spy

I know I have mentioned before about spying on my neighbors. And that I am already the nosy old woman that is always looking out the window. : ) I have started noticing the lady that lives caddy-corner behind us. On Monday, NJ and I played outside in the backyard because it was close to 60 degrees out there. I noticed the lady watching us play and I smiled at her and she smiled back. She was very obvious about staring at us and it made me feel a little weird. She was leaning against the door frame with the door open.

The last two days I have looked out our back door and have noticed the lady standing with the door open again. It has snowed and has been very cold. It doesn't make any sense to me to stand with the door open. She has a long red housecoat on which I think would be cold too. Has she done this wondering if we were going to come outside and play? Or is this something she always does around 10 in the morning?

Sometimes I wonder if I should have been a spy. Maybe I am too obvious at spying and would never have been a good undercover agent. I think it would be cool to be on a stake-out. Some may think it would be a little boring. I am a boring person though. I think I will stick to watching my FBI tv shows and movies.

at least we have a pot to pee in

Dust has been working on the bathroom for almost two weeks now. Our house has been in disarray. We have been brushing our teeth at the kitchen sink. That is where our toothbrushes and toothpaste live now. Dust shaves in the shower. So his shave gel, mirror, and razor have been on the tub. We had emptied the medicine cabinet and vanity drawers into a box that had been in the office. We would dig through the box to find the item we needed. Last Saturday, Dust hung our new cabinet on the wall. So, it was nice to organize our stuff into that. Our upstairs toilet has been sitting in the area above the stairs by the door to the garage. I am thankful though, that we have a 2nd toilet in the basement. It has been cold to go down in the basement to use it. Sitting on the cold toilet seat is sure to wake you up though!

I really don't want to complain. I know that soon enough we are going to have a nice bathroom to use upstairs. I don't like the inbetween stages though. I have had some interesting living conditions in my life. I lived in a farmhouse in elementary school. My brother and I shared a room for awhile and a closet. In sixth grade, we made the upstairs attic room my bedroom. It was too cold to sleep in during the winter, so I slept on the living room couch. We had a wood stove for heat. In the summer, we spent most of the time in my parents bedroom because that is where the only air conditioner for the house was. I feel really blessed for the house that we have now. I feel ashamed for not being content with it sometimes.

rough week

We all have colds in our family. It has hit us all hard. NJ had a fever for about 3 days. My body has ached and I have no energy. NJ has been extremely clingy and wants me to carry him around the house all day. So, I haven't been getting the rest that I need. Poor Dust is going to work with his cold. We have plans to re-do our bathroom this weekend. I am going to tell Dust to rest as much as he can.

Last weekend, Dust painted our bathroom a medium brown color. He put up a new light fixture and mirror. This weekend, we need to put the new sink/vanity in and put down tile flooring. I had debated on whether to get a pedestal sink and decided against it. I want a cohesive look in the bathroom and had a hard time picking out individual items that matched together. Our mirror, vanity and cabinet unit that goes over the toilet matches. It is a cherry wood, which I usually don't like. I am using three different shades of brown in the bathroom. I hope the finished product looks put together.

a lesson in sharing

Yesterday, I babysitted two little girls. They came over to my house while their mother went to a doctor's appt. The girls were 2 and 3 1/2 years old. The girls made themselves right at home and started playing with NJ's barnyard playset. That didn't set well with NJ. He started crying the minute that they were there. I hugged one of the girls to comfort her from her mother leaving and NJ looked at me with eyes of betrayal. He cried when one girl sat in his blue Thomas the Train chair. The youngest girl picked up his beloved horse stuffed animal and NJ yelled, "Neigh, Neigh." (The horse's name is Neigh)

NJ was pretty upset the entire time that the girls were here. I had to comfort NJ most of the time so I wasn't as available for the girls. I kept an eye on them the entire time though. The girls sat very well at the table and had a snack and played with some toys. They were both content to find a toy for awhile and play with it. They were very low maintenance.

I think the whole experience was a good lesson in sharing for NJ. He needs to realize that there are other kids besides himself and it is ok if they touch his toys. I know this will be an ongoing lesson especially if he has a sibling someday.

dig deeper

Dig deeper. This is my motto for 2008. Let me explain. I was reading an article in MomSense magazine titled Stuck Places. It is about feeling stuck in your life when you have little control over the circumstances. Winter weather and sick children can make you feel stuck at home. There was a story about a woman that went to a retreat center to get "filled up". The woman told the nun that she felt dry and empty. The nun replied, "You know that when the well runs dry, the farmer doesn't refill it. He digs deeper."

Yesterday on the drive home from our Christmas vacation, I kept saying to myself dig deeper. NJ was extremely fussy and uncomfortable. The portable DVD player wasn't helping him any more. He had a hard time falling asleep for his nap. I tried not to get frustrated as well because I was tired also. I had to tap into my inner resources and with God's help, I didn't loose my cool.

This stage of life is only temporary. The way it is now isn't the way it will always be.

pieces of tape

"If you're using more than three pieces of tape, then you know that you're doing something wrong." Pam from The Office said the previous line to Roy regarding wrapping Christmas presents. This was the Christmas episode from last year that played last Thursday because of the writer's strike.

That line keeps going through my head every time I have been wrapping presents this last week. I am not a good present wrapper. In the past, I have used about 6 pieces of tape per present. Two pieces on each end of the box and two on the back of the box.

Dust, however, is an excellent present wrapper. I noticed years ago that he barely used any tape when wrapping gifts. I thought it was odd at the time. I guess I just didn't know the correct way to wrap a present.

precious moments

NJ and I took a walk yesterday when the ice was melting off the trees. It was one of those moments that I knew I should treasure. He was holding my hand and we were walking on the sidewalk in our neighborhood. NJ would say car when we would walk by a car in a driveway. I kept saying ice and he would repeat after me. We stepped on ice and ice fell on top of us. There will be a time when he won't want to hold my hand and talk a walk with me. I savored that special outing we had.

friends

Some of you read the last post that I deleted. I was hurt by somebody and I just needed to let it all out. I talked about the situation recently with one of the girls and I was wrong about some things. They are all not as close of friends that I had thought. One girl thought that I was with a relative at Deanna Rose because I was standing close to another lady. I don't know why I wasn't invited to Deanna Rose with them. I am going to let that go and move on.

I don't know where I fit in. I am trying to be friendly with everybody. Being social is complicated now that we have NJ. I think that I have to just get used to that. I remember the good old days when we would go out with all of you guys on the weekends. I feel alone here because we don't have any family nearby. When I needed something, T was always there. She is still there for me in spirit.

I really do enjoy going to MOPS on Thursday mornings. I love the ladies that sit at my table. I am trying to build relationships there. I am trying to focus on the positive things in life.

among the grey-haired

Sunday morning Dust, NJ, my Mom and Dad and I went to a church service of sorts in Branson, MO. It was held at the IMAX theatre in a smaller theatre. The songs/sermonette was done by a Baptist family turned pentecostal -is how they describe themselves. My parents have attended there before and mentioned that they usually only have about 20 people there. When we opened the theatre door, we saw a sea of grey-haired people. Several tour buses had unloaded. There were four seats left beside the door and we grabbed them. NJ did well for about 3o minutes. I kept him busy with a sippy cup of milk and graham crackers. The music was loud so it didn't matter if he got fussy. You were supposed to yell where your tour bus was from as they went around the auditorium. Everyone was from Oklahoma it seemed.

The logic behind going here was that we could take NJ out easily enough if he got cranky. I didn't want to send NJ to a strange church nursery. Mom and I took NJ out to run around the IMAX lobby. We walked around the gift shops also.

After church, we ate at a family type restaurant attached to the IMAX. I did feel out of place there also. Mainly grey-haired.

the winner

This weekend I determined that Dust could win any contest he entered. He won first place for his Halloween costume contest at work. And on Saturday, we won the "mocktail " contest at the elevate party.

The church provided a bunch of ingredients and let us make our own smoothies to enter into the contest. Dust was the brain behind our masterpiece. We kept it simple: ice cream, ice, blackberries, blueberries, raspberry flavoring, ginger ale, and milk. (if I remember correctly) When we taste tested it, I told Dust it was too bland. So we punched it up a little and put it in the blender again. We served it with whipped cream and a blueberry on top. Dust named it "Blue Brew" It was going to be "Dust's Blue Brew" but then the judges would know who made it.

There were four judges doing the taste testing. They spent a long time making their decision. They had a score sheet and I'm not too sure what all the categories were. I was shocked when they read our number and "Blue Brew" as the first place winner. I thought we would get beat out by the oreo and mint drink.

Dust is awesome. He was a good project manager. It kinda felt like a task on the Apprentice. I am going to enter Dust into everything now!

Chuck

Dust and I have been watching the tv show "Chuck" on Monday nights. I was hoping it would help me with my "Alias" withdrawal. It seems to be more of a comedy than a drama about the CIA. The show is about Chuck who has the government's secrets stored in his brain. He fixes computers/electronics for "The Nerd Herd" at the Buy More store. The CIA and the NSA watch him 24/7. It is a little bit cheesy, but I like it. I think the character development was done well. Our good friend Marshall from "Alias" was on "Chuck" last night. It was good to see him again. He was a bad guy this time though.

I hope this show makes it another season. It is a good Monday night show.

"you have gas"

We put in an order at Home Depot for a new water heater. Yesterday, I answered the phone call to set up the install appt. I assumed it was just going to be a call to set up a time for someone to come out. It ended up being a call with a lot of questions that I didn't know the answer to. When someone asks me questions really fast over the phone, for some reason I blurt out an answer back whether it's correct or not. The lady asked, "Do you have gas, blah, blah, electric." I answered electric. The lady on the phone had me go down to the breaker box and get some sort of info from it. I told her that I didn't see the breaker that had the water heater label by the side of it. I then said maybe we didn't have electric. She asked me, "Are there pipes coming from the top of the water heater. Yes. "You have gas," the lady said.

