Late nights

It was so nice to have a three day weekend. I spent a lot of time with friends and had my fill of grill food. I don't think I have recovered from staying up late on Saturday, Sunday and Monday night. It is awesome to be able to talk with friends until late but I always pay for it later. I was better on Monday night going to bed. After I got back from Borders, I stayed up a little and talked to Mr. Sunrise.

The frustrating thing that happened this weekend was having our computer crash. I have missed reading everyone's blog. The computer is being fixed and should be running again on Wednesday night, hopefully. Thanks to T for allowing me to use her computer today. I love the feel of the keyboard, by the way.

Hope everyone had a fun Memorial Day!

I wanna be more like Dust

Have you heard the praise song, "I wanna be more like you, Jesus, I wanna be more like you.?" This song was popular when Dust (or Mr. Sunrise) and I were in college. His roommate would tease him and sing to him, " I wanna be more like Dust."

I think inadvertantly, I have become more like Dust. (and hopefully more like Jesus too). I made a somewhat sarcastic remark to Dust the other day and he said that I am starting to sound like him. I feel like Dust is inside my head now. I cannnot get you, I do not want you, out of my head!-Newsboys.

In some ways this is a good thing. He has made me start to question things rather than to take someone's word as the truth. Now when someone starts to quote something from the pulpit, I will look it up in the Bible to see if what they are saying is accurate. I would have never done that before I met Dust.

Dust and I have this ongoing debate on whether he is a pessimist or a realist. He thinks he is a realist and I think he is a pessimist. I know he has been thinking about blogging about this so I don't want to ruin it. The other day Dust and I were talking and I said reality hurts doesn't it. He was pleased with that reply because it backs up his case for being a realist. I like to live in a fairy tale world and sometimes Dust bursts my bubble. With Dust's influence, I am coming out of my fairy tale world and into reality.

Every now and then a "Dust" word will come out of my mouth. Take for instance the word inadvertantly that I used earlier. That is definately a Dust word. Other Dust words are: disparity, procured, and other intelligent sounding words. I obviously can't think of any smart words right now. It is past my bedtime.

I guess spouses have a tendency to rub off on each other. No pun intended. Yet another Dust trait I have picked up. Maybe some of my humor will rub off on him.

the boat returns

When I was in upper-elementary school, my dad bought a boat. I thought it was so cool. There was a section in the front that you could walk-through and sit in. I assume there is a name for this, but I can't think of it at the moment. There were two windows, one in front of the driver and one for the passenger. Anyway, it was a distinct looking boat. The seats in the back could flatten out if someone wanted to sleep. There is a picture with me in the boat with my Garfield stuffed animal and my brother has his stuffed monkey named Bimbo. When my brother and I were teenagers, we were too embarrassed to go out in the boat with our parents. As a result, the boat did not get used very much.

Around the time I started college, my parents had a yard sale. My dad decided to sell the boat and use the money to help pay for my tuition so I wouldn't have to take a loan out. My dad knew of the people that he sold it to because they lived near us.

Last Saturday, my parents were driving by a place that sold boats and decided to stop and look. My dad looked one over and said that it looked a lot like the boat we used to have. After all, it did have a distinct look. He went inside and asked about the boat and said it looked like the one he had about nine years ago that he sold to Mr. Michael. The salesman researched the paperwork on the boat and said you are right. The previous owner was Mr. Michael and he had it for nine years. Once my dad found out that it was in fact his old boat, he had to buy it right then.

I am glad that my dad got his boat back. I can't wait to take a ride in it!

On-fire

What does it mean to be on-fire for God? Last night's sermon was about people that were on-fire for God. The person would be passionate about telling other people about Jesus. Another characteristic would be the hunger the person would have for God's word.

