I'm back!!

For New Year's I thought I would try to post more on the blog site. A friend of mine told me that she uses hers as a journal. I think I'm going to try to do that too. I use to agonize over every word that I used and would re-write paragraphs. I really don't have time to do that anymore. Starting now, I am going to use a stream of consciousness (sp?) type of writing.

This year I am going to focus on the positive instead of the negative aspects in life. I often stress about things not being perfect. I am going to accept the imperfection to help my nerves.

I hope this year is more stable than the ups and downs of the previous year. The up of last year was going to Maui. The down was Nathan's diagnosis of autism. I will probably talk more freely about autism on the blog because I don't feel like I can talk freely about it in other avenues of my life. Happy New Year to you all!!

Contentment

I am currently in a state of contentment. I really haven't been in the last couple of years. The thing that has changed is my attitude. It started by reading the book, "The Organic God" by Margaret Feinberg. The book explains the author's journey to find the true God using only the Bible. No commentaries, hearsay, other filters. When Margaret was telling about different things God was convicting her of;I felt God convicting me of the same things. Especially when Margaret was complaining to God about not having the "right" friends. I am enjoying the friendships that I have for what they are. I have a friend that wants to meet me at the pool this summer with our kids and that was one desire that I had wanted for a couple of years.

This book has also stirred a passion for God in me that has not been there in awhile. I started going to the Community Bible Study that meets at our church. It has helped me with being disciplined in reading the Bible. I am excited about what God has for me in the next few weeks and months.

week 31

I have 7 more weeks until the baby is full term. I am hoping that she is born mid-November rather than late November. My belly is so huge that I am starting to look like a freak show. My belly sticks out way too far. Everyone thinks that I am due any time and they are shocked when I tell them that I have about two months to go. I will have to post a pic when I am able.

Think of me. I am miserable. I am having trouble sleeping at night. I am so ready to have this baby.

baby girl

Last Tuesday I had a second sonogram. The doctor found a problem with the baby's kidneys. The valve between the kidney and the bladder either have not developed or aren't working properly. So, her urine is coming back up from the bladder into her kidneys making them enlarged. The doctor assured me that this is common and to not worry about it. There is nothing that they can do right now. When our baby girl is 6 weeks old, the dr. will probably do an ultrasound on her kidneys to see how they are doing. Please keep our baby girl in your prayers!

organizing

I used to think that I was good at organizing things in the house and office. For the last year or so I have realized that isn't the case. I think when you have a child there is definitely a lot more clutter. You have to be in a constant state of transition of baby stuff to toddler stuff.

Dust has mentioned that we are in the process of moving our office to the basement. We have gotten rid of some stuff. I am proud of Dust for throwing away two drawers of computer stuff. We have bought some new organizing containers for the desk. We have been analyzing ways to consolidate. This process has been good. I feel like we will be more functional as a household. We used to have piles and piles of stuff in the office. I want to make sure that there will be no more piles!

beat the heat

NJ and I wanted to go to the pool today, but when we got there at 10 am it was closed. I guess the baby pool at Marty Pool isn't open anymore at 10 am?? We sat in the parking lot for a little while just to make sure we weren't too early. I guess I should have looked up the hours on the website. I didn't want to come back at noon. It is supposed to get to 100 degrees today.

We were in a pool mood, so I told NJ we would put up the baby pool in our backyard. I filled up the pool and put his slide down in it. He had a great time! There is a hole in the waterhose so when I turned on the water, the water shot out of the hose like a sprinkler. I let the water run so NJ and I could run through "the sprinkler".

We had a picnic lunch outside. NJ has a little picnic table with umbrella that I put up. He enjoyed eating at his table outside. I sat on our picnic table beside him. It was already pretty humid by then and about 94 degrees, so NJ and I went inside. He wasn't happy with that. He can stand the heat better than I can!

another week off

Dust is taking next week off from work because his parents will be staying with us. Dust will turn 29 for the first time this Sunday. : ) Happy Birthday Dust! It will be nice to have him around.

I have been cleaning the house in preparation for Dust's parents visit. Cleaning is much more tolerable when I am listening to my i-pod. Hopefully NJ's nap will last long enough today and tomorrow so I can get stuff done. Better get back to work.

it's a surprise

Dust and I have officially decided on a name for our baby girl. But, we are keeping it a surprise! Sorry to dissapoint anyone. I know we told everyone NJ's name, but I want to build up some anticipation. It seems like there are quite a few people at our church that keeps the baby's name a secret until it is born.