I felt like such an idiot. She then had to change the info. on her computer which took some time. She apologized for the delay. I told her it was my fault for telling you we had electric in the first place. I know absolutely nothing when it comes to basic household knowledge. I am from the traditional mindset of the 1950's that that's the man's job and I don't need to know it. I definitely need to come into the present century. I need to care about whether or not our water heater runs on gas. Or that we have copper plumbing. Dust is going to go over some basic crap with me sometime. I hope that I care enough to retain the info. I don't want to look like an idiot anymore.

nature center

Last Saturday, Dust, NJ and I went to the Ernie Miller Nature Center in Olathe. I am always looking for a new place to take NJ for a walk. It was small but nice. I was used to the Springfield, MO Nature Center which is quite large.

The one thing that was interesting was that there was a birthday party going on. That was a new concept for me---birthday parties at a nature center. There were people dressed up along the pathway in costumes portraying nursery rhymes/stories. When we passed Johnny Appleseed, I thought he looked familiar. And I was right. We ran into his wife coming out of the nature center. We will have to tease him about being Johnny Appleseed.

Is a birthday party at a nature center a geeky thing to do? Maybe for a pre-schooler it would be cool. Who knows, NJ might have one there some day.

frugal

I have been analyzing my purchasing behavior. I realized that I am kinda wishy washy when it comes to spending. Sometimes I am very frugal and other times I make excessive purchases. I make the stupidest mistakes financially sometimes and sometimes I am extremely cheap.

We got professional photos taken at Target for the holidays. I was talked into buying the Christmas cards-(4x7). I probably should have taken a picture at home and gone through Wal-Mart.com for the Christmas cards. Wal-Mart is around 12 cents a picture, i think. Oh, well.

NJ has some clothes that are too small for him. I had him wear these around the house. Maybe I am being too cheap and should go out and get him some more shirts/pants at Target. I tend to make bad decisions on clothing for myself. I have clothes that don't look right on me but I didn't try to return them to the store either. I usually end up realizing that the clothes aren't right for me after I have washed and worn them.

Dust has mentioned that my philosophy on grocery shopping is buying only what I need for the week. (Just in Time inventory) It is probably just me being cheap. I used to only put $5 of gas in my car at a time. Is that being cheap? Since I've been married to Dust, I always fill my tank to full. Mostly for the convenience. I was able to get by with only putting $5 at a time in my car during college because Dust drove me around.

I wish I could find a balance. I don't want to be too cheap but I don't want to make foolish excessive purchases either.

fam time

Miss Carisma visited us this past weekend. We were able to squeeze some fam time in around Dust's studying. Dust took Monday and Tuesday off work to study and have fun with little sis.

Yesterday, we went to the Overland Park Arborteum/Botanical gardens. The landscaping was excellent! I liked the mini-waterfall and the streams that bordered the paved walkway. We did go on some walking trails. NJ had a bumpy ride in his stroller when we got off the asphalt and went into the woods. He was sleeping so maybe the ride kept him asleep. It was nice to get some sun and exercise.

Miss Carisma and I rented a movie on Monday while Dust was studying. The movie was called, "Mozart and the Whale." It was a romantic comedy about two people with Asperger's syndrome. I liked it.

outside

It is so much fun playing with NJ outside. He loves to run all around our backyard. The smile and excitement on his face is so awesome. I sat him on the limb of a tree in our yard and he thought that was so cool. Experiencing things like sitting in a tree for the first time is so neat to watch.

The one thing that bothers NJ about the backyard is the fence. He is drawn to it and starts shaking it. He doesn't seem to like the limitation. Sometimes NJ acts like a free spirit that doesn't want to be fenced in and sometimes he can't cling to me hard enough.

There is something about being outside that is nourishing to both mother and child. The sun perks me up. I especially love it when the humidity is low. We are gettting into some nice fall weather that is baby friendly!

stir crazy

Yesterday morning I was a bit stir crazy. I decided that NJ and I needed to get out of the house. I knew that Toys R US didn't open until 10 am. So, I thought I would see if there was a park nearby. I stopped by the public pool nearby because I thought there was a playground there. No, I was wrong. Just a basketball court. So, NJ and I waited in the Toys R US parking lot with the other moms and their kids anxiously waiting for the store to open. NJ got so excited when he saw the Diego toys and books. I ended up buying a Diego book because he didn't want to put it down. I was going to buy him some more toys anyway. I don't have that many age appropriate books for him. He is bending the pages on most of his books that are too old for him right now. I also bought him a beaded maze block. It is a wooden box with a wire beaded maze on top. He played with it all afternoon yesterday. He loves it!

I am going to have to find something to do to get out of the house more often. We have MOPS on the 2nd and 4th Thursdays. I enjoyed the meeting and am looking forward to the next one. I am thinking about taking NJ to the Deanna Rose Farmstead next week. They had a good playground for toddlers.

I always thought I was a homebody. Until I am home all the time.

pics of NJ

The top pic is NJ after his haircut. The middle pic is NJ before his haircut at Bass Pro. The bottom pic is NJ right after his haircut from Dust.

Dust, the barber

Dust gave NJ his first official haircut on Saturday. We recently purchased an electric hair trimming set--what barbers use. I was not familiar with how to use the different size combs on the trimmer, so Dust was the barber. NJ was a very good patient. He sat still on my lap as the buzzing trimmers went over his scalp. I know that I wouldn't have been able to swipe my little boy's beautiful hair away. NJ had some really long bangs! There were some long pieces in the pile on the floor after the haircut.

My little NJ looks very clean cut now. It wasn't a buzz cut--there is some length to it. He did, however, lose the golden glow that his hair once had. His hair seems duller to me now. But he is still my cute little boy! I will post some pictures in a later post.

Labor Day weekend

Dust, NJ and I went to visit my family in southern MO. We had a really great time. On Saturday, we all went to "The Landing". It's similar to "Legends" in KC. My brother's girlfriend also came with us. It was our first time meeting her-she's really nice. We had dinner at Garfield's. Dash, we didn't have the steak-a-lada this time. But we all had steak besides my brother's girlfriend. She's a vegetarian.

On Sunday, we went to SDC. It was extremely crowded. We were hoping to make the church service at the Wilderness Church at 11 am. The traffic and crowds got us there too late. Dust mentioned that we rode the barn swing ride. It was pretty cool! NJ enjoyed watching us from below. Grams (my mom) said that his head followed the pendulum back and forth. It was southern gospel picnic weekend. We saw Dottie Rambo in concert. It was a blessing that NJ slept through the entire concert sitting with Gramps (my dad).

On Monday, we went to Bass Pro in Springfield. It was my Dad's birthday and he picked Hemingway's for lunch. NJ enjoyed watching the fish in the equariums. He wanted to run around the store--which was the bad thing. Overrall though NJ was pretty good all weekend! I really enjoyed being with my family and we had lots of fun!

walk across the room

In Sunday School class, we are going to read a book by Bill Hybels called, "Just a walk across the room." I just read a few pages of the book. The author tells a story of a Muslim man that was at a party. He was standing alone in the corner when a man noticed him and left his "circle of comfort". This man started a conversation with the Muslim man. The two ended up meeting for coffee and discussing their different religions. The Muslim man came to know Christ and it all began because a man decided to walk across the room.

Sometimes it can be scary to walk across the room to talk to someone. You would think because I am shy that it would be a hard thing for me to do. I can walk across the room and say hello but I don't have much more than that. Recently, I was in a social setting and I decided to walk across the room and say hello to someone. When I said hello, the person immediately left and said something about getting something to eat. This really hurt my feelings. It was quite obvious that I came over there to talk to this person. Am I really that awful to have to talk to? I was just trying to be nice because I know how lonely it can be to be standing alone. I hope that I am misinterpreting this whole scenerio. Maybe the person wanted to be alone or this person genuinely got hungry at that moment and decided to get something to eat. I am going to try to not let this event hinder me from walking across the room again.

"dream of doing nothing"

I like Peter Gibbon's response in the movie "Office Space" when asked what he would like to do if he had a million dollars. Absolutely nothing. The question is supposed to help you find your career job. Dust and I like to joke about our dream of doing nothing.

Dust and I also joke about a line we heard on a "Will & Grace" episode. "Oh, he thinks we do things. Does he know that we don't do things?" I am notorious for saying things that I want to do or am going to do but never do. Shock of all shocks..I am actually doing something.

This week I started painting the floor boards in our house white. They were originally wood color but the previous owners painted them white. With the toy bus and other toys banging into the wall, the paint has chipped really bad. I am actually doing something! I got off my butt and started painting! It already looks a lot better. Also, we actually ordered some new bathroom and bedroom doors for the house!

Even though I have a dream of doing nothing, it isn't as fulfilling as actually doing something. I am embarrassed when I think about how I could have improved our house years ago, but I decided to sit on my butt instead.

cartoons

Cartoons have sure changed since I was a kid. NJ and I watch Dora the Explorer every morning at 7:30 am. I think it's kinda creepy that Dora asks me a question and waits for my reply. "What part of the trip did you enjoy?" pause, stare, total silence for at least 15 seconds, then, "I liked that part, too." "Go, Deigo, Go" has the same format. I guess cartoons are trying to be more interactive. The characters ask, "Do you see the "fill in the blank" ? Where is it? They do seem to be more educational too. I think it's funny but also good that before a cartoon starts on the Noggin channel it tells me what my child will learn. Your child will learn problem solving skills on Dora and interpersonal and intrapersonal skills by watching "Little Bear" and "Oswald".