Do you have to be the person that jumps up and down in front of the altar to be considered being on-fire for God? I was observing how people worship last night. There were the ones that were down in front of the altar area that were very extroverted in their worship. When the preacher calls everyone to come up front for more worship, I usually get distracted if I am up there. Everyone is cramed in and I try not to hit anybody. I have a hard time concentrating because of all the loud noises. I usually get more from God if I am in my pew worshiping or kneeling down in my pew. Sometimes I think that maybe people will look down on me because I stay in my pew. Will others be worried about my spiritual condition because I am not jumping up and down in front of the altar? Then I realize that this is just silly thinking. I wonder if there is a correlation between a person's personality and the way they worship God. I am sure there is. The preacher last night told us to be real with God. I was being real with God in my own way.

A chapter closed

Last night I had to tell the girls in the program that I teach at church that I wouldn't be their teacher anymore. I was really nervous about it. When I told them that they would be getting a new teacher in June after promotions some of them said, "But you can't leave Golden." It was really sweet and a lot them gave me hugs.

Stars is a three year program for 3rd-5th grade girls. I have the honor of crowning two of the girls next Wednesday night. I have had one of the girls in my class for all three years. I am very proud of her and it has been neat watching her grow up. The other girl I have had in class for maybe one year. She finished the program in record time! I am very proud of her also.

I decided to resign as sponsor for many reasons. First of all, I have peace from God that this is what I needed to do. I had been having trouble maintaining control of the classroom. I felt defeated every Wednesday night and came home a nervous wreck. I cried and usually could not go to sleep those nights. A lot of this had to do with the fact that they couldn't find anyone to help me. I had to take roll, teach a lesson, do crafts, help girls with worksheets, and listen to the 15 of them say their memory verses/honor steps. Talk about a handful! It could have also been a classic case of burn out.

I want to believe that I have made a difference in the lives of the girls. I look back to see if I have let God shine through me and that my words have been His words. I haven't been perfect, but noone can be. I am closing this chapter of my life and look forward to what God has for me in the future. As my last act as sponsor, I will be sewing many badges on sashes this weekend. Guess what Mr. Sunrise will be doing this weekend also!

Condemning, closed-minded, and stubborn

What makes a person decide to change from the religion that he/she was raised in to pursue another religion or church denomination? I have heard some people say it is in their pursuit for truth. For me, truth is in God's Holy Word-The Bible.

I have been thinking about this recently because my husband and I have three friends now that are attending a church that is not the denomination that they were brought up in. I know that there will not be denominations in heaven and we should all unite in what we have in common. I have never said anything to these friends about it until recently.

A good friend of mine told me that she was attending a messianic jewish church now. She asked me if I was mad and I told her no. I told her I may be a little dissappointed because we wouldn't have the bond of attending the same denomination church. If she is happy and is where she is supposed to be than that is great. She sent an email about how she is observing the passover and the feast of unleavened bread now. She explained what it was all about and said that "these feasts are listed in scripture as to be celebrated forever wherever Israel shall live." The tone of the email to me felt like she was telling everyone that they should celebrate the feast of unleavened bread. I responded to her email with some scripture verses. Here is one of them-Colossians 2: 16,17. "Therefore do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a new moon celebration or a Sabbath day. These are a shadow of the things that were to come; the reality, however is found in Christ." She did not email me back after that. I sent her an email asking if she was mad at me. She sent me an email last night saying that she wasn't so much mad but that she had given up on me. She said that I had been condemning, closed-minded, and stubborn. I have never been called those three words before. I told her it was fine if she wanted to celebrate the feasts, but that she shouldn't tell others that they need to. If standing up for what you believe in is being closed -minded, than maybe I am.

My friend told me to never write her back again. She said that she will see me in heaven, but that we have too many differences to continue our friendship. I am very sad at this loss.

Boredom, Boxes, and Bicycles

A friend of mine was telling me that on the occasional times she left her kids home alone they would complain about being bored. She limited their video watching and I believe cut their television out. (that is a good thing). Another friend commented that when she complained of being bored as a child, her mother would say all the different chores you could do. At that moment, I thought about my childhood and what my brother and I would do when we were bored.