I do enjoy going through the book of baby names. I was surprised at some of the meanings of names. There were some meanings that turned me off from the name entirely. Take Emily, for example, it means flatterer. Being a flatterer isn't a positive thing as far as I'm concerned.

Stay tuned until November when the name will be revealed at the baby's birth. : )

It's a girl!!

Most of you know already that we are having a baby girl! I e-mailed most everybody yesterday when we found out. I am so excited! I feel really blessed to have one boy and one girl now.

There are so many cute baby girl clothes now. I have been looking at girl nursery room colors for crib bedding. Now we can focus on girl names now.

Today is Nathan's 2nd birthday! My little man had a Diego birthday party for lunch. His Aunt Carissa has been here to help celebrate. He was spoiled in the present department. He is taking his nap now and later we will probably go to the pool.

Happy Birthday Nathan!

the pool

Today was NJ's first experience at a public pool. He had a blast! We went to the Marty pool which has a "kiddie pool" for 7 yr. old's and under. It was really neat. NJ liked the fish slide. I was surprised that the slide didn't land you into any water. There was some poles in the middle that had water that shot out of it. What did surprise me was how brave NJ was. He wanted to go into the deeper water.

Some other MOPS moms and kids showed up and we ate our sack lunch at the picnic tables. After lunch, the big pool opened. I decided to go check it out for a little bit. I loved the fact that the pool sloped off from the sidewalk area. It was real easy to walk around in the shallow area. There wasn't a defined ledge. The 3 ft. and under was roped off. NJ loved the big pool! He kept laughing at the other kids swimming under the water. Some had goggles on and swim gear. He really wanted to go in the deeper water but I kept him back where it wasn't over his head. The pool was such a hit with NJ that we are definitely going back. I might consider getting a pool pass. Other moms loved watching how excited NJ was!

Grams and Gramps' house

We spent the weekend with my parents to celebrate Father's Day. We didn't do a whole lot. The purpose was to let my parents watch NJ play and to play with him. We grilled some steaks and made homemade ice cream. We played in their backyard.

NJ likes all the toys at Grams and Gramps' house. He especially likes the Sesame Street house with furniture and characters. NJ said Bert and Ernie's name this time. My brother and I played with the Sesame Street house when we were little. So, I have a lot of fond memories. The new toy NJ got to play with this time was a "popcorn popper" mower type push toy. My parents got it at a yard sale. I am just glad that we don't have one of those at home. : )

this weekend

Today NJ and I went with the MOPS group to Deanna Rose. We had a nice time. NJ loved the playground and the John Deere tractors that you can ride on. The weather wasn't too hot because of the storms we had last night.

Tomorrow, we are going to have a yard sale. It is our neighborhood sale so hopefully there will be a lot of traffic going by. A few years ago I had a yard sale that only made $20. I didn't have any "big ticket" items like furniture. This time I do have some furniture--kitchen table & chairs, coffee table, and bar stools. Hopefully, I can make more money this time.

vacation time!

I am so excited about our trip to Omaha, NE this weekend. I am calling it our vacation even if it's only for 3 days. We desparately need this relaxation time. Dust needs it more than I do. I don't mean any disrespect with this statement---we will not be visiting family members on this trip! This is a trip just for us where we can spoil ourselves and do whatever we want!! Don't get me wrong, I love seeing family. Everyone just needs a break once in awhile.

I am sure Dust will be giving you the play by play while we are gone. He is bringing his laptop and will probably be posting from our hotel room. Pray that NJ will sleep well in our hotel room. He hasn't done so well in the past. He prefers his crib to the pack-n-play.

almost 19 years later

In a section of our bookcase is a collection of books that I had as a child. My parents bought me the "Little House" books that came in their own cardboard case. For some reason NJ has taken a liking to the collection of books. He pulls out each individual book from the case and then puts them back in. When I picked up the "Little House on the Prairie" storybook, I noticed that there was a bookmark inside it. The bookmark was an admission ticket to the Laura Ingalls Wilder home and museum in Mansfield, MO dated July 22, 1989. I got the books at the museum.

I was a little disappointed in myself to realize that I had never finished reading all the books in the Little House series. I only got halfway through the second book. At that moment, I decided that I would finish reading the books right where I left off. Dust thought it was funny that I didn't just start from the beginning of the book again. I kinda skimmed the first half. It is just Laura talking about Pa building the house. I started on the chapter where the family all had fevers. I am really looking forward to the last books about the romance between Laura and Almanzo.

When NJ is playing downstairs, I have been pulling out the Little House book and reading it while he plays. Maybe 19 years from now I will finish the books that I recently stopped reading. This gives me hope that I really can finish books. I am not just fooling myself when I think that I will eventually finish "so and so" book.