I am embarrassed to admit it but my life has become a series of cartoons. The Noggin channel is playing in my house all day long. One of my favorite cartoons is "The Backyardigans". I used to make fun of this cartoon before NJ was born! Speaking of Backyardigans, does anyone know what animal Uniqua is? A salamander or bug? She is pink, so I am assuming that she is a girl. Sometimes she talks with a boy voice though. She seems to be interested in boy things too. Maybe she's just a tomgirl?? It's like the "Pat" clip on SNL.

trip to the grocery store

This morning I decided to attempt to go to the grocery store with NJ. I figured that I need to get out of the house more during the weekdays so I don't feel so isolated. We both got ready and left about 9 am.

When we got there, I put him in the cart seat. He seemed ok for a few minutes. He stared at a little girl walking around with her mommy. He got scared and started grunting for mommy. He tried to grab on to me and looked at me with a desparate look. He has been in a clingy stage for awhile now. NJ started crying and I decided to get him out of the cart. If you have ever heard NJ cry, you know how loud he can get. I attempted to push the cart and hold him at the same time. I shifted NJ from hip to hip. I could push the cart straight with one hand only for a short distance. I thought he might be calmed down enough to put him back in the cart. Nope, he screamed again. We put on quite a show I am sure. I got a few stares. In some ways I am glad that he screamed when I put him in the cart seat because it validated my reasoning of holding him. I tried to buckle him in the cart seat about 4 to 5 times while I was shopping. I was going to buy a 12 pk of Pepsi. I can't hold him and pick up a 12 pk at the same time. Since he wouldn't stay in the seat, I put him down on the ground. NJ fell back and hit his head on the metal rack. I felt like a terrible mother at that point. I decided not to bother with the pop cans and continued down the aisle while trying to comfort NJ.

Apparantly, NJ dropped his pacifier around the meat section. I didn't realize it until a couple of aisles later. I hurried as fast as I could to the check-out lady. She said that it looked like I had my hands full. I explained the situation. I put NJ back in the cart seat so I could pay. He, of course, screamed again. The check-out lady said,"What a loud noise to come from a small baby". Before we went out the door, I put him in the seat and just let him cry. He seemed ok while I was putting the groceries in the trunk.

I have decided not to attempt to go to the grocery store alone with NJ again until he is out of this clingy stage.

clutter free

I have been on a mission to clutter free the house. I started cleaning out the storage space in the basement. We had thrown boxes and all kinds off stuff in there. It was time to organize! I have a pile of items to give away. I also have a pile of trash. We feel bad putting all of it out on trash day. We will save some to put out next week. Mostly big boxes that the baby car seats came in.

My next step is to buy some plastic containers to put stuff in. There is NJ's baby stuff that needs to be stored away nicely. I am struggling a little bit on how to organize the house. Our methods so far haven't worked. Our main problem is that we are pack rats. We also tend to let things pile up and not deal with items immediately. I would be open to any advice.

I love watching the tv show "Clean House". The team tries to de-clutter the house and find things to sell at a yard sale for money to redesign the rooms. I would love for someone to come to my house and give me some new designed rooms with storage containers!

Dust is 28 today!

Happy 28th Birthday Dust!!! We are going to see the new Simpsons movie tonight. I feel good about the sitter that is watching NJ tonight.

I told Dust the other day that I wish I was just turning 28. I will be the big 30 next year.

Have a wonderful day! We love you!

walking fool

NJ has finally gotten the hang of walking! He had his first steps around June 21st when his grandparents were visiting. On July 6th, NJ decided that he was going to walk or else! He took a few steps and fell and got right back up! He spent a couple hours that night trying to walk around the house. We were proud of him for not giving up. NJ is a determined little boy when he sets his mind to doing something.

On our vacation, NJ improved his balance when walking! He really enjoyed walking around Grandma's living room. He had persistance there too! He even wanted to walk outside.

My back feels a lot better now that I'm not bending over to help NJ learn to walk! It has been great watching him walk around the house now that we've been back. My day has just gotten easier!

full-time stay at home mom

This has been my first week as a full-time stay at home mom. On NJ's birthday, we had a wonderful day playing at home. He has taken two naps a day all week! Even I took advantage of nap time and occasionally took a nap myself. NJ is so energetic that I definitely need to take naps to keep up with him.

I am living my dream right now. My ultimate long-term goal has always been to be a stay at home mom. I have a sense of fullfillment. Maybe I should make some more goals now. Raising NJ is a priority goal.

Some people say that I will get bored. I really don't think that I will.

the scooter

Dust's parents gave NJ his birthday gifts early. The big gift was a scooter--a school bus that you can ride on or push. He loves to take rides on it! His feet don't touch the ground if he sits on it. We were all exhausted this past weekend from pushing NJ all around the house.

NJ does occasionally like to push the scooter. There is a big handle on the back that he puts one hand on and he uses his other hand to hold my hand. If I also try to put my other hand on the handle, NJ will remove my hand. He is either being independent or selfish.

The scooter also has buttons that make noise and play a song. We have them memorized now: "Everyone sit down, let's go to school! Stop and Go, Stop and Go, on to school and take it slow. With a Beep, Beep, Stomp, Stomp, all around the town, Stop and Go and 'round and 'round."

11 days and counting.. and reflecting on life after baby

I have 11 more work days until I leave the work force to be a stay at home mom! I am training my replacement right now. Things seem to be going well there. She watched me do the job for two weeks and now I get to watch her do the job. I know it sounds weird but that's what the boss wants.

Balancing work, housework, and NJ has been difficult. I have been stretched in ways I never thought possible. I was used to only alloting the amount of time it took me to get ready in the morning. Now, I have to add at least a half hour for feeding NJ and dressing him. And I have to allot enough time in the morning to get the house in decent order before T comes over to watch NJ. There are mornings that I have been awake for about three hours before I even get to work. I have become even more disciplined and structured because of this. I remember going at least 4 to 5 days between running the dishwasher before NJ came. I am not proud of that. When I was working full time before NJ was born, I would leave the week days dishes in the sink until the weekend and then run the dishwasher. Now, I run the dishwasher every night so NJ has clean bottles for the next day. I also seem to do a load or two of laundry every day. I used to only do laundry one day a week. And I fit it in about 2-3 loads.

I am looking forward to a more stress-free life!

more NJ pics

Dust has some NJ pics on his site. I had wanted to post some too. I don't really have much to say these days. Enjoy! Have a good Memorial Day!

deluge

Have you ever heard a word and thought, "that's a cool sounding word" ? I heard the word deluge the other day and really liked the way it sounded. It was in the song, "Landslide of Love" by the Newsboys. "Let's get drenched under God's good rain, caught in a deluge of mercies." I like the rest of the song. "Like a pebble clings to dirt, we're still clinging to bedrock sin. Let's get swept off our feet again. Caught in a landslide of love."

I hadn't heard the word deluge in quite a while. It's not really a part of someone's everyday vocabulary. I learn most of my words now from Dust. I guess it hasn't made his vocabulary. Or maybe it has and I have tuned it out. : ) just kidding, Dust.

figuring people out

It's hard for me to make small talk with people that I don't know. There are situations where you need to make conversation -like when you are getting your hair cut, or going to the dentist, or dr. office. I try to size people up immediately on whether they might have kids because I have that to talk about now.

I went to the dentist on Wednesday. The hygeinist (sp?) and I struggled at first to come up with small talk. I saw a picture of a little girl. I asked if that was her daughter. No, she said it was the dentist's granddaughter. She didn't mention that she had kids and I figured that if she did she would say something. She asked if I had any vacations planned. I told her my cousin is getting married in July in Michigan and we might make a vacation out of it. She then mentioned going on a river rafting trip with her teenage son. I then assumed that she is divorced. She made reference to the son's father. She asked if I had seen any good movies lately. Usually, that is my hot topic of discussion. But with the baby, I haven't seen many movies lately. Finally, the dentist arrived and we were released from talking.

pranks

I enjoy watching pranks being pulled on people. I am usually not creative enough to think of ones of my own. However, I eagerly join the bandwagon if one is going on. The tv show, The Office, has had some great jokes: calculators in jello, cell phone put in the ceiling rafters, desk put in the men's room.

At a previous job, a co-worker set out some jelly beans for people to eat. We didn't tell anybody that they were bertie-bots. (jelly belly's prank jelly beans) flavors were: puke, boogers, hot peppers. Another co-worker came up and took a handful of the jelly beans. We couldn't go through with it. We had to tell the co-worker they were prank jelly beans.

In college, I took a picture of my roommate on the toilet. And then put it on the bulletin board in the dorm lobby. That is my extent of pranks. I was actually mad at her because she did something to me. I too k the picture in the first place because she always left the door open, and I thought that might teach her.

notice

I put my notice in at work today! We are at a point now financially where we can afford for me to stay home with NJ. I am so excited! I did however agree to train my replacement. My boss wanted me to give him about a 4 month notice. So it looks like I will be working until the end of July. I know it sounds crazy that I agreed to a 4 month notice. I didn't want to leave the company hanging.

T has done a great job watching NJ. It will be sad not to see her everyday.

my faith

I have been thinking about how my faith appears to other people. Do I come across as a genuine person living a consistent christian life? I hope so. Am I letting God use me when He needs me? Or do I rationalize not doing something or saying something for Christ because of fear?