Actually, I don't remember being that bored because my brother was extremely creative. J and I had our own big box that our dad flipped over and cut holes in so we could put our head and arms through. It made us kind of look like robots. We would also pretend that the box was our motorhome and run around the house and yard in it. Yet another use of the box was our "General Store." We would sit inside the box and would have stamps, stickers, etc. for sale on the top of the box. We would take turns shopping at each other's store. It seems like we basically swapped pennies from our piggy bank.

Another great pastime was riding our bicycles behind my dad when he was mowing. We never got close enough to him to be dangerous. Our family had a huge square yard out in the country so there was plenty of room for us to do that. We lived in a white farm house out in the middle of nowhere. (from K-6th grade for me)

All of this happened before Nintendo, Playstation, and X-box. It was also before we had a VCR in the home. The television we would watch in the summer was "The Andy Griffith" show at noon. I realize now how much television and movies dominate my life. My goal for the summer is to be creative and have projects to do instead of sitting in front of the tube. I will begin after my season finales are over. : )

college friends

Last night, my husband's college roommate came over for a visit. I hadn't seen him in almost 5 years. He was pretty much the same person except for one detail. He had a ponytail which he took out so I could see his long hair. In college he had the typical clean-cut short hair. Quite a change! Hi! if you're reading this J. Hey J, I bet you could get a role playing Jesus in a church play.

He told stories about driving around the mountains in CA and CO. Apparently he loves to do that sort of thing. I don't see the fun in just driving up mountains to see how far you can go. He attempted driving a road that was not meant for public use and got stuck. Trying to find help in a deserted area was difficult. Everything worked out ok for him though.

It is nice to see friends from college again. I think for the most part people stay the same except for minor details like long hair for instance.

Phantom of the Opera

I have a tendency to judge a book (or music) by its cover. I have always written off musicals and operas because I think they look boring. I can never understand opera singing and I don't have the patience to listen to it. Recently I have realized that I need to become a well-rounded person and be somewhat cultured. I have heard that the "Phantom of the Opera" is wonderful. Is it a musical or opera or play or all of the above? Anyway, it has been made into a movie and has been released on DVD.

My family and I watched the "Phantom of the Opera" yesterday on DVD. My brother was excited about watching it so that is why we rented it. He is an awesome singer and is more cultured than I. I was immediately engrossed in the plot of the story. "Who was the man and woman at the auction and why did the man buy the monkey music box?," I thought. The soundtrack was unbelievable! I recognized some of the songs but never knew that they were from the "Phantom." Some of the music really calmed me and I hadn't felt that peaceful in awhile. My mother made the same comment. ("Think of me, think of me softly")

I have got to buy the soundtrack to the movie! Either that or buy the movie. Is there a "Phantom of the Opera" book I can read? I am also wondering if the DVD version is different than the play or musical. I am starting to get obsessed. Better distract myself with some regular television.

Favorite '80's sitcoms

Thanks to Dash, I have been singing the Facts of Life theme song since his post. His post gave me the idea to share my favorite episodes of sitcoms from the '80's.

Growing Pains-starring Kirk Cameron. I loved the episode of the prom dance. Carol and Boner (Mike's best friend) were dancing together and they were both worried about what Mike would think. If I remember correctly Carol and Boner started liking each other. Mike was cool with them being together though. I kinda identified with Carol being the nerdy good-girl who got good grades.

Family Ties-starring Justine Bateman and Michael J. Fox. Mallory and Skip were in the Keaton's basement. Skip had a thing for Mallory. They realized that they were locked inside the basement and there was noone to help them out. It got really cold down there so they decided to put on the squirrel/chipmunk costume to keep warm. Mallory realized that maybe Skip was a nice guy after all. I also remember the Christmas past, present, & future episode with Alex Keaton. He saw how their traditional Christmas tree picture got started. They chose the same spot each year by the tree and hung the same decoration.

