparantly, to reissue a title for a car requires you to be present.

We just paid off the lien on our car (my car) and we needed to get the title reissued. I have to admit that the DMV has made some changes since I was there last. The machine that gives you a ticket has been upgraded. You have to push the button for what you need done and then the machine gives you a number. I pushed "Title" and out came a number. I heard over the intercom, "Number 267 please go to station # 17." I looked down at my number and it said 269. "Awesome!" I thought to myself. The first time they call your number is to talk to you to make sure you know what you're doing and that you've got all the paperwork you need. That only took me 30 seconds. The guy told me that the second time they call my number, I can get my title taken care of.

So I sat back down and watched the new digital display of numbers. They announce and show two numbers at a time on the screen so I have to pay attention. I do get distracted though by the people walking by because I'm a people watcher. But that's a whole different blog.

I only had to wait maybe 15 minutes until my number was called. The lady that helped me was extremely nice. That doesn't happen too often; especially at the DMV. I was out of there in no time. So, to anyone out there that has to make a visit to the DMV, don't sweat it. Your wait can't be near as long as it used to be.