I was listening to Greg Long's song, "Fifteen" yesterday and it made me cry. Usually I just think these type of songs are cheesy sounding. "If it takes fifteen times to hear about Jesus, for someone to believe. I may be the 3rd, I may be the7th, there may be years inbetween. What if I'm fifteen?" I think there were times that I may have been and I didn't come through. I then started thinking, why would God keep me around if I'm not doing anything for Him? I am just taking up space.

I really want to be useful. I think I have been lazy lately. I want to be different.

balance

I received some good advice from an old friend yesterday. I realized that I needed more of a balance in my life in regards to taking care of myself. I told this friend that I was exhausted. She couldn't understand why. She said, "You're not one of those moms that won't put their baby down in the play pen and will sometimes skip showers." Yeah, I was. I hadn't been taking a break for myself. I felt sad about going to work and not having time with NJ. So, when we were together, I crawled around with him and was with him all the time. Just this week, I started putting NJ in the playpen in front of the tv while I was getting things ready in the morning. My mornings have been less stressful. Before, I was sitting on the floor blow drying my hair with NJ right there beside me.

I took some time out for myself yesterday. I got finished with my work, so I left early. I went to get a haircut! I can't remember the last time I took time to get my hair cut. That's why it grew out! I also went to use some of the gift cards I got for X-mas! I went to Kohl's and bought an outfit. I am feeling really good about myself. And not so guilty about letting NJ watch tv so I can take care of the house and myself!

battle of the wills

We knew when NJ was just a month old that he had a strong will. He would fight to get free from our grip. NJ is fighting again in regards to taking his pedialyte. NJ has been suffering from vomiting and diahrrea since Tuesday. The doctor said that I should give him 2 to 4 ounces of pedialyte every time he has diahrrea.

NJ refuses to drink the pedialyte from the bottle. He knows that his formula comes from the bottle and if it isn't in there, he pitches a fit. He cries so hard that I have to stop to calm him down. I tried giving it with a spoon and he turned his head each time and closed his mouth. I have tried different types of spoons, cups and bottles. I was bound and determined to get that pedialyte down him. I turned on our baby einstein video to distract him. As he was mesmerized by the show, I slipped in 4 oz. of pedialyte by spoon! I won this round, NJ.

NJ update

Today NJ crawled/scooted forward for the first time! The last couple days he has attempted going forward, but it was hard to tell if it counted as crawling forward! T thinks it counts! He has been crawling backwards for several weeks now. It is really exciting! After I gave him a bath tonight, I put his pj's on and sat him on the floor. I walked over to his laundry basket and NJ definitely crawled forward after me. He was interested in his laundry basket. I can't wait for him to really take off crawling forward!

Last week, NJ pulled/pushed himself into a sitting position for the first time. It seemed natural for him when scooting backwards to sit himself up. It was awesome seeing that for the first time!

NJ has lots of "firsts" that I can look forward to experiencing with him.

Valentine's Day pasts

I was just thinking about what happened last Valentine's Day. I had my sonogram and found out that we were having a boy! That was a very special V-day. Dust and I have usually gone out to eat at restaurants to celebrate. I then tried to remember what I did for V-day before I met Dust. One V-day in particular stands out.

It was my freshman year in college. It was Valentine's Day and nobody on my floor had a date or plans. Some of the girls wanted to do makeovers to make them feel beautiful. Autumn decided that she wanted to color her hair, so a few of us went to Wal-Mart with her. Autumn had auburn hair and would switch back and forth between red and brown colors. Anyway, while we were at Wal-Mart, Lisa decided that I needed to do something with my hair. Autumn thought that I needed a perm. She said she could give me one in the dorm. I agreed to it. I sat in the bathroom and Autumn put my hair in rollers. Lisa came in to look and got nervous. She didn't think Autumn knew what she was doing. That scared me and they wouldn't let me look. The whole floor reaked of perm solution. Apparantly, we aren't allowed to give perms in the dorm. The end result wasn't that bad. It was curlier than I expected! Almost like a spiral perm, but I had chin length hair. I usually don't do things on a whim like that, but I was glad that I did.

"Things that make me gag"

I went to bed early tonight because I have a cold but couldn't sleep. My mind wouldn't shut off. So, a new post entered my mind and I decided to write it down now. Has anyone ever wondered what I really think about things? I used to say the line, "gag me with a spoon" in the '80's. This is a list of things that make me "gag."

• People who seek out to date and then marry someone with the same first initial that they have. They name their kids with that same first initial. And their dog. Too cutesie! gag.
• People who will only date/marry someone with the same hair color that they have. Example: Someone has blonde hair and they want to marry someone with blonde hair so that they can have kids with blonde hair. "gag" me. Can someone say superficial?
• Someone who only uses china dishes in their house for every meal. They serve pretzels and popcorn on china.
• Teapots. I can't stand them. Collections of teapots make me gag. Tea parties also make me gag. It seems too fake and showy.
• Fluffy dresses and tutus. Ballerinas. Leotards.
• Bows. Any type of bow on anything. Bows in hair.
• Tulle used in weddings.
• Couches with plastic covers on them. Usually in living rooms that are just for show and not used by anyone.
• Sequins.
• Any type of floral pattern.
• Most shades of the color pink.
• MaryKay parties and consultants and products.

I apologize if I offended anyone. Blame it on the cold medicine.

my time

I look forward to "my time" after the baby goes to bed every night. Dust has class on Monday and Wednesday nights so I am alone with my thoughts. I usually end up on the computer doing blogs, myspace, and emails. I love the peace and quiet. The dryer and the dishwasher are going so I do hear that rumble.

"My time" has dwindled down a lot. Especially on the weekends. I have some gift cards from Christmas that I haven't spent because I haven't had the time. I think once the weather gets warmer and NJ gets older, I will take him out with me to run my errands on Friday. Dust usually stays home with him on the weekends when I have to run errands. It's not the fun errands like shopping. I don't consider grocery shopping a fun errand.

I have some housework to do yet, but I will surf the net next.

paper cuts

I sliced my finger pretty good today on a piece of paper from my binder at work. I wrapped it in a tissue and pressed firmly. I took it off, but another drop of blood formed. I remembered that I put some band-aids in my purse. Last time I had a paper cut, I had no band-aid.

I am extremely prone to paper cuts. It's so embarrassing!! It sounds like such a nerdy problem. Dust has this problem too. : ) Not that Dust is nerdy or anything.

A year ago, my co-worker got a paper cut on her finger at work. I told her that I had a band-aid. I put it on her desk, but she didn't use it. I couldn't figure out why. I ran scenerios in my head of why someone wouldn't accept a band-aid. I knew she was a smoker but was hiding that fact from everyone. Maybe she didn't want to get the band-aid on fire when she smoked. I think I ended up taking the band-aid back off of her desk.

I think if I used more lotion on my hands I wouldn't have this problem. See Dust, I fixed my own problem. I guess I shouldn't talk about paper cuts anymore. : ) j/k (see Dust's blog)

know-it-all

The phrase "know-it-all" has negative connotations. It shouldn't be a bad thing to possess knowledge. The key is how you relay the information to others. And the attitude and tone. I have been trying to evaluate myself to see if I come across as a know-it-all.

There is a reason that I have been thinking about this. I have noticed that I get annoyed when I am around a "know-it-all." Sure everyone gets annoyed by that type of person. I think my reason has to do with the fact that I wanted to be the one to share the knowledge of whatever it was. A couple of people have stolen my thunder. (nobody in blog land : ) ) Maybe I just need to be quicker to talk. I think I have an inner desire to be a teacher, so I like to share things.

I told Dust that I wanted to come out and tell these people that he/she is a know-it-all. Dust said that wasn't a good idea. : ) A scripture verse came to mind today when I was thinking about all of this. It says something to the effect of "for as much as it depends on me, live peacefully with one another". That is kinda hard sometimes.

American Idol addict

Yes I have to admit that I am addicted to American Idol. I have been watching the tryouts that played last night and I am watching it tonight. I like the brother and sister that made it to Hollywood. They had pretty skin-their mom was white and dad was Pakistani maybe?

I bought Chris Daughtry's CD a couple weeks ago and have been listening to it in the car. I like his rocker voice but the songs are aimed at people younger than I. It seems that all pop/rock songs are about broken relationships with yourboyfriend/girlfriend. I can't relate.

I also received Carrie Underwood's CD for Christmas. I like her voice also but some of the lyrics I can't relate to. My brother teases me about liking her song, "Jesus, take the wheel." He thinks it's cheesey.

Maybe I will grow out of this Idol phase that I have been in. Or I might just think twice about buying the CD's.

quality time and laughter

I like to spend quality time hanging out with Dust. A friend from college used to tease me about how much time I used to spend with Dust. She was single and probably jealous though. She would say, "Every night is Dust night." Monday night, Tuesday night, Wednesday night etc. Of course all couples are inseparable when they first start dating.

Reading the Sunday comics is something that Dust and I like to do together. We also like to laugh about lines from tv shows and movies. Dust likes to quote stuff a lot. Laughter is very important in our family. Dust gets NJ to laugh a lot when they play and "rough house" together.

Dust enjoys showing me clips from u-tube that he thinks I will laugh at. He also shows me various comics online that he thinks I will laugh at. I usually need the laugh because I tend to take myself too seriously!

fresh start

I like January because it is the beginning of a new year and I feel like I have a fresh start on everything. I do try to make some new year's resolutions each year. They usually only last a couple months at the most. Here is a list of what I am working on:

• Reading the entire Bible in one year. My brother told me that he was doing it and I decided that I would also. We can encourage each other to stick with it. We are reading it chronologically. We are using the list on www.backtothebible.org. I think that trying to read it in 60 days is too hard and you won't have much comprehension.
• Having a healthier diet. I tend to eat a lot of junk food. I want to eat more salads and fruits and veggies. I want to limit my pop and chocolate intake.
• Investing time with people. I get annoyed when I am trying to work/get a task done and someone talks to me. I need to enjoy people more and establish better relationships.
• Taking time out to spend with NJ. Chores can always be pushed back especially to when he is sleeping. Play and be a kid again with him!