I enjoyed watching Mr. Belvedere, Silver Spoons, and Different Strokes. None of their episodes really stuck out to me. On the Facts of Life, I remember Jo and Blair always fighting/clashing. Blair was consumed with her looks and Jo didn't care much for that sort of thing. Tootie and Natalie had several fights also. I can't believe that they all shared a bedroom together! It was a nice size if I remember correctly. I also watched the Golden Girls (which I feel ashamed of now). Seeing some old reruns of the Golden Girls I couldn't believe how smutty it was. Most of the punch lines came from Sophia. Blanche was the slutty one.

Maybe this got you reminiscing about 1980's television. I was in elementary school in the '80's, so maybe some of my "well seasoned" friends will remember the episodes in greater detail.

fear and peace

I have been reading "A Woman's Walk With God," by Elizabeth George. The first 3 chapters are about love, joy, and peace, the first three fruit of the spirit. I have just finished the peace chapter and it has stuck with me. I knew I needed this chapter before I began because I struggle with anxiety. Reading the first page made me more nervous, though. "90% of chronic patients today have one common symptom-fear." Now I am worried about getting a chronic illness because of my fear.

What I need to remember about peace: It is not the absence of problems. It has nothing to do with our circumstances, but everything to do with knowing we have a right relationship with God. "Fear is failure to trust our faithful Father." I need to be more like Mary who rested in God's presence, and less like Martha who worried (Luke 10:41). My pastor preached about that not too long ago.

To cultivate this fruit of the spirit, I will turn to the Lord and pray. I have tried to give my fears to the Lord, but somehow they keep coming back. I will try not to get caught up in fear and worry. I may have to daily release my fears to God.

things you've always wanted to do

Yesterday in Sunday School, we talked about things you should learn in your 20's. Some thirty year olds were saying that they were glad that they got to travel and fulfill their dreams in their 20's before they got married and settled down. This got me thinking, "Is there anything I want to do before I reach my 30's?"

It seems that everyone has the desire to travel. If I am honest with myself, I really don't have that desire. I am a creature of habit and ritual. I like sleeping in my own bed and keeping a schedule of when I eat meals. I tend to get "backed up" whenever we travel because my schedule is always thrown off. I don't adapt to change very well, and I am really not that flexible. This is something I am working on.

Things that I want to do are probably little things. Being shy, there has always been things that I wanted to try but was always too embarrassed because people would be looking at me. Last night I had the opportunity to jump on a trampoline. I have only been on a trampoline maybe a couple of times. I haven't had that much fun in awhile. It was like I was a kid again with no cares in the world except trying not to fall over the edge. It was kinda liberating. Mr. Sunrise watched me from inside the house. He commented to the people inside that he hadn't seen me smile that much in a long time. I am so glad that I swallowed my pride and did something that I wanted to do.

people watching

I am going to be one of those little old ladies that you see spying from beneath the blinds someday. I know this because I have already started that habit. Am i just naturally nosey, or is it my obsessive compulsive disorder kicking in, or maybe a little of both? I am constantly looking out the window or peeping through the blinds to see what's going on with the neighbors. I enlighten Mr. Sunrise on the events of what went on around the neighborhood. "So and so mowed their lawn today." He wonders where I get the time to do all this spying. He always asks me, "Now how long did you work today?" "There is a huge motor home in the driveway across the street, " I say. Mr. Sunrise replies with a "that's nice, or why do we care, again?"

There is an older retired man that lives caddy-corner from us. He is always pacing up and down the sidewalk leading to his driveway. Every time I look out the window he is there walking up and down, up and down. Whenever I leave my house or come back home, I drive by his house and there he is. It is starting to creep me out a bit. He doesn't look dangerous. I guess I don't like the fact that maybe he is just spying on me too.

the box of paper

In addition to doing accounting work for my boss, I also have to buy office supplies. I always dread the day I have to go to Office Max and pick up a box of hp computer paper. It is extremely heavy and always kills my hands and arm muscles. It takes me a day to recover because of how sore my muscles become. My boss is usually never there to help bring it in from my car.