Kangaroo Climber

We bought NJ a slide a couple of weeks ago. It has a door in the back that he can open and close. There aren't any steps to the slide. It has a platform that he is supposed to climb or push himself up on. There is a circle cutout on the side that he can climb through to go down the slide. He loves doing that!

Sometimes we start our day going down the slide. He is able to see the slide through the window on the french door. So, if he sees it, he wants to go outside or else!

I have actually enjoyed his love of the slide. I usually sit with my feet up at our patio table. We have had some nice weather, between all the rain, and I have soaked it in. The slide is the perfect entertainment for NJ as my pregnant belly gets bigger. I will enjoy sitting outside watching NJ. I am looking forward to the rest of the spring and summer.

release from perfection

A speaker at the MOPS conference mentioned that the slogan is "better moms make a better world", not perfect moms make a perfect world. I like that. I am tired of trying to be perfect. I don't know why I have felt like I had to be. For some reason it seems like a lot of people have the perfect house, the perfect kids, the perfect hair, the perfect clothes. I am sure there are some assumptions that are wrong or have a wrong attitude behind it.

I feel more comfortable letting people know the real me. I don't have energy to clean my house, so if we have company, I'm not going to stress out trying to get the house immaculate. Maybe it's because I'm pregnant that I'm just tired. I am done with trying to be perfect.

Julie Barnhill is the author of "One Tough Mother". We watched her video at MOPS. She basically said that being perfect isn't helping anyone else out. It isn't an encouragement to other moms to see a spotless house when you have three young children at home. She joked about the "Christmas letter" that people send out. It is usually a list of how perfect everyone is.

I think being authentic is what people want to see and hear. People love hearing funny stories of how I messed this up or said so and so. I want to be honest with my imperfections and laugh at them. And give someone else a laugh in the process.

MOPS-(Mothers of Pre-schoolers)

This coming Saturday I am going to a MOPS leadership summit. I will be the finance coordinator for the MOPS group at our church this coming fall. I thought it would be a good idea to attend the conference. It is at a church fairly close to our house so I won't have to drive too far.

I don't really see myself as a leader because of my quiet personality. I guess to do finance you don't really need a charismatic personality. : ) My responsibilities include taking attendance and collecting the dues. I do see myself as a nice person and I know that's important because I will be one of the first faces the mothers will see when they walk in. This is a ministry that I am really excited about.

So, remember Dust this Saturday because he will be taking care of NJ by himself from 9 am until 3 pm.

Baby #2 is on the way!

I am pregnant again! Dust and I are excited about our second child on the way. My due date is November 30th. I have had some naseau, but not too bad.

I am fine with either a boy or girl. We won't keep trying for a girl if it's another boy. Two kids is enough for me.

plans for spring/summer

Today's high is supposed to be around 70 degrees. NJ and I have already played in the backyard. When he gets up from his nap, I want to take him for a walk in the stroller. This nice weather makes me wonder about what NJ and I are going to do this spring and summer.

We are considering getting a membership at the Matt Ross Community Center. It has an indoor pool and exercise equipment. This would be a nice family thing to do on the weekends. Maybe I should get a membership at the local swimming pool? I am not really a pool type person though. I have to be careful about the sun because of my weird moles. Maybe we should buy a swingset and slide for the backyard? I really don't know what to do. But I do want to do something.

Any ideas?

obligation versus love

I want to share something that struck a chord with me while reading, "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World." The basis of the book is about the sisters Mary and Martha in the Bible. The particular chapter was about service. "Service without spirituality is exhausting and hopeless. But in the same respect, spirituality without service is barren and selfish. Martha was doing a good thing in regards to the kitchen work she was doing for Jesus, but she missed out on the spiritual side. The "better part" was not taken from Mary as she sat at Jesus' feet. I kinda feel like maybe I have been selfish for awhile in regards to ministry/service. I don't have a specific ministry that I am doing at the church right now. I have given meals to some moms and babysitted but that's about it since NJ has been around.

The book quotes the book, "Love Adds a Little Chocolate" by Linda Andersen. "Duty can pack an adequate sack lunch, but love may decide to enclose a little love note inside...Obligation sends the children to bed on time, but love tucks the covers in around their necks and passes out kisses and hugs....Duty gets offended quickly if it isn't appreciated, but love learns to laugh a lot and to work for the sheer joy of doing it. I received an attitude check from God. I have had a bad attitude about serving my family in regards to all the housework that I do. I need to serve my family with love and do things just because I love my family.