1st Christmas

This Christmas was special because it was NJ's 1st Christmas! At Grams and Gramps house he yawned through the opening of his gifts. NJ tried to help out with the ripping of the wrapping paper, though. At Grandma and Grandpa's house, NJ liked putting the tissue paper in his mouth and playing with it. He was getting cranky because it was his nap time so we had to hurry through his gifts.

Grandma had an exersaucer at her house for NJ to play in. It was a circus theme and had different animals sticking up on it. NJ loved putting them in his mouth. There was a seal, elephant, monkeys in a barrel, and a circus tent.

NJ was spoiled by both sides of the family. He got a lot of clothes and toys!

I think next Christmas will be even better. He will be walking around and talking then!

contraband heater

It is very cold in the office building that I work in. There is no thermostat in our suite to control the temp. Apparantly, the temp. in the whole building is controlled by maintenance. My co-worker has called to complain about the air many times. They are usually nice about it. They turned the temp up a degree for us. (She asked about space heaters and they are not allowed)

Last Friday, when I was off work, the building had trouble with the thermostat. My co-worker said it was 50 degrees. Our friends on the first floor went out to get space heaters. They blew some fuses in their office because they had several of the heaters going.

We knew the heaters were illegal, but our boss said that we could have one anyway. I have been nice and toasty warm with my heater. Sitting by the window makes it very cold. When I came into the office on Monday, I noticed that my heater was hidden in my bottom desk drawer. I asked my co-worker about it, and she said our boss wants us to hide them each night.

December stinks!

I don't look forward to December. It is the busiest month of the year. There are a million Christmas parties to go to where you have to bring a gift and meal. There is always a work dinner. Somewhere you have to fit in Christmas cards and buying gifts. We always travel to see both sides of the family. (I should explain that I get panic attacks when I think of everything that has to get accomplished.)

I would complain some more but I am feeling a little better about things. I think I have my Christmas shopping done! We did a lot of ordering online this year. We aren't buying as many gifts either as last year.

I am looking forward to seeing Roamer and Dar. Their party won't be so bad or stressful.

NJ

I haven't done a baby post in awhile. So, here is a NJ update. NJ turns 5 months old tomorrow! He has already started on solid foods. He doesn't seem too thrilled about the rice cereal though. I am going to try a different type of cereal soon. I am also considering starting him on some baby jar foods. I have noticed that NJ likes his formula and cereal made with warm water. He will not eat or drink anything that is cold. I am the same way! I have been heating his cereal up in the microwave before I give it to him.

NJ has the best laugh! Dust likes to push him up in the air and say "Whose the baby?" That usually gets a good giggle out of him. I got him to laugh really good today. He was lying down on a blanket and I would get right up in his face and say "Whose the baby?" He likes the inflection of the voice going up and down. He started touching my face when I was leaning over him.

When I change NJ's diaper, he likes to grab my arm. He will grab about anything in front of him. I have to watch my hair if it hangs down close to him. He likes to pull hair!

no tree

I am considering not putting up the Christmas tree this year. It is a lot of work putting the fake tree together. There is the lights, garland, and ornaments also. I don't know when I would have the time. I don't know when I am going to find the time to shop for Christmas presents either.

We will be going out of town for the holidays, so it somewhat seems pointless to put a tree up. We will be gone for 11 days. Then there is the work of taking it down.

I helped decorate my parent's Christmas tree over Thanksgiving. I secretly still view my parent's tree as my Christmas tree. It has all of my ornaments that I got growing up on it. : )

It basically boils down to the fact that I am lazy. I am ok to come out and admit that I am extremely lazy. : )

Nine years ago today......

Nine years ago today, Dust gave me a note that said he was interested in me. It was also miss carisma's 15th birthday! Happy Birthday! Dust told me that his sister was turning 16 and wanted to know what to buy her. I was messed up on miss Carisma's age for awhile.

Anyway, back to the story behind the note. I had started my work-study job cleaning the Academic Building. I was vacuuming a room on the first floor, when I saw my friend Pete in the window. I went out to see him and he told me to follow him because it was his job to distract me for awhile. Dust was supposed to leave the note on the floor. I ended up seeing him and he handed it to me and Pete and him ran off. The note said, "Golden, I wanted to let you know that I'm interested." He attached his school picture to the note. I was so excited! I couldn't wait to get off work. Dust started work an hour after I did. He cleaned the carpets in the cafeteria. When my friend and I walked back to the dorms after work, we stopped at the cafeteria door. I jumped up and down and waved at Dust. He waved back. I wanted to give him a note in return. I took my name plate that was attached to my dorm door by a magnet off and taped it to a note. I wrote the "feelings are mutual." My friend Pete stuck it in his mailbox at the dorm. Dust came back from work and Pete told him to check his mailbox. We met in the study room and Dust asked me out on a date for Friday. It would be a double-date with Pete.

The rest is history....

the maintenance guy

On the show "Scrubs" some of the doctors are "friendly" or friends with the janitor. I had a hard time believing that until recently. I just couldn't see where the doctors would have time to get to know him. I guess it's really the janitor that "bothers" the doctors.

My coworker and I have gotten to know the maintenance guy from our building. He gets bored and chit-chats with the office workers. The maintenance guy is named Rob. He remembered that I was pregnant and asked how the baby was when I returned from maternity leave.

Rob knows everything that goes on in the building. We told Rob that our boss's Wall Street Journal gets stolen about twice a month. (All the papers for the building gets tossed in the doorway on the first floor) He told us that he knows who does it but he wasn't going to tell us who it was. He came back after an hour from talking to us and brought us our Wall Street Journal. Rob had a talk with the person and told us that this person wouldn't do it anymore. This person thought that we had taken his by mistake. Rob told him that noone from our company gets to the building before 9 am, so that is why ours is always lying there. We were glad that the case was solved. This person is going to call the Wall Street when he doesn't get it. We will see about that.

what smell do you leave behind?

One day this week I was waiting to get on the elevator at work. I was going down to the first floor to pick up our mail in the mailroom. A man in a suit walked out of the elevator. As I walked by him and on to the elevator, I smelled wintergreen gum. The whole elevator smelled of the mint gum. I thought it amusing that one person and one stick of gum could leave that smell behind. That's when I wondered what kind of smell I left behind. Sometimes I smell like formula if the baby spits up on me.

Smells certainly get people's attention. If I asked you to name someone that wears heavy perfume/cologne, I bet you would have no trouble naming them off. We all know some guy that smells like he bathed in cologne. When I pick NJ up at the nursery at church, he reaks of ladies perfume. He gets a new scent each week because a different lady holds him each time. I smell the perfume all day on him if I don't change his outfit.

I hope I leave good smells and not bad smells.

independent thought

I was telling Dust the other day that I don't think that I have ever had an independent or original thought about anything. Maybe it's because I'm apathetic about almost everything. I have an "I don't care" attitude. I know that's bad, but it's hard to change.

Dust was laughing because at my job, independent thoughts are discouraged. Usually those would be encouraged at a job. My boss doesn't take well to new ideas. He has said no to almost everything that my co-workers have asked.

Maybe I have a hard time thinking outside the box. With accounting there isn't much outside the box thinking unless you refer to "creative bookkeeping". ( "Sure you can write that item off.") I love rules and I love staying within those rules. I find safety in what I know to be true.

I always had trouble in school when an assignment asked why you thought what the answer was. Somehow I always got marked wrong for "I don't care". : ) I always knew the answer to the question except when they asked why it was so. Maybe my legalistic upbringing had an effect.

Baby Jesus

It is Halloween night and I just got back from the Hallelujah House at our church. It is a walk-through the Bible event with skits and candy. A Halloween alternative. Anyway, NJ was baby Jesus in the Nativity skit. He did pretty good. He had his bottle and then fell asleep during it. He got fussy around 7:30 and I decided it was time to get him home to bed. They were going to use a doll for baby Jesus after we left.

I got NJ's acting debut on video camera and the digital camera. Dust was in class so he didn't get to see it. I am sure the grandparents will enjoy the pictures and video also.

jealousy

Everyone at one time or another goes through jealousy of another person. I don't consider myself a jealous person though. I usually tend to be genuinely happy for people when they get something that they have wanted. What I want to talk about is other people that have been jealous of me.

I have lost friendships with others because they were jealous of me. I have the tendency to let my friends know all the good things going on with me and hide the bad. A previous friend of mine once told me that she wished that I would have considered her a friend in all seasons whether good or bad. This friend seemed to always have bad luck. She couldn't take hearing all the positive things that I had to say about my life. I didn't want to complain. And I don't brag about things either. I usually state facts and try not to gloat or brag. Also, there are things that are too personal to even tell your best friend.

I have been doing better with letting friends know when I am going through a hard time. I still like to be optimistic and positive about things though. It's a hard balance for me. I guess because I am such a private person.

Tigers or Cardinals?

For the last couple of weeks, I have been watching the playoffs for the World Series on tv. I haven't watched baseball on tv in a very long time. It has peaked my interest because my family are Detroit Tigers fans. Over the last couple of years my brother has become a huge St. Louis Cardinals fan. He even bought season tickets this year for the Cardinals. He has been selling the ones that he can't go to on Ebay. So, my brother is a bit torn about the World Series. He grew up a Detroit fan, and still is one. But he is also a Cardinals fan.