Yesterday was Office Max day. I already made up my mind that I was not going to buy the box. I was going to buy several individually wrapped reams of paper. That would be easier to carry. I pick up 4 reams of paper, some paper clips, and a binder. In the check-out lane, the cashier said, "It would be cheaper if you bought the box and it has 5 reams of paper." "I will go in the back and see if we have any." "Ok, i said" (There is never anyone in Office Max so cashiers can just leave and do those kinds of things) I thought well, she is right and it's not my money that I am spending, so I should go ahead and buy the box. She came back a couple minutes later, and said, "We just sold our last box. Office Max is going to stop selling hp 92 brightness paper in boxes." "That's ok, " I said. Inside I was thrilled!

When I got back to the office, I told my boss about the paper. He said that he wants the hp 92 brightness paper. He will not use anything else. So, I guess I will have to buy them individually. : )

the video camera incident

Every so often I am going to tell a story of my past. This way everyone can get to know me a little better. If you have already heard this story, bare with me.

Every senior in high school looks forward to senior skip day. Besides prom or graduation, skip day is an event that is planned out. My group of friends had the day picked and we had planned to go to our friend's swimming pool. As the day approached, it seemed like every girl had backed out. I told my parents about it and they said it was ok. My mom had my excuse note written out: Please excuse "golden" from classes on May--.

It was just me and my best friend "L" that decided to skip that day. We were so excited! We went to her house and sat out by the pool. Before we got our swimsuits on, "L" had a brilliant idea. She wanted to make music videos by the pool. "L" went inside and got her parents video camera. I did not want to do this. "L" handed me the camera and showed me real quick how to push record and were to look into. She turned on her "secular music" and started dancing around the pool. I pushed record, but was having a hard time working the zoom function. I walked forward a little, and a little more, and a little more, when suddenly I found myself inside the pool! I was very confused and wet. I never really had good depth perception and looking into a video camera makes it even worse. My best friend was laughing hysterically. I was so mad that she didn't tell me I was getting close to the edge of the pool. Thank goodness I was in the shallow end, though! Only my pants and half of my shirt was soaked. We went inside and I changed clothes. We thought we should check the video camera out to see if it got water damage. Looking into the lens, we could see water drops inside it. We knew we should get it looked at quick!

We called around at different video camera repair places and decided on a store. "L" and I brought the camera in and waited nervously. She knew her parents were going to get upset. We found out that there was only minor damage done and it wouldn't be that expensive for them to dry it out. Dealing with the camera took the rest of the day. At that point I wished that I had never skipped school that day.

I found out from some friends the next day that "L" was telling everyone that I had ruined our senior skip day. I never confronted her with it, but now I wish I had. She also told her parents that it was all my fault. "L"'s parents wanted me to pay for half of the cost of the repairs and I agreed to it. After all, I was the one that fell in the pool with it. "L"'s parents could never find anything wrong with their "baby angel." (spoiled brat) Her parents were in the ministry, but they were both kind of rude and snobby. Her father mentioned in front of other company that I had ruined their video camera by falling in the pool. At that moment I wanted to say,"Well, your daughter was listening to music that I know you wouldn't approve of and she was the one that told me to tape her!"

I am really not still bitter about this event. I have forgiven "L" for all the mean things she has done to me. We grew apart once we started college. I ran into her at my parents church about a year ago. She was greeting at the door and I said hi L! She looked at me and said nothing. She must have seen me go up the balcony stairs, because her and her husband came up there to sit. She did talk to me after church and was cordial.

Growing up with a brother vs. a sister

At a bible study last night, two friends of mine were talking about what it was like growing up with sisters. They both felt comfortable dressing in front of other women because they had to growing up. One girl said that she had to share a bathroom with sisters and there was always someone in the shower, on the toilet, and at the sink all at the same time. They also felt comfortable around a woman when she was breast feeding. They said that they wouldn't be embarrassed to breast feed their children some day in public. I am uncomfortable changing clothes in front of other women and I am also uncomfortable around a woman when she is breast feeding. Is this because I grew up with a brother and not a sister?