My brother and my Dad will be going to one of the World Series games. He said he wants to wear a Detroit hat with a Cardinals jersey. My brother wants my Dad to wear his Detroit jersey with a Cardinals hat. He thinks that will make a great conversation starter. I told him he might get taunted or yelled at. Especially if he is sitting in the area of the season ticket holders for the Cardinals. I think my Dad is rooting for Detroit. He grew up in Michigan. My brother is so excited about going to the World Series. He said it is the perfect father/son event.

candy corn

When I was a little girl I loved eating candy corn. My grandma always had candy corn around her house and I always ate it there. For the last few years, I have noticed that my grandma keeps giving me candy corn as gifts around the holidays. I never understood why. I had forgot that I loved candy corn as a girl. She still thinks that candy corn is my favorite thing! I don't have the heart to tell her that I 'm not crazy over candy corn like I used to be. My grandparents told Dust this weekend that Golden's favorite candy is candy corn. And they asked him what his sweet tooth was. : )

There is a particular way that I like to eat my candy corn. My OCD habit is to try to bite down on each individual line on the candy corn. I eat the white top of the triangle first. Then the orange middle, and last the yellow bottom.

grandparents

My grandparents are coming to visit this weekend. My parents are driving them up here. They live in Michigan, but they drove down to where my parents live to stay with them for awhile. My grandmother also has a sister that lives in that area and they were going to stay with her also.

This will be the first time my grandparents see NJ in person! They can't wait to meet their first great-grandchild. This will also be the first time for them to see our house. And the first time for them to visit our church. So, on Sunday we will be going to the first service-the traditional one. They have stated how they hate contemporary services. They can't stand up the whole time and they don't know the songs.

I hope the weekend goes well.

Oobi

Have you seen the Oobi cartoon on the Noggin channel on cable? I can't believe that is a show! Or maybe it's just a skit that is part of another show. An Oobi is just an adult human hand with two eyeballs on top! Did they not have money for material to make a puppet?

I can't believe that it made tv. Imagine hearing the idea of a hand talking as an idea for a kids show. I would have said that it would never have made it past the idea stage.

Do you ever have those thoughts about other tv shows or toys? Shows and toys that become popular sometimes amaze me. Like who would ever have thought talking vegetables would be a successful cartoon for kids-(VeggieTales).

my office

I just realized today that it was my first time to work alone in my very own office at work. When our company moved to a new suite, I was training someone to do my job. We worked together. She quit and I had to train someone else. Then we worked together until I had the baby. Last week, I just watched her do my job. I sat behind her at her desk. Today I got to fully enjoy having an office to myself.

It was so nice to not have someone watching me do my job. And it was nice to not have to watch someone else do my job. I love working when it is quiet and peaceful. It was so much easier to concentrate on what I was doing.

Now all I have to do is to get my co-worker to quit coming in my office and talking to me. : ) I don't mind the occasional chit-chat. It is all the ideas that she has on how to do things differently that bothers me.

back to work

I have survived my first week back to work. My boss wanted me to watch my co-worker do my job to jog my memory. So, this week I just sat back and watched. My boss demands perfection, so I can see that he wouldn't want me to mess anything up. Everything came back to me. I even remembered some things better than my co-worker. But again I have worked there 2 years and she has only been there 4 months.

I have felt a lot better this week. NJ is sleeping more hours straight, so I am too! It is nice to have a break from taking care of him. I was going a bit crazy caring for him 24/7. I had had several crying breakdowns. I am happier than I have been in awhile. I do miss NJ though during the day. I am excited to be able to spend a day home with him tomorrow!

my last weekday

This is my last weekday home with NJ before I go back to work. Yes, I am a bit sad. I am devoting this day to spoiling NJ. He is in my arms as I hunt and peck the keys with one hand. He fell asleep on my chest after I burped him. I wanted to keep him upright so he wouldn't spit up if I laid him in bed. I should lay him down right now. But, there is nothing more precious than a sleeping baby on your chest.

I will have Fridays off work, so technically I will still have one weekday home with NJ. The other four days I have superb childcare by T. That makes going back to work easier for me. It comforts me to know that NJ will be in the comforts of his own home. T and NJ will do great together.

On another note, NJ slept 5 hours straight last night for the first time! Yay for him and his tired mommy!

Bad day at SDC

Last Thursday, my mom and I decided to go to Silver Dollar City. It was a last minute decision we made around lunch time. My mom decided to take the shortcut to SDC on a new highway called the high road. She made a wrong turn which cost us a bit of time. We pushed NJ in his stroller into the park. We both realized that we were very out of shape. We were completely exhausted when we entered the park. We couldn't ride the tram because of the carseat/stroller.

We stopped at the bakery and fed NJ a bottle. We also got a snack. It was hotter than we thought it would be outside. Probably in the '80's. My mom was nervous about NJ getting overheated. She took the cloth diaper I use for a burp rag and got it wet and draped it across the car seat. It blocked the sun and hopefully provided some moisture. NJ was fussy in the General Store and it made my mom nervous which makes me nervous. He continued to be fussy in this big red barn that had a pony show going on.

My mom took a picture of NJ and I by a cowboy statue. She put her camera back in her purse. She doesn't remember if she put her purse back in the stroller or not. About 10 minutes later, my mom asked me to get the SDC brochure out of her purse and we realized that her purse was missing. We traced our steps and asked every beverage stand if someone had turned in a purse. We checked the lost and found and noone had turned a purse in. Our next thought was that it must have been stolen from the stroller. I had remembered a lady bending down suspiciously to look at NJ and make over him. Everyone wanted to look at NJ and say how cute he was.

I had my wallet in my diaper bag, so I was able to pay for some early supper for us. The cashier overheard us saying that my mom's purse may have been stolen and she called security. The security guard took our info. and said that he would look for the purse in the trash cans around were we last remember having the purse. I gave him my cell number to call if they found it. Just as the park was closing at 6pm, we got a call on my cell phone. Someone had turned the purse into some beverage vendor outside the barn. We must have missed one of the vendors. Nothing was missing out of my mom's purse thankfully. My dad was on his way to bring some keys to mom's car. We called him and caught him before he had driven to far.

I was bummed that in all the panic of the situation, I didn't get my kettle corn or big cookie. We had a terrible time. I did get to see the new kids section of rides though. Lesson learned-don't take a baby to SDC with your nervous mother.

my trip to see my parents

I am overjoyed at the bonding that NJ has had with his Grams and Gramps so far. Gramps has walked NJ around the house when I needed a break in the morning to take a shower. Grams has rocked him in the recliner and given him some bottles. They love to make over their grandbaby.

I have gotten some needed sleep since I have been at my parents house. My meals have been made for me. I feel really spoiled.

We went to the restaurant that my brother works at on Saturday. The cajun food was pretty good. My brother was our server, and he came and sat down with us for a second because he only had one other customer.

We might go to SDC later this week. I can't wait! We will also visit some friends and family and show off NJ

Labor Day weekend

I loved the Deanna Rose Farmstead when I went last Thursday for Mops, so I decided to show Dust and Miss Carisma what it was like. We have pictures of NJ in his stroller asleep by goats. I can't wait until he can have a pony ride or go fishing in the pond. The weather was awesome.

We found a 50-75% off sale of baby clothes at Penney's. Aunt Miss Carisma wanted to spoil her nephew NJ. He got a cute onesie that said chick with a magnet picture. : ) His Grampa will love the brown camoflouge outfit with a moose on it.

It was great having Miss Carisma entertain NJ while I slept or did housework. She was great at keeping him from crying. She did a lot of walking him around the kitchen which he seemed to enjoy.

This afternoon NJ has his 2 month shots. DTP-Tetanus, Pertussis. He won't be a happy camper tonight. Remember us.

upcoming events

Since I have been at home with NJ, all the days seem to run together. It's the same old same old. Don't get me wrong, I love being with NJ. We eat, sleep, poop, and watch tv together. I try to get out of the house once during the day. Either to Target, Wal-Mart, Hy-vee, or Osco Drug. NJ usually has a crying spell in the middle of the store. I am usually able to contain it with the pacifier. Anyway, I don't have much to look forward to except some future visits and trips.

Thursday, I am going to the MOPS outing at the Deana Rose Farmstead. That should be fun. I will enjoy pushing NJ around in his stroller. And it will also be nice to socialize. Friday night, Dust's sister, Miss Carisma, will arrive for a visit. This is her first time to see NJ. Also, I will be visiting my parents for one week, beginning Sept. 8th. This will be a fun bonding time for us with NJ. I can't wait!

Survey says..

I signed up for some more online survey sites today. They are free. One of them pays out cash to your paypal account and the other one gives gift certificates. Lightspeedpanel.com, Vindale.com.

I am a sucker for these things. I have been a member of Mypoints.com for several years now. They send me emails of websites to go to and I receive points. Once I earn so many points, I can pick out a giftcard. You can also earn points by purchasing items online. I usually get a $10 gift certificate at Target every few months. I get excited when I see my gift card in the mail.

I know there are scam survey sites out there, so I have to be careful. I do not give out any important info. about me.

tv

I have been watching more tv shows now that I am home during the day. I have noticed there are plenty of '80's sitcoms on cable. I watched an old episode of the Cosby show the other day. It got me thinking about how there aren't many family centered sitcoms anymore. One new one that comes to mind is "The War at Home" on Sunday nights. The parents on the show are pretty bad at parenting. They are extremely open with their kids about everything. The sad thing is that there are probably families out there like this one.

Another show that I watched was "Quantum Leap" with Scott Bakula. I used to love this show.

One program that I am looking forward to this fall is 'til Death with Brad Garrett from "Raymond" It looks pretty funny. The popular tv shows now seem to be dramas. With all the medical and law programs out there.

cry free dinner

Dust and I went out to eat at Olive Garden for our anniversary. We took NJ along with us. We wanted to go to a kid friendly restaurant. Also, a restaurant that wasn't so expensive that people would get angry at us for bringing a crying baby while trying to enjoy a $100 meal.

The hostess asked us if we wanted an infant sling. We both looked at each other and said yes. We didn't quite know what an infant sling was. Apparently it is a "hammock" of sorts for the infant car seat we brought. It worked out great. NJ was awake when we got there but quickly fell asleep. He didn't make one peep the entire time. Dust and I were a little nervous though that at any time he would wake up and start crying. We ate somewhat quickly.

We both realized that it isn't worth going out with NJ if we are nervous the entire time. So, from now on it will either be take-out or find a babysitter and dine in.

"trash to treasure"

I have been watching a lot of the decorating programs on TLC. "Trash to Treasure" and "Decorating Cents" are my favorite. Yesterday, on Decorating Cents, a guy found an old basketball hoop rim in the dumpster. He spray painted it silver and put hooks on it. He turned it into a pots and pan rack for the kitchen. Doing that kind of stuff sounds fun to me. I think it is in my blood.

My grandfather was a "junker" when he retired. He went to auctions, bought items, fixed them, and sold them at the next auction. He had a workshop with all kinds of neat stuff lying around.

My parents love to go to garage sales. My mom has been buying wood pieces-furniture, shelves, and picture frames, and either paints, stains, or spray paints them to match her different rooms. This has been her new hobby since they moved into a new house.

I wish I had some time to do things like that.

"baby person"

I was talking to a lady at chuch who said that she was a "baby" person. She recently adopted two children and both were past the baby stage. She was upset by that because she enjoys the "baby" stage. She was looking forward to being awakened during the night. And loosing sleep. She told me that she would love to watch NJ anytime. Wow, I can't fathom wanting to go through the sleepless nights.

I realized that I am not a "baby" person. I can't wait until NJ can tell me what's wrong with him. I am more of a toddler person. I can't wait until NJ is running around saying and doing cute things. Although, I have been warned about the terrible two's.

I never enjoyed playing with baby dolls as a little girl. It never interested me to give a doll a bottle or change its diaper. I was given dolls, but they just sat on my toy shelf. I preferred stuffed animals. They were low maintenance. : )

Eating out and shopping

Dust and I have done a lot of eating out this past week. A lot of it had to do with his parents staying with us. We took his parents to Zarda's, Applebees, Sweet Tomatoes and Chipotle. Dust's mom cooked us a roast for Saturday supper. I felt like I should have been a better hostess and cooked more meals. But, I did just have a baby 4 weeks ago. And, they were here to help and see the baby.

Dust's parents left this afternoon. We decided to go shopping at Best Buy and Babies R Us. I used up a gift certificate. Dust didn't find what he wanted at Best Buy. He is going to order it online with his gift certificate. He wants an old X-box game that wasn't in the store. For supper we had Winstead's take out. The new orange cream shake is yummy!

help

I have a hard time asking people for help when I need it. I usually begin in denial that I actually need help. I always try to do things myself first. Then pride seeps in and I am unable to ask for help. I feel bad asking people for help. I hate to bother people.

As time goes on, I hope that somebody notices that I need help. If someone else sees the need and offers, I have no problem with accepting help. I am thinking back to when I was teaching Stars. I needed help and there were several people that noticed it. Many people would look into my class and say, "Golden, is there anyone helping you?" Sometimes my answer was, "Yes, they are chit-chatting down the hall." Anyway, I finally had to quit. I usually come to a breaking point with my need for help. I let it go too long, and become an emotional basketcase.

I really want to change. I am going to try to accept help. And accept that it is ok to ask for help. My help with the baby is arriving tonight. I know Grandma will be thrilled to hold NJ while I take a much needed nap. : )

over the weekend

NJ had his final weight check on Friday. I had to keep taking him to the doctor until he regained his birth weight. Last Monday he was 6 lb. 1 oz and Friday he was 6 lb. 4 oz. I am glad to be done with those doctor visits and glad that NJ is gaining weight.

Also on Friday we had a new front door installed. It looks a lot nicer than the wood door with the window we had. We also got a new storm door. The main door is stainless steel, white, with a silver doorknob. NJ slept through all the noise of putting the door in. He was fussy however when I had to pay the guy. A woman from church was over at the house and she held him for me. She had brought supper over for us and had come to sit with me for awhile.

Dust and I took NJ to Chipotle with us on Saturday for lunch. This was our first visit to a restaurant with the baby. We took the stroller in and pulled it up by our table. We also took NJ to Home Depot with us. On Sunday, NJ got to go to Target. We were down to one diaper left!

please pray for my daddy

I got a call from my Mom around 5 pm today. She said that my Dad had been vomiting all day and had pain in his lower left back. They had a doctor appt. at 3 pm and a urinalysis showed that he is passing a kidney stone. My Dad was given a shot for the pain and was sent to the emergency room. My Mom said that the emergency room was packed. She wanted me to start praying. She said that she was unable to use her cell phone while there and that she would call me back later when they knew more.

It is 8:20 pm right now and I haven't heard from my mother yet. I will call soon and leave a voicemail because I am sure she had to turn her cell off. My father has never been admitted to the hospital before and he is very rarely sick at all. This is very weird. My Dad has hardly ever taken a sick day at work. I wish I could be with my family right now.

giving your kids attention

Dust and I just watched the movie "WinterPassing". It was very melancholy. It was about a girl whose parents were both authors. They neglected her growing up because they were both doing their own thing. The girl was an actress who desparately wanted attention. She slept around looking for the love that her father never gave her. The story was about her coming to terms with all of that after her mother passed away.

The story got me thinking about how important it is to give your children attention. The girl in the story complained to her father about how he never attended any of the plays she was in. I thought about how my parents went to every concert or play that my brother and I were in. They were very supportive of everything that we were involved in.

I know also that there needs to be a balance between "making your kids your life" and having a life (job, hobby, etc.) of your own. I know some stay at home moms make their children their life and that can be both good and bad. What happens when the kids are grown? The key is finding that balance.

building muscles

Yesterday and today I had to journey out of the house with the baby by myself. I had practiced getting NJ in the car seat and loading the car seat in and out of the base. I didn't have any problems in that area though. The hard part was carrying the car seat from the car to the doctor's building. NJ had a doctor appointment yesterday and I had one today. The parking lot was packed and both times I had to park out farther than I have ever had to in the past. My doctor commented to me that I would be building muscles that I never knew that I could have with carting the baby around. I said that I really should be building my muscles anyway.

I didn't do much exercising while I was pregnant and I am supposed to be taking it easy right now. I have noticed that I have lost all muscle tone in my legs. My legs are basically skin and bones now that I am not swollen from pregnancy. I think my whole body is in lethargy. I want to slowly get my strength up again.

Regarding the car seat---I should have put it in the stroller. Duh! It didn't occur to me until I saw another lady with her car seat/stroller in the doctor office. It would have been hard to maneuver up the steps to the building though. I always seem to make things harder for myself. : )

learning as we go

Dust and I have had some sleepless nights this week with little NJ. The night of the 4th I got maybe 2 hours of combined sleep. Last night was a whole lot better though. I slept for a few hours after Dust got back from Homers. Then I took the next shift so Dust could go to sleep. If I can get at least 2 or 3 solid hours at a time, I can deal with things much better.

Here are some things that I realized this week:

• Our friends were right about not being able to complete a tv show or movie without being interrupted by cries, dirty diapers, you name it!
• I totally understand the family bed thing now. NJ slept with us in bed one night. I had made up my mind before he was born that we would not do that.
• Always get a burp cloth on before you start burping the baby. : )
• The vibrating baby bouncer is a good bowel stimulator for baby. (He had gone over 24 hours with no poopy diaper)
• There are some weird tv shows on at 3 am. Last night the science channel had a show about a hick town were people were turning into zombies.

another false start

I went to the hospital last night with contractions happening every 5 minutes. I had been timing them for over 2 hours so I was pretty confident in calling my doctor. I was given the go ahead to be admitted to check my progress.

Dust and I had been spending some time with his college roommate. We had a nice sized dinner at Chili's. I had a sirloin steak. We had some ice cream later at Dairy Queen. I was distracted during our social time because I was timing my contractions every 5 minutes. We had to cut the evening short with Dust's roommate.

I started having lower back pain. It made me think that maybe this is the real thing. My dilation was checked and I was at 3 cm. The nurse told me to walk around the hallway for 40 minutes and she would check me again. So, from 12 midnight to 12:40 am, Dust and I walked the floors of the maternity wing. Unfortunately when I was checked again, I was still at 3 cm. The nurse told me to go home, take a shower, and get some rest. So, here we are in the waiting game again. I am supposed to call the doctor back when I have contractions that take my breath away. I shouldn't be able to talk through my contractions. The doctor still thinks I am going to have the baby sometime before the 4th of July, though.

Have a good 4th of July everybody!!! and think of me possibly going into active labor at some point.

striking a chord

Do you ever have a quote or message from a movie stick with you the next week after watching it? Kind of like how something from a sermon will strike a chord with you. I seem to grow more personally and spiritually by quotes/themes/messages in movies. Here are a couple that I have been thinking about recently.

I watched the "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" yesterday. Lena reflected about how two people in her life who had lost a parent at a young age seemed to have so much love to give to others. Lena realized that she had lost nothing and yet held back on loving others. I realized that I hold back on loving others also. It is hard for me to tell people that I love them.