I have also noticed that some women that had sisters seem to talk more about "girl things" than women that did not have a sister. I would rather talk about movies, t.v., music, or any topic that would come up at the guy's coffee night. : ) Some girl talk bores me. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy talking about relationships and other emotional subjects. I do like hearing how my friends and their families are doing.

I know that my brother was a big influence on my sense of humor. He did a lot to shape my personality and the person that I am today. I am so glad that I had a brother and not a sister. I wouldn't trade him for anything!

Reality t.v. shows

When someone mentions reality t.v., there are only two types of reactions. You either love them or hate them. There is no middle ground or grey area. I am a lover of reality t.v. shows. Only the ones that are done tastefully though.

The reason I love them has to do with my interest in personality types. Not too many people have my personality type-I.S.F.J. on the Myers Briggs test. I enjoy the dynamics that go on when you bring different types of personalities together and put them in a situation where they have to get along. I like to analyze why people do and say the things they do.

On the "Amazing Race" last night, Joyce had to shave her head to win the fast forward. She is very brave for going through it and I had to admire her for what she said. "It's just hair, it's only external, I am going to have to let my internal shine through." I am rooting for Uchenna & Joyce to win. At first I wanted Rob & Amber to win, but they have won enough money.

One has to admire Stephenie on " Survivor" for all that she has been through. I believe that she deserves to win for being the last team member on Ulong. She pulled her weight on all the challenges and she gets along great with everybody. I still like Ian though. He is my sole survivor pick for our fantasy survivor game.

I am impressed with Tana on "The Apprentice." She has won every time she has been project manager. She is able to roll with the punches better when obstacles come their way. (For example, the t-shirt logo printed backwards) When she tries to act cool, sometimes she can pull it off, sometimes not.

Well, that was my two cents worth.

Am I becoming a mooch?

The company I work for shares office space with an accounting firm. We share a kitchen, copy machine, and receptionist. Today I walked by the kitchen and noticed the receptionist taking a donut out of a box. I told her that the donut looked good and she said that I could have one. It wasn't really my intention to try to get a free donut. This kind of situation seems to happen a lot. The accounting firm always seems to have an abundance of food lying around the kitchen. They have ordered a lot of pizzas recently and of course there are going to be leftovers. They always let me know when there are extra breadsticks or pizza. I almost always take them up on the offer. If I didn't eat it, it would end up in the trash. I kinda feel like a mooch though. Maybe I should bring in some food to share. I have some old candy canes from Christmas. : )

Backed up

My plumbing was backed up on Saturday and so was the bathtub. The corn dogs, tots, and pizza I had Friday night plugged me up and I believe my razor blade cover clogged the bathtub. What medicine is effective in relieving this problem? I tried Mylanta because it was cherry flavored. Only time could tell. What is effective in unclogging drains? My husband and I decided to go to Home Depot to buy a snake. We thought that it was the most common instrument relied on to get the job done. The snake was powered by our drill. Drew had cranked out what seemed to be like hundreds of feet of wire down the drain but nothing happened. The Mylanta had relieved some pain but still hadn't solved the problem. So I tried something that guaranteed results in 6-12 hours. Drew wanted to go back to Home Depot to buy Kleer Drain which used air pressure to unclog drains. While we are at the store, I feel that the medicine is kicking in. Talk about fast results. Kleer Drain also proved effective. I guess the second time is a charm.

Being fake and being real

Reading Dirt Road's blog has reminded me to keep it real. I should be happy with who I am and not try to be someone that I'm not. It is too much work to put on a fake show for people. I am naturally a lazy person so it would be easier to just be myself. For once in my life I am comfortable and secure with who I am. I still sometimes struggle with worrying about what other people think of me though.

When you grow up in the church, you learn that there is a certain image you need to portray. Someone can become a master at being something that they are not. I think that can be a reason why you run into some fake people in the church. As Christians, we are the ones that need to be real to other people. Non-christians can detect fakeness in a heartbeat.