In the movie "Underworld: Evolution", Selene made a comment to Alexander about how he could have killed his son before his son got that evil. Alexander had just been stabbed by his son Marcus and was about to die. Alexander said that he couldn't kill his own son. It made me think of how we might "kill" Jesus with the things that we do yet He will not harm us. With me having a son on the way, I can't imagine harming him no matter what he does.

Choices

I have always tried to make wise decisions throughout my life. Growing up I was always worried about screwing my life up by making bad choices. I would hear family members talk about other people or other family members and how they had messed up their lives by either drinking, smoking, drugs, pre-marital sex, being an unwed mother, dropping out of college, not going to college, not keeping a steady job, etc.

At this point in my life, I can say that I have no regrets. I have a college degree, a wonderful husband, an ok job, a house, and a baby on the way. Nobody has really disagreed with my decisions. I know that it is inevitable that some day my family or friends will disagree with my choices. Most likely it will be with how I raise my children. I know that it will be very hard for me to have an opposing opinion on how I should run my life.

If I disagree with a choice someone has made in their personal life, I usually don't say anything. Who am I to judge what is right for them? I don't like to get into debates with people so I never start anything. It is probably bad that nobody ever knows how I truly feel about a subject. Only Dust knows my true opinions. Maybe that is how things should be.

the waiting game

I will be full term-37 wks starting this Sunday. So, I am in the waiting mode right now. My hospital bags are packed and all the baby stuff is in place. I feel like I have been playing the waiting game for the last 3 wks with the false labor scare. It is starting to get real old.

I don't feel comfortable being at work anymore knowing that I could go into labor any time now. Today I was having about 2 0r 3 contractions per hour and that got me worried. I was the only one in the office. (My boss was out of town and my coworker was at a Quickbooks class) I was trying to get some work done at my desk and didn't really have a good place to put my feet up. I rested them on the computer tower underneath my desk. I am going to talk to my boss tomorrow about wanting my last day to be Monday. I really don't want to work much next week.

I didn't want to blog about my pregnancy again. I have had a one track mind lately focused on the baby. I couldn't think of anything else to write about. I can hardly think straight at all anymore. I am getting some major bags under my eyes also!

remembering a friend

A friend from college called me a few days ago. I have been thinking back about the fun times we had together. We used to work together cleaning the Academic Building. It was a work study job. You would pick a partner and pick a floor to clean. Everybody wanted the third floor because the science labs obviously didn't have carpet to vacuum. Anyway, once we were done cleaning we would find a place to hide to goof off until time to clock out.

We would find another one of our friends that we worked with and we would prank call people at the dorms. I had never realized that prank calling could be such fun. We would laugh about the stupidest things. Our friend Sonya would call people and say that their llama was running around her room and to come get it. I may have mentioned this on a previous post, but the three of us would take a poop at the same time once the bathrooms had been cleaned. We thought that was hilarious!

This friend was also a good friend of Dust's. She hung out with us a lot when Dust and I first started dating. She can be very blunt sometimes, and that always made me laugh. We loved being lazy together. One of the first conversations I had with her and Dust was about the "process" of getting ready for bed. Dust said he hated getting ready for bed because of having to brush his teeth and change clothes, etc. I told them the same thing--that it took me too long to get ready for bed. Our friend said that she just plopped into bed without doing any of those things. She didn't change clothes or wash her face or brush her teeth. We got a good laugh out of that.

new restaurants

Dust and I went to a pizza place that we had never been to before on Saturday. It was called Stonewall Pizza and it wasn't too far of a drive from our house. The restaurant was in an old house. There was another house next door that was a restaurant called Stonewall Inn. They served BBQ. In front of the pizza place was several picnic tables. The majority of the customers ate outside. It was a real cute mom and pop type business. They served New York style pizza by the slice or by the pie. The combo came with a side salad, drink, and slice of pizza for $5.50. That's what Dust and I got. It tasted good and it wasn't greasy or oily like some pizzas can be.

We tried out RJ's BBQ or Bob-B-Que today with friends. I had had the meat once before but not the whole meal deal. My burnt ends sandwhich was pretty good. The cheesy corn bake serving was very small though. I still like Jack Stack and KC Masterpiece better, but this was a nice cheaper alternative. And without a waiting line.

back to work

Yesterday my doctor took me off bed rest and said I could go back to work. I have to admit that I was a little dissappointed--I was enjoying being at home. Anyway, I went back to the grindstone today. My co-worker had a list of questions and problems for me to answer. We went through each mistake, so now she knows how to deal with it in the future.

I was hoping for a stress-free day. My co-worker is behind on doing my daily tasks. (which is now her tasks) I usually get all the invoicing done on Fridays. She only got half of it done on Friday and finished it yesterday. My boss did the bank reconciliation today and had some questions for me. I told them both that I only could work three or four hours and I ended up working five & 1/2. I was weary and having a hard time staying awake. I finally got out of there and went home to crash on the couch. I had been napping for about five minutes when I got a phone call. My co-worker had another question that my boss wanted answered immediately. I know that I have explained to her how to fix the problem several times. She has even written it down in her notes. The extent of the solution in Quickbooks is Edit, delete payment. How hard is that? My co-worker had entered a deposit twice.

I am hoping for a more relaxing day tomorrow. But, I won't hold my breath.

the last few days

I have somewhat enjoyed my time at home these last few days. Despite going to the bathroom every 30 min. to an hour and the occasional contraction. I have watched a couple of movies--The Family Stone and In Her Shoes. I finished my thank-you cards from the baby shower. I have even opened the baby's gifts and organized them in his room.

Dust went to the grocery store for the first time without me yesterday. I made a list for him and tried to put the items in order according to the layout of the store. He called me three times while he was at the store with questions. "What is the sour cream for, and what size of container should I buy?" "What flavor of hot pockets do you want?" "There isn't a Dove brand deodorant in travel size is the Secret brand ok?" He did a good job though with buying groceries.

Dust did a great job doing the laundry, getting the trash together and taking it out, and mowing the lawn. He even had time to relax on the recliner with his laptop. I didn't like the recliner. My belly was putting too much pressure on my back being reclined. I have been on the couch.

hospital stay

If you have read Dust's blog, then you know that I was in the hospital yesterday. I have never been admitted to a hospital before. It can be scary. Especially, when they ask questions like, "Do you have a living will?" Or, "Are you an organ donor?" I know those are just routine questions, but still.

I realized yesterday that you really have to take your own life into your hands. The squeeky wheel gets the grease. I had a hard time convincing two nurses on the phone that I was having contractions every 5 minutes. They said it was just Braxton Hicks and just wrote me off. I finally got an appointment and the nurse said, "Wow, it was just like you said." You really are having contractions every 5 minutes." "Duh," is my immediate thought. It was interesting being hooked up to a fetal monitor. The baby's heartbeat was fine. The graph that showed my contractions had consistant spikes every 5 minutes. The good thing through all of this was that I had not dialated. Because I was not going into active labor, the hospital released me after about 4 hours. I was dehydrated and I have a UTI, so that is the likely cause of contractions.

I am on bed rest until Monday. My doctor will re-evaluate me then. I can do light activity around the house. I plan on finalizing my hospital bag with everything. I am glad that I will probably have a little more time to get prepared for baby. There was a real chance that I could have had the baby yesterday. The nurses had prepared me mentally for that scenerio.

Keep me in the little one in your prayers!

is it or isn't it. it is.

I found out something today that kinda surprised me. My doctor asked me if I had been having any Braxton Hicks contractions. I told her that I didn't know. She said that I was probably having them without knowing it. She looked at my belly and said that I was having one right then. I had thought that it was just the baby stretching out. Apparently not.

It kinda scares me that I didn't realize that I was having a contraction. I am glad that it happened at my appt. because otherwise I would still be clueless. I had noticed my belly tighten at times though. I just thought the baby was growing or sticking his butt out at me. I enjoyed the thought that my son might be mooning me. : )

My doctor now thinks that I will have no trouble having the baby on my own (no inducing) around the first week of July. She thinks I will most likely be two weeks early. She didn't use the words that the baby has dropped, but she said that his head is probably as low as it can get right now. And she said that means that I would probably have the baby in four weeks. Wow.

showered

I was showered with baby gifts yesterday. Our church has a baby shower for all moms on the first child that they have while attending the church. I felt really thankful for all the efforts put into the shower, the gifts, and the love and support from friends. I was humbled by the number of women that did attend the shower. Not to mention the many gifts there that were from women that could not attend. I have verbally thanked a lot of people and I will also send out thank-you cards.

It seems like this summer is filled with wedding and baby showers at our church. It can really put a crunch on your budget/finances. I kinda feel bad about accepting gifts because I know it can be a great sacrifice.

Thanks to T, Wah-Wah, and Vernal for everything they did for me and gave to me!

jell-o fruit salad

Does anybody actually eat the jell-o fruit salads that you find at the beginning of a cafeteria style buffet restaurant? I know my grandparents do and sometimes my parents will get the fruit salad. Do people in my generation eat the fruit salad?

I was thinking about this recently because my new co-worker eats a jell-0 fruit salad almost every day. It looks like she makes it herself in individual tupperware servings. Every day she has a different flavor of jell-0 along with various fruits. I have seen pecans and something that looks like cottage cheese in one of her salads. When I look at the jell-o salad it makes me want to puke. It does not look appetizing at all. It actually looks like something someone threw-up. There are items in the salad that I cannot identify.

My co-worker asked me if there were certain foods that made me sick/throw-up with my pregnancy. I wanted to say, "Well, your jell-o salad makes me want to throw-up just looking